Feeling unsupported/unsure what support I want or need

[Janicchoplin]

Hi all

This is my first post. And not one I thought I would be writing. I love reading others stories and never thought to share my own. But it's become to the point where I am feeling all sorts of emotions and I'm unsure with how to proceed with them.
You hear so many stories of others just getting on with it and being looked down on by female doctors that say they are going through it also and heres some antidepressants.
I say no to these and I'm silently accused of wasting their time because why am I there if I don't want medication.
And I do want medication but for me I see antidepressants as a sticky plaster at best that deals with only one of the many symptoms. And so I'm perhaps being overly picky i don't know.
But i want something that's going to sort out the primary issue, which for me is the physical symptoms. Constantly feeling as though I have done a workout. And pains in my right shoulder and arm (not a stroke)
Unsure what I am asking in this post. I'm writing in what I call my desperate hour where I am trying to get my 2 work days off as I'm struggling with overwhelm right now.

Would be interesting to hear others stories and I guess not feel so alone with this.
Also my partner is very understanding he tries to do all I ask and is very patient with me when I'm boiling with anger and snapping at everything he says and does. So I am very lucky there. I appreciate that.

What exactly are you asking, though? Have you told your GP your symptoms, and they’ve offered you antidepressants because they think they’re psychosomatic rather than physical, rather than running tests? Change GP? Mine is the Very Brisk type, but listens to me, and has generally gone along with my assessment of my own symptoms, and offered appropriate tests/medications etc.

Honestly I think I was just venting. Yes I've spoken to my gp. She sent me for a scan. Said oh your scan is good. No problems. I said so am I going through the menopause or not. She Said. Oh I don't know. I was quite confused because that's why I was going in the first place. And Honestly thought that's what the scan was for. Then I said well how do I find out. She said well I guess we never know really. I am now put off going back.

Sorry to hear you are suffering with symptoms. Aches and pains, moodiness/rage and a feeling of being overwhelmed and not coping are definitely signs of meno, but could be other things too so the GP needs to check this out.

When I went to my GP with similar symptoms she ran full blood tests to check it wasn’t anything else, such as thyroid issues, anemia etc before concluding it was peri. (BTW You don’t need blood tests to prove meno as they are unreliable and apparently not useful if you are over 45, though I felt my high FSH helped my case).

What age are you OP, and did you have other symptoms that made her suggest a scan? It seems weird for her to start with a scan (unless you are not uk and your doc is keen to do scans for other reasons!)

Go back again (ideally see another GP at the practice) and tell them that you think you have menopausal symptoms. Ask if they could please confirm either way because your symptoms are not currently manageable, and you would like to try HRT.

Hi. I am 50 this year. My female doctor is pretty much. Antidepressants and if I want them to come back. Very uninterested in any other method. Which is quite frustrating.
I'm currently having bizarre periods. I have gone years with max 72 days without a period. Then for the first time in my life I finished my monthly on the Saturday only to have another one equally as heavy the Thursday after. Its crazy both lasting 4 days.
The scan apparently was to check for endometriosis. As it runs in the family.

Your doctor doesn’t sound great at all. Also, endo is often missed on ultrasounds if that was your scan, as all the action is outside the uterus and hard to spot without a laparoscopy. Ps. Sorry for late reply!

That's OK! Really. Why on earth did this lady have me have a scan. The scan was awful as I hadn't taken enough water so they had to do it from the inside. It was so uncomfortable.
I'm going to go back just need to find a way of getting a different doctor. They seem to put you with the lady doctor for these things.

Virtual hugs. I must say you're lucky to have a loving and supportive husband as some are dismissive towards their menopausal wives. I'm an introverted person and always find it hard to communicate how I feel towards other people. To compensate for my recluse nature, I joined online forums like this to know how other women deal with menopause problems and to share mine too. I also do journaling to vent out my thoughts and feeling, and keep track of my symptoms. I take a walk to refresh my mind too. As for your shoulder and arm pains, I think it's a frozen shoulder condition but you need to clarify it with your healthcare provider. Best of luck OP.

Hugs from me too

Hi. I totally agree. We have been together for 20 years so learning our individual language has been a long process. Upstairs and downs followed by a closer bond which I realise isn't always the case.
He is what I need on the daily but doesn't fully understand the problem so I'm in the same situation. Trying to find others that are going through it and having some understanding of the symptoms and how you are left feeling exhausted. People keep saying. Exercise is good for you etc. And I'm sick of saying. I know this. I've exercised my whole life. I just don't have the energy to do it. To the point I'm struggling to do mundane tasks. And they are like. But if you do Exercise you will have more energy. I want to scream honestly.