Rage + Talking scribble

[upmost00suport]

Hi ALL, I need you help Ladies, my missis who I ador is 51, Ive read up on all the peri / menopause so I understand what she's but I cant feel how bad it is, I know her monthlies have gone from a reasonably steady 4 weeks to 5ish weeks as I always keep a track for her

Her anxiety sometimes is thru the roof and Ive had to rescue her a couple of times from situations she couldn't cope with, for me none of this is a problem + she knows Im am available 24/7 and can get to her if she needs me very quickly

Her rage towards me sometimes is about a 8 out of 10, I can cope with this as I told her, if she needs a sholder to cry on, needs to let off steam or needs a punch bag Im here

What is confusing me tho is some of the things she's saying to me when raging, things that have happend, nothing major but shes twisted the event just to sort of have some more ammo to fire at me

So the question is, is making thing up / worse / twisting, all part of it ?

Thanks

I can’t help other than to say my Mum is doing exactly this at the moment. She’s never really questioned my intentions before but now she twists the things I say so that my intentions weren’t good. She makes things seem like the worst thing ever, the other day she got annoyed at me because I repeated myself in a sentence. In those specific times (normally lead up to period) there’s nothing I can do that is right and I’m second guessing everything I say incase it gets interpreted wrong. All I can say is I actually feel reassured reading your message to be honest as it can feel quite hurtful but maybe it’s not so personal. Just genuinely confused how hormones can make you behave like that 🤣 wish you the best with your missus , I can only hope to have someone as supportive as you when I go through it myself

Thanks for responding to my post Lucy, I really appreciate it,
I dont thing it is personal, maybe as we're the closest to them we're No1 in the firing line, as said I'll be her punch bag when / if needed but what hurts is twisting of events to make something out of nothing, if this bastard menopause is effecting their mental state then how they see it is how they see it, all I can do is my best to try get her to see a medical professorial to see what can be done

Is she taking anything? I found that progesterone on its own sends me into rages - I went on the mini/progesterone only pill after I had my second child and I felt so rageful and almost murderous.
i just wanted to say you are being wonderful and understanding.

No unfortunately she is not taking anything, a few hints have been made by her friend who is in the medical profession and also me, sending here stuff to read that has helped other but she's very very stubborn,

we have appointment next month with gyne/doctor (I always go with) so hopefully I might be able to have a word to see if she has any suggestions

Its hard work but no pain no gain

Yes, I absolutely lost my mind and became a different person. When I “came out the other side” I was filled with guilt and regret at the way I had behaved and how hurtful I had been to my loved ones. Your wife is a very lucky woman to have you.

Did you take HRT?
I've totally lost my mind too. No HRT allowed due to cancer, feelings of rage and sadness continuously. I can't stand who I've become.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear you are going through it too. I couldn’t take HRT due to family history (cancer).

It will pass and you will emerge “out of the fog” but it’s horrible going through. Good that you are recognising what’s wrong though, I didn’t even have the perception to realise what was happening. Only with hindsight. I hope you have some family around you who will try to understand.

Best wishes to you, most sincerely xx

@AgileGreenSeal thanks.
It's truly hideous. They withdrew my HRT after secondary cancer was discovered last November. I feel my life is ruined. I could literally scream with rage at the unfairness of it all 😢

Sorry OP. I've hijacked your thread!

😢 hugs to you @Enigma52

This would make sense for my mum. She started on progesterone and it took 3 months to kick in and then they doubled it with nothing else and it’s recently hit the 3 months and the personality change has been quite something to adjust to! Unemotional and cold and at certain times in the month irrationally ragey! It feels like it wouldn’t bother her if I just stopped existing, if anything she’d be quite relieved!! But I know this is all hormones so thankfully not taking it to heart anymore. Just sad as I feel like I’ve lost her, at least for a while. I don’t even need her for anything, I just miss her lighthearted and kind self! I know I am completely off loading but got no where to go with all this. But the progesterone thing is good to know - thank you 😊

Is this possible, looking at dates, what I can work out is that my Missis might also have post menstrual syndrome that been made 1000 x's worse with this bastard peri/menopause

She's been OK'ish (I say "ish", as i know she cant be 100% considering what shes going thru) for a couple of weeks, period just finished, now she's changed for the worsed, I think if she had a loaded gun she would poss pop off one of my kneecaps, I'll have to tread very very carefully, keep a date log and ask you Ladies if Im over thinking or its poss ?

I cannot speak from experience of going through it myself. All I can say is that I sympathise And totally relate with the changes in behaviour within certain times of the month so you’re not over thinking and our hormones so go up and down anyway throughout the month, let alone in peri when things are all over the place. I’m a Christian, so I’m going to pray. Make sure you pray for you and your lady because there doesn’t seem like there’s a lot else to do!!

The rage for now has eased quite a bit but every now and again she seems lost, I dont know if its this brain fog thats causing it

I do always ask if there's anything I can do to help, sometimes there is but most of the time not, I feel proper shit that there's nothing I can do to help when she's like this

Is there anything I can do, any suggestions?

Thanks