I wasn't listened to

[fluffyteach]

I am sitting here writing this almost in tears. I am just on the other side of a hot flush - I also cannot do anything without my body just feeling boiling hot at the moment - my mood is low, I am not sleeping well, and my skin is so dry that it is sore and painful.

I went to the doctor's a couple of months ago and was recommended blood tests - they showed lot vit D. I have been taking that but none of the symptoms I have have changed. I was told 42 was " a bit young" but I know how I feel and it is not normal for me. They just suggested putting my anxiety meds up as that was also a symptom.

There's no way I'd get an appointment today now so my plan is to ring on Monday morning. I want to feel listened to and this taken seriously because I just don't feel like myself right now and my body is doing things that I can't control. My shape is changing, I have gained weight but am reasonably active and haven't changed eating habits - if anything I have eaten far better than before - and I just don't feel in control of my body.

Does anyone have any advice on how to put my case forward? Did anyone else have to fight a bit more than they thought they would! This is making me miserable and I don't like it!

I went to see a private HRT specialist. It was called Newson Health. I can vouch for the doctor I saw because after my comprehensive blood test - it turned out I didn’t need any HRT yet. I think you can tell a private doctor from their ‘no’s’ as well as their ‘yes’.

I guess, and I mean this as gently as possible, I gave up on anyone listening to me when it came to my health years ago.

I am so sorry you are feeling so unheard. Try to concentrate on what you can do for yourself..book that NHS appointment.

And alongside if you can - book a private appointment.

Blood tests are mainly useless @Cherryana

It's sad you feel no one listens to you.

I don't quite get what you mean by I think you can tell a private doctor from their ‘no’s’ as well as their ‘yes’.

Drs make medical decisions, not based on whether you're paying.

In women in peri, they vary so much.
The NHS suggests blood tests for women under 45 simply to rule out anything else.

But women under 45 who may be having an early menopause (and have no other diseases) are really no different to women over 45.

@fluffyteach You need to make a list of all your symptoms. The one that is most important (to drs) is irregular periods.
Are yours?

If not, list all your other symptoms.

Say you want to try HRT and that you have read everything online about it.

If they won't agree, maybe there is another GP who is better?

@JinglingSpringbells you would hope that would be the case about private doctors giving unbiased advice based on what is best for the patient. Unfortunately it has not been my experience.

My GP was excellent. The only symptom I had was hot flushes but they were completely impossible, prevented me from doing things/going places.
She recommended low dose paroxetine and it worked within 2 days. I started on a tiny dose, 10mg but the result was almost miraculous. I had to go up to 20 a few months later as my body became used to it, then 30, which I’ve been taking for about 2 years now. I get a mild flush maybe once a day. Nothing like they used to be.
Is that something you would consider? If your GP is unaware, refer them to a study that was undertaken at Liverpool Women’s Hospital, I believe, which proved its efficacy.

Honestly, it changed my life!

Agree it's young - but 12% of women have menopause before 45 so not that rare

Ask if it's true that because you are quite young you it's more important to access HRT to prevent harm ? Always ask rather than tell - flatters the ego

Do you know if your family tends to experience early menopause? Again "- it's quite young but my mother and sister ".... can help set the scene for the doctor

@MrsSkylerWhite Your GP perhaps isn't aware of the 2015 NICE guidance. It says very clearly that ADs are not to be used except for women who cannot use HRT. NICE and consultants have been wringing their hands at GPs who still persist in this misprescribing.

It's really important to get this message out especially to younger women who need the benefits of HRT as they are also at higher risk of bone loss and heart disease. The incidence of both has been shown to be much higher and falling hormones need to be replaced up to age 50 at least.

This isn't a criticism of you, but your GP was at fault. The guidance has been around for almost 10 years.

My mum had a hysterectomy in her early 40s and my sister didn’t talk about such things! She’s 53 now and has said she was very similar at my age. I have a coil so don’t really have periods anyway but my other symptoms are becoming debilitating. I had a flush this afternoon and I was a mess for ages.

Really appreciate the advice here and will take the suggestions. I feel like I was just fobbed off and actually it’s making my life quite difficult.