I really wasn't expecting this, I need some kind words.

[LoveBeingAMum555]

I am 52. Fit and healthy, not overweight. No menopause symptoms until February this year when I started with dry eyes, which quickly led to crippling anxiety, emotions all over the place, joint pain, vaginal dryness and difficulty sleeping. I feel like I have been hit by a bus.

What next? Do I keep going and hope this passes, or see my GP? Is it possible to get through this without HRT? Advice welcome.

That sounds tough. I'd go to the GP, why suffer if you don't need to?

Why do you want to do this without hrt? Like you, I was fine until I wasn’t and it hit hard, I felt like I was failing when I went to my doctor who gave me a caring talking to. Been in hrt for a month now and I am really feeling a difference and am a nicer person again!

I felt like this for years. Been on hrt for six months and my life is transformed, I feel so foolish I waited to start hrt.

Go to your dr and ask for HRT.
Menopause is not an endurance test.
Why would you want to avoid HRT?
The safest and most modern types are risk-free for at least 5 years. Transdermal estrogen +micronised progesterone.

You don’t get a medal or a prize for going without HRT lovey xx Not every woman needs it but it sounds like you too

I take vitamin D, primrose oil, d mannose and iron, do circuit training, and drink very little - and I’m also on systemic HRT and topical HRT for vaginal atrophy

Absolutely get HRT. I couldn't have it and I am crippled with osteoporosis and arthritis. Family members who are on it are skipping around and enjoying life.

Definitely get medical advice and then you will know. Best wishes.

i had your symptoms pretty much word for word. Been on HRT for 18 months and it’s a game changer.

I no longer feel constant anxiety, I can drive without dread and the negative voice in my head has calmed down a lot. Don’t get me wrong I still have bad days and the odd flush / get grumpy the week before my period but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was. A few months ago I tried coming off as I wondered if my symptoms had been as bad as I remembered and if they had been in part due to the fact I had a very late third baby ( at 47!) and had bad baby blues but within weeks of stopping I was a teary / anxious maelstrom again.

I agree with others don’t suffer if you don’t have to. HRT is nothing like the synthetic hormones you get in contraception in case that’s one of your worries. I could not tolerate the mirena coil but this is so different.

Everyone I know who has suffered from menopause has found HRT transformative, please don't feel you have to 'tough it out'.

What age do people usually go on HRT? I know it differs but is 40s too young?

i went on it aged 48

It is never too young if you are having peri symptoms.

I am 58 and haven't had periods for over a year and have not needed HRT as my symptoms have been very mild so far but if they were affecting my quality of life then I would definitely try HRT.

Well, you could do nothing at all and feel like this, and possibly worse, for the next 5-10 years.

Or you could battle it out with extra walking/healthy eating/self care, and perhaps still feel like this for 5-10 years.

Or try HRT and feel 42 again . . .

It's interesting that there is a post today about if there is 'too much emphasis ' on menopause and its impact by the media and what to expect.

But it's also clear from other posts that the information about treatment still isn't 'out there' as much as it could be.

HRT is a choice absolutely, but to suffer a lot when certain types are safe for several years, makes it appear that this message isn't reaching women.

No one knows how long they will have symptoms, if any. It could be 2 years or 20 or forever. (Yes, women of 80+ are on HRT as they still have symptoms.)

HRT as soon as possible, no question. I pushed on through a shedload of really unpleasant symptoms during my 40s and early 50s as my (lovely) female GP wasn’t hugely enthusiastic about prescribing HRT. A year ago, post-menopause, I was reassigned to a new doctor - younger, male, and, as it turns out, very knowledgeable about menopause and almost evangelical about the need for women to replenish and rebalance their lost hormones, retain muscle mass, etc.

I’ve been on HRT since and my energy levels are back to normal, I sleep better, and feel generally brighter and less ‘foggy’. I don’t believe I’d have suffered so badly during peri-menopause if I’d been prescribed HRT earlier.

It’s not the blunt instrument it was 30 years ago. If, like me, you have memories of its association with increased risk of breast cancer, etc, do some reading and try to speak to a GP with some knowledge who can put your mind at rest. It’s there to help you - and god knows it’s been a bloody long wait for older women’s healthcare needs to be taken seriously. You don’t get a medal for doing it all by yourself.

Joint pain is a red flag for osteoporosis so do ask for a dexa scan.

spoiler: it won’t pass

There is no need to suffer - see your GP or a menopause specialist if you have complex history and see what’s available.

it’s not an all or nothing approach for example you could use some topical oestrogen to deal with the vaginal atrophy or you could leave that and instead look at wider HRT in terms of overall health and don’t forget there are risks to HRT but there are also massive risk of the female body with the drop in hormones that include things like heart disease and osteoporosis.

information is key - inform yourself and give it a go. You can always come off HRT if it’s not suitable for you and remember sometimes it takes a few months to tweak the routine and find the best solution for you and a couple of months for things to calm down and get into some kind of routine so give yourself time.

I started at 46

Thank you all so much! You have no idea how helpful those comments are. I am going to make an appointment with the GP tomorrow, I don't know why I feel a bit scared by the thought of HRT but nothing can be worse than this.

I was terrified too, but really you are just replacing something your body used to produce. It is a relief to start, or at least that’s how I felt

Dont be a ~mug~ martyr!!
I struggled for 15 YEARS.. dragged myself to work.. doped up on painkillers... vitamins.. turmeric the lot!
3 days on HRT and I was a new woman.. no muscle pain, energy returned, no depression.. and I found my smile again..
Go to your gp... and if they are reluctant push back... do whats best for you.

I left it as late as 58. I feel much better for it, too. I tried to get through it without HRT but the aches and pains and vaginal dryness got too much. I'm a new woman now, or at least back to my old self

I second the low dose topical oestrogen for vaginal atrophy, plus something like Replens. It’s one of the symptoms I found utterly demoralising - sex became unbearably painful and the physical discomfort and itching was a constant reminder of suddenly being ‘all dried up’. Mentally and emotionally not helpful!

Getting proper treatment for stuff like this is essential for your overall wellbeing, and there’s help out there for all the things you describe, OP. You can’t completely stop every symptom, but you can definitely take the edge off and feel much more in control of your own outcomes.

I started HRT 7 months ago and I'm only 42 but blood tests confirmed I'm very much peri- menopausal.
Honestly it has made the world of difference and I feel like me again, I've struggled to get a go appointment for a review to get it out on repeat and I've now run out and I'm back to the exhausted , anxious, irritable and miserable person I was a few months ago so looking good forward to my appointment on Monday to get another prescription!
Like others I wished I'd not put off going to the doctor for so long but I'd been worried about being fobbed off due to my age - luckily my gp listens and arranged couple of blood tests.

That’s how it started for me. Crippling anxiety was the worst. Get to the gp asap op. HRT will change your life (might take a while to get the right combo/dose but stick at it).