Did anyone feel different as a person post-menopause?

[TakeMeDownToLondonTown]

Hi,

Just wondering if I'm alone with this but I wanted to know if others feel the same. I'm 52 and had my last period aged 45. Sudden end to menstruation - regular as clockwork and then nothing one month. No HRT. GP didn't think it was menopause. It was.

I have had a really rough time. In particular, anxiety and wanting to be away from people. I also had a really bad sex surge (settled now) but had been living in a sexless marriage for years. I began to struggle in my career (something I'd always loved). I was pissed off at everyone and everything.

As a result of all of the above I filed for divorce after a 23 year marriage, I left my career of 25+ years and just felt like another person. The things I do away from work have also changed. I now like to get away and have discovered a love of hiking in the lakes/peaks etc. and long weekends in London. I feel different. Almost like my new set of hormones (well, altered set) has made me become someone else.

I have also slept with 4 other men - which I feel bad about (post end of marriage). I was not like this when younger!!! I feel lonely now as I now realise my marriage was not ideal. Cold and lacked affection.

My confidence also improved so I ended up in a senior management position. Totally not like the old me. I can't stand the TV on anymore and haven't switched mine on for 3 years!!!

I just feel lost and bewildered now. Single too!!!

Has anyone else experienced this?

Bottom line is...I feel like a different person!

Sounds like in many ways your life is better - you have left a loveless marriage, have a better job, you are doing things you haven’t done before - all sounds rather positive.

I am the same age and newly menopausal. I can’t say I relate but I’m in a happy marriage and have a job I love.

You sound like the poster girl for positive change after menopause! I bet loads of women this age just trudge along feeling increasingly miserable.

I feel extremely lonely though and know my money pot and disposable income has dwindled.

I can completely relate. I started the dreaded meno in my 30 ‘s I’m going to be 50 next week. I feel that is has changed me completely to who I was. I used to be very socialable but now as you have said I much prefer hiking, lakes generally quieter times. I’m really not sure what to think about it all as still feel a little lost. Well done you it sounds like you have done some positive changes.x

I've changed and I'm 57.
Some of it meno and some empty nest.
I do feel lonely and less tolerant of crap.
I have zero sex drive which is good and bad I guess.
I exercise now take magnesium and vit d gave up booze.
I prefer to do stuff on my own than fitting in with others.

Yes, I'm a totally different person now.
53, started meno aged 48.

In no longer care what others think of me and I say what i think ( much to 19.5 year old DD's embarrassment!)

Zero sex drive, thanks to secondary breast cancer drugs.

I love my own company and find people ( other than my immediate family ) exhausting.

No clue what I want do job wise ) been off sick for months ).

I'm drifting, but do enjoy a good coffee and cake ( never drank coffee before meno!)

I'm post menopausal and realised the other day I have become a lot calmer, and less depressed since I no longer have the cyclical hormonal hell to deal with. It's quite nice.

You could still look into the pros and cons of hrt especially if you feel flat. You are only 52 and there is still time to do something about disposable income and money pot!

I’ve been using Happy Mammoth - I can say they have made such a difference! It’s got rid a the meno bloat !

Yes - I became less tolerant generally and basically couldn't stand my husband. I plotted divorce for a year or two, it was all I could think about. Anxiety was through the roof as well.

I went on hrt and while it hasn't changed the tolerance levels, I'm a lot calmer (and we are not divorced). He isn't perfect but neither am I - I just decided to focus on the positives of being married to him rather than the negatives. The main issue in our marriage is lack of intimacy (he isn't that interested) but on the whole we get along well and have common interests.

I could have easily been you - in some ways your life is better but I realised (after seeing so many friends my age divorce then end up with nobody, or someone who was more of a twat than their previous) that I didn't want to end up like them. I didn't want to take the risk.