What is best to treat rage/low tolerance/agitation?

[highlo]

Pretty sure I'm in peri-menopause. Have quite a range of symptoms but finding the mental health/mood swings the worst thing to deal with.

I have such a short fuse, no patience, constantly snappy over small things. No tolerance for anything.

Being referred by GP to a menopause clinic but it could take months. I honestly think I could deal with the rest if I could sort my moods out. I'm finding myself a nightmare to live with......never mind anyone else 😂

I should have said I've had a mirena coil in for a few years now - no periods at all.

Don't know if that makes a difference?

Divorce.

I would love to know the answer to this too op!
@WinterDeWinter i have contemplated this but I feel it’s my issue not his 😂 (it definitely is me, I am so unreasonable and think I’ll probably give myself some kind of stomach ulcer with the rage I keep pent up inside me boiling away over the most inconsequential things…)

5 mins of meditation every day. Even if you’re on your lunch break. If you can do a bit longer, then even better. Lots of apps offer it.
Also breathing exercises.

Do you exercise? I do Zumba x2 a week, but kick-boxing is a suitable option too.

get out for a long walk, often as you can, with an audiobook.

😂😂😂😂
Been there, done that. If I wasn't already divorced when my peri symptoms kicked in I'd be in jail by now

I’ve been on Evorel patches and Utrogestan pills since 2018 but still had intense rages which were quite unlike the previous me. I was prescribed Testogel in 2022 to help with libido problems and found that my rages have significantly reduced - which seems counterintuitive given the existence of “roid rages”. I can only assume that I’ve managed to rebalance my hormones.

Edit: sorry, I missed the part about you being referred to the menopause clinic. I hope you find a solution. Perhaps look at diet as well as meditation? Also, I think there’s a lot to be said for bashing a pillow with a rolling pin to get the temper out!

Lock the bastards in a cupboard. The rage soon subsides 😁

retirement and the children moving out.
i didn't think me taking a pill would help the household or workplace issues.
so the rose colored glasses came off and i embraced the realization that any change would come from me.

i found it rather insulting that me spotting the unfairness of the patriarchy or the laziness of others meant i should take drugs vs those who were wrong in their ways not step up to the plate.

@Ohyeahwaitaminute @MrsSkylerWhite
Thanks for the suggestions...I'm pretty active, go to the gym and have a very active dog so already walk a lot (maybe need to add in a podcast).
Also tried some apps with relaxation/breathing techniques.

I agree all of this does help my overall mood at a surface level. But I still feel very irritable and like I'm fine one minute then full of pent up rage that just explodes the next minute.

It's the type of rage/anger that no amount of deep breathing would help, followed my extreme guilt for losing my shit (yet again) at this I love the most.

It feels like such an extreme hormone imbalance that I feel like I need some kind of "medication-type" fix. However if read its most commonly low progesterone levels that cause these feelings? But then my mirena coil should be giving me progesterone?

Take up boxing?

L-Theanine -- start with 200mg before bed. It's very calming.

I'm divorced, happily single, have lovely (mostly female) colleagues, decent so can't really blame the patriarchy in my situation.

It's my poor dc that surfer from my moods most but I struggle to tolerate my mum, sister etc too and it's sooo unlike the "old me" as I never used to feel this way towards anyone

Worth asking GP for your testosterone levels to be tested, in advance of seeing the specialist meno clinic. The clinic may be more likely to respond to a request to try it if that’s what you want to do. Some women I know do find it makes them feel calmer.
Also look at your sleep and diet as well as the exercise and obviously reducing stress wherever you can.. but that’s usually easier said than done for most of us.

and @highlo is the annoyance justified?
not that you should go burn down bridges but if family are being insensitive dismissive or difficult (like expecting you to do shopping without a list), or having ESP and knowing they changed their hair appointment to the second tuesday of the month. then you have to wonder how a pill would help that situation.

**
”… but I struggle to tolerate my mum, sister etc too and it's sooo unlike the "old me" as I never used to feel this way towards anyone”

Ah. Whole different kettle of fish, I suspect. The older I’ve become, the less inclined I am to tolerate nonsense/do things I just don’t want to do.. Not sure that’s menopause but more a natural result of aging and becoming less of a people pleaser. Embrace it!

It's more simple day to day things. DC not doing their homework the first time they're asked, my poor mum emptying my house when babysitting and putting things in the wrong cupboard......

The rational me knows I should be grateful she's helping and how lucky I am. But the rage i feel about a mug being put on the wrong shelf is off the scale!!

• emptying the dishwasher

At least my rage would be justified if she was emptying my house 😂

A colleague slighted me at work. I didn't feel the rage subside for a week. I just felt like an angry coiled spring the whole time. No advice but I'll watch the thread.

Are you eating plenty protein?

I bet some of the agitation towards your dc is justified. They likely take you for granted.
I was suffering with agitation, then I realised that if I went around treating people like they treat me , they would be unhappy with it too.

Oh thank goodness it was your DM emptying the dishwasher and not the whole HOUSE …🤣 (although I was secretly impressed by her stamina..)

It’s hard to extrapolate the anger and utter intolerances with the situation we’re in. It’s also a bit ‘chicken and egg’ too. I’m not sure how old you are, but most of us arrive at a place where we don’t really give a toss about a lot of things, anyway.

Ive found that I really don’t think I benefit from meditation. Until I stop doing it! It’s not a cure all, but adds a calming layer into your day.

Try and notice the positives in the day. We have blue sky and sunshine here. My radishes are sprouting. I’ve got a friend coming round later.

You do obviously need checking out on your hormones, but try and add some more self care into your days or weeks going forward.

Kick-boxing, yoga, reading, crochet, jam making, pottery classes…whatever floats your boat.

Wow this mirrors my experience exactly, feeling like a coiled spring all the time and agitated like someone suspicious at the airport 😂.I’ve taken up colouring with my kids felt tips and colouring books but I’d prefer HRT!

The only thing that worked for me was running . I used to go out as the hulk and come back again as Bruce banner.. The endorphins definately worked

I was going to say running as well.

Hello, I had this same sudden uncontrollable rage when I took HRT especially the 12 days of progesterone, utrogestan. I caused too many traumatic memories that I'm certain my teen children will never forget. I came off HRT and the rage instantly stopped. A year later it hasn't returned . I'm weepy and cry easily which I suppose suggests I need some but I'd never do that again.