Grumpy old git, depressed, perimenopausal or all 3?

[malificent7]

I know that I am definately perimenopausal and am HRT but I am becomming such a recluse.
I used to love a night out, gigs, festivals, parties etc but now I just want to chill at home and crochet. I did used to drink a lot though. Dh is very extrovert and dosn't give me a hard time but I feel ge might leave me as I'm so boring.

I am increasingly critical and grumoy and I get depressive bouts...I felt suicidal about a month ago but after upping the hrt, felt so much better.
I don't rate friendship as highly any more and I used to love fashion but now, whilst I do love to look nice, I now longer wish to slavishly follow fashion....but id love to know what I fancy wearing nowadays.

i think the biggest issue I feel is that I feel lost and dont know who I am any more.
So I guess my question is- am I a miserable old git, depressed or perimenopaisal?

I have always been more on the introvert side of the scale and never did much in the way of parties and clubbing and I was never a drinker but I used to go out quite a bit, meet friends one on one in town or in a small group, go for food to a film, gig or exhibition, coffee. Now if I do this I feel wiped out the next day.

I live semi rurally now and find the city pretty overwhelming in a sensory way. I still like to see my friends or to see an exhibition or mooch around the books stores but I probably try to stay away from the busiest times and places. It doesn't help that the local town centre is very run down these days.

I'm not depressed or grumpy about it as such but I do wonder if it is a sign of me ageing or menopause not being able to take it anymore or if it is more to with having moved to a more rural location 10 years ago and also having been working from home for the past 10 years as well as lockdowns so that my body / nervous system is just used to being in a quiet open space most of the time?

When I was out in town the other day I did enjoy browsing for a book but I also dropped £50 on skincare I needed and I didn't get any kind of buzz out of it like I used to and I am not really that into browsing the shops either so I avoid shopping unless I actually know what I need. I probably do most of my shopping online. Not really into fashion as I have my own style and always have.

I enjoy some friendships but do feel a bit disappointed that some friendships never recovered from the covid era and I never feel sure how much running to make in order to get them going again or if I should just let them go.

I don't think any of the specifics of what you enjoy or don't is unusual or bad but it does sound like you are depressed and I think that is what I'd be concerned about, so its worth speaking to your GP to see if he can help you in some way.

We all change though life and so its ok to reinvent yourself as a crafter and homebody! Find new things you might like to do with your husband. Mine is also more introverted but we enjoy some hobbies together as well as having our own activities.

First port of call though is speak to a doctor.

I'm the same. Not on HRT but definitely peri.

I'm trying to embrace it.

I would embrace it but I don't want to hold dh back and / or have him leave.

I am all 3, but coming through the other side, no longer so grumpy anyhow... menopause was 2 years ago.

I laughed truly joyfully with dh last week and he noticed... and said it was "lovely to have you back"... so I guess things are moving along.

I definitely relate though not on hrt yet, but in terms of not being arsed with festivals and fun and fashion, all of which I loved before. I’m 48. I do force myself out though, and once I get out and have a good time, it feels like a good reset. Energising in a way that going to bed at 9pm (which I do a lot ) just isn’t. But I still don’t do it much as it feels like a lot with my business and son and energy levels. My boyfriend (not ds dad and we don’t live together) is similar to your dh so I also relate there!
Very glad to hear there could be light at the end of the tunnel beyond my wit!

Following as I’m the same. I’m on sertraline and looking to go back on HRT. Fed up, apathetic, want to just slob out.

Im seeing the GP soon about my persistent cough which I’ve had for years and I’m exhausted. I just want my mojo back.