Health Anxiety & peri/menopause - common?

[Worridoncemore]

I'm 55 and hopefully coming to the end of peri. I've had health anxiety to varying degrees for over 10 years. Thinking about it, I've probably been peri for most of that time. It's been so much worse the last couple of years. Whereas previously I'd have long stretches of time when I wasn't worrying about my health, these days I literally go from one worry to the next. Sometimes I have several on the go at once! If I'm not worrying about myself, I worry about my family. I'm convinced it's only a matter of time before one of us gets diagnosed with something nasty. I'm actually very fit and healthy with no issues (that I know of!). I even dread going to the dentist, opticians etc these days in case they spot something! I'm also acutely aware that the older I get, I'm statically more likely to get seriously ill (cancer being my biggest fear) which there's no getting away from.

Anyone else?

I could have wrote this. I dont know the answer.

I used to be like this. All stemmed from being happy and worrying something beyond my control would come along and spoil it all. It used to come in waves and sometimes it would be so intense, I couldn’t function properly.

I wouldn’t say I was “cured” now but I certainly think about it all a lot less and do not panic when I have a health issue, rather I am calm and rational. For example. If I have a sore throat now, I don’t automatically assume throat cancer and start googling but give it a few days and it’s gone. Not googling everything and disappearing down rabbit holes has made a huge difference. There was no one moment I can point to that changed me but I do think that taking up exercise after a lifetime of not doing anything, has meant a lot of positive changes and the dimming of the health anxiety is one of them. Maybe it’s the physical and mental effects, maybe it’s just that I feel I’m doing something that might help my health. but if I had to point to one thing that really helped, it is definitely exercise. I just kind of lean into things now, if that makes sense. Worrying never changed anything, it just made me miss out on life going on all around me.

I still hate going to the dentist in case she diagnoses me with a serious illness there and then and I think this will always be the case, but I am a lot better.

Many hugs to you, OP. It’s bloody awful xx

@Paninaro94 , can you explain more about leaning into things?

I’ll try!

For example, me and my partner are planning a trip for a big birthday next year. In the past, I would never have wanted to book anything that far ahead, let alone look forward to it and enjoy the planning, because I would be convinced I would get sick in the meantime and be unable to go. In fact I would think I was tempting fate by booking (or even thinking about taking) the trip, almost as if I was goading illness. Now I just look forward to stuff and plan ahead. If I get sick, it is nothing to do with having a holiday booked or allowing myself to enjoy the build-up.

I think I thought I was making myself vulnerable by looking forward to anything as it might not happen. I missed out on years of enjoying the anticipation and I am just not going to let that happen any more. I lean into life now, I want to enjoy things. Not just major events like holidays but little things too.

As I say, I don’t really know where this change of mindset came from, it was gradual rather than overnight, maybe the exercise helped a lot, but despite little wobbles from time to time, I am determined not to go back to how I was.

Hope this helps in some way. I really feel for you.

@Paninaro94 I agree regarding exercise, I believe it's stopped me from going complete ga ga tbh. I've exercised regularly for most of my adult life and also eat fairly healthily. As a result I'm slim, fit & healthy and look younger than 55 in contrast to many of my peers some of whom are very overweight, unfit and have health issues such as arthritis, high blood pressure, diabetes etc. Therefore, my chances of not getting seriously sick have got to be higher than theirs right? But it's the what ifs??

I agree googling is the worst thing you can do but I can't help myself and have discovered illnesses I never knew existed!

I had CBT which helped a bit but I gradually slipped back. I can't take antidepressants as I had a bad reaction which put me in a&e making the HA they were supposed to be treating even worse! I'm loath to take HRT as I have fibroids so I don't want them to get worse. I have realised though that my anxiety ramped up when I stopped taking the combined pill so I'm sure hormones (or lack of) are to blame.

I do try to organise things which I couldn't do when I was at my worst 2 years ago but it's an effort as I often think I'm tempting fate.

Sigh.....

Not googling everything and disappearing down rabbit holes has made a huge difference

This is so important - HA will never improve if you persist with the "researching". It's like an addiction and your brain begins to " crave" the false reassurance you (temporarily) feel when googling. If you can manage to stop doing this one thing - and it will be very difficult in the beginning - your HA will massively improve.

HA is very, very common. Many young people have it though I suspect getting older probably triggers it in some people. While the internet is amazing, it's probably responsible for much of the prevalence of HA. Prior to having all the information in the world at your fingertips, you would have probably relied on your GP for medical advice. Now you consult Dr. Google which opens the door to endless diseases, genetic abnormalities, online "support" groups...

It's easy to see where the anxiety begins to take root.

@worriedoncemore HA is not rational otherwise we would realise, for example, our chances of being diagnosed with a serious health issue at the dentist is miniscule and there is no point in worrying about it anyway as wouldn’t it be better to know, yet we can’t seem to process that knowledge correctly. I am, as I’m sure you are, an intelligent and sensible woman but that’a anxiety for you. It might be worth discussing options with your doctor again in terms of medication which may help. I know you had a bad experience before but there are many different “families” of them, iyswim.

The online support groups fed my HA. There was one site in particular that had thousands of members and hundreds of posts a day and some days I would spend hours on it. I read every post and remain to this day an expert on symptoms of illness and disease. If my HA pops up again, I usually know it because I am tempted to have a look again on that site. It only has a few active users now as newer social media has taken over

HRT does not make fibroids worse. The oestrogen isn’t a high enough level.

Having said that, it hasn’t done anything for my anxiety either.

@Paninaro94 I think I might know the website you're referring to. While it's reassuring to know there are people as "crazy" as me it can make depressing reading and even the thread titles can be triggering and have been responsible for me worrying about illnesses I didn't know existed. Same with any health forum tbh.

@CulturalNomad Google rarely brings reassurance either as there's so much conflicting information on there and it's hard to know which is accurate as anyone can write on a website with no medical qualifications. I do hanker for the good old days when your GP was the only source of information. The media has a lot to answer for too with all the constant cancer stories plus all the awareness campaigns, necessary but of course triggering for someone with HA.

Yes I am an intelligent woman but my anxiety can make me completely irrational. I do have a GP appointment soon, primarily for an actual health concern (a lump on my hand that is likely a ganglion and has been looked at before) but will use the opportunity to discuss my HA again, although I'm terrified of taking any drugs - antidepressants, hormones anything, after my a&e experience caused by Sertraline!

@Joyfuljoyce that's interesting about HRT, the gynae I saw about my fibroids suggested otherwise but will ask again.

Sympathy to everyone else suffering with this!

@Paninaro94I think I might know the website you're referring to. While it's reassuring to know there are people as "crazy" as me it can make depressing reading and even the thread titles can be triggering and have been responsible for me worrying about illnesses I didn't know existed. Same with any health forum tbh.

I just remembered an anecdote to illustrate this point. I was scrolling a "support" forum and saw a thread entitled "foamy urine". I didn't open it as I was consumed by a different worry at the time so scrolled on. However, a few months later, I went for a wee and thought it looked a bit foamy. I remembered the post and searched it up. To my horror, I saw it could be a symptom of kidney disease and even though the responses were reassuring the OP, it triggered a new fear for me and had me analysing every wee! Thankfully, Dr Google was relatively reassuring on this occasion and I soon realised the little bits of foam I was seeing was a far cry from that of kidney disease. However, it just shows how damaging the Internet can be when in the wrong hands! I do try hard to stay away from such forums but it's so hard not to fall off the wagon!

My late mother suffered terribly from health anxiety. A different era, so it took the form of endless doctor appointments, medical tests, even emergency calls for ambulances when she thought she was having a heart attack or stroke.

And she did indeed die from a stroke...at age 88.

All the decades of her life wasted on worry and anxiety and she actually had no chronic health issues until she developed arthritis in her 80's.

Just posting this as a cautionary tale for those of us who can get caught up in a worry spiral. When it starts to impact your quality of life you really need to seek out help.

@Worridoncemore I was also told by both the Nurse Practitioner and my GP that they would not prescribe HRT for me because I have fibroids.

@Smokeysgirl mine didn't say they wouldn't prescribe it, just that it's something to be mindful of.

@Worridoncemore , i too had side effects from setraline. I started bleeding within 2 days of taking it. My HA immediately thought cancer and i had to wait 7 months for a scan to ascertain it was just hormonal. I worried the whole time.My GP has recommended trying citalopram but im scared I start bleeding again so im VERY reluctant to take it. I doubt i will.

HA is awful.

@ssd Sertraline brought me out in huge bruises, a rare side effect. Spent several hours in a&e thinking I had leukaemia, bloody terrifying for anyone, HA aside. I took citalopram years ago with no problem but I'm scared to try again as the same family as Sertraline.

Go speak to your doctor now! When full menopause hit me, it effected every part of my personality, physically and in my relationship with everyone around me. I felt murderous thoughts towards everyone and felt like I was completely alone. I didn’t want HRT because of the supposed risks, but now having low dose HRT plus anti depressants (for urge incontinsnce not depression do much) plus anti anxiety Treatment - this was the worst aspect of it all.. I’m now feeling much more like ‘me’ and I don’t wake up with that anxiety knot in my stomach or ready to fight or flight! If only more information was available for women BEFORE they hit this stage x