Does this resonate with you?

[idreamofkefalonia]

First post, long time lurker on MN, never posted before or commented on posts.
I feel shite and need some advice. Energetic, independent, outgoing, give anything a go....4 years ago life started to unravel. CEO of an organisation dealing with volatile, violent, drug related incidents on a daily basis mixed with constant, spontaneous heavy bleeding.I held it together until I couldn't. One day my body shut down and I went from being the highly motivated me to not being able to move off the sofa for weeks on end. The stress of the job took it's toll. Mum to 3. I was always the one doing school runs and pick ups, being the fun mum-kids (still) flock to my house like pigeons!
In the last 18 months......I've lost every scrap of confidence. I struggle to leave the house, driving has become a daunting experience. Propranolol gets me round the corner to a part-time, minimum pay job. Not been in a supermarket for 18 months.
On HRT, helped with a lot of symptoms...but the CRAZY levels of anxiety, random heart palpitations and that constant feeling of internal buzzing (like I've been plugged in to an electrical socket!!) have turned me into someone I can't bare to look at in the mirror.
How do I turn this around? how do I get my confidence back? How do I wake up without crippling anxiety?
Please don't tell me to get a grip, I've heard that enough from caring family and friends.

Are you still having the anxiety, the buzzing feeling (I had that, it was the worst, I would lie in bed and feel like the whole bed was shaking), and the palpitations? If so, go back to get your HRT reviewed.

last summer I couldn’t even drive 20 minutes, I spent hours every day worrying about my kids dying, I couldn’t even watch my ds on a fairground ride because I was so anxious he was going to fall off and die. My heart would pound constantly and I really did think I was going to get diagnosed with something awful, I thought I was dying (but it was “just” health anxiety) - it was the darkest 6 months of my life. HRT has pretty much resolved all but the palpitations. I was lucky that my first try of patches has worked, but my dose has been increased. Once you get all that sorted it feels much more manageable to get everything else sorted.

no one will tell you to get a grip. It’s truly horrible and so many women are suffering. Go back to your Gp and tell them how you feel.

Mirtazapine and HRT have saved my life. I was like this but now this combination has worked wonders

HRT saved me.
I hope you can get heard and help.

I feel similar to what you've described when I have too much oestrogen. It's been through trial and error (lots of errors) that I've worked this out. I'm thinking of asking my GP to prescribe the 0.5mg sachets of Sandrena for me, as I don't want to guess what half a 1mg sachet is every day. I also wonder whether patches would be better, but I'm fed up of trialling new medicine.

Citalopram calmed things down for me x

I feel the exact same, except no HRT allowed due to hideous secondary breast cancer.

You may need an anti depressant such as sertraline or similar, to calm the system down.

Hope you feel brighter soon 🌻

Thanks for your replies, really appreciate it.

The buzzing feeling is constant-and yes the palpitations too. I'm back at the GP for a hrt review next week so I'll ask about the oestrogen (currently on three pumps, it has been increased twice to try to combat the anxiety but it feels worse than before).

@thenewaveragebear1983 The fear-yes, I completely understand this.

My anxiety seems to get worse the more oestrogen I use, if that is helpful at all. I didn't have anxiety before I started HRT and it's awful. Could you have an imbalance?