Going Mad

[jools70]

Menopause for 5 years, seen two specialist and gp currently on 4 pumps of gel, and 100 utrogestan.
nothing works, I hate the person I’ve become. Never rowed with DP, now that’s all I do. Accuse him of cheating because I’ve lost all my confidence. He is amazing and he has been so supportive but it’s getting to breaking point
I hear voices and constantly paranoid.
i’m no longer calm or patient and just angry.
Things I loved and enjoyed I no longer do.
How can hormones do all this.
It’s ruining my life.
i’m 53 love my DP still fancy him and we still have a good sex life but I constantly think he can’t be happy with me. He’s told me he hasn’t and never will cheat on me. Why do I think this. I have no reason to distrust him.
i’m so sad

Didn't want to read and run. Are you sure it's just the hormones? I'm 51 and find my confidence is struggling. I'm on HRT,which has helped my anxiety hugely, but not my confidence issues. It's a strange time of life, my kids are young adults and need me less, DH and I are thinking about retirement and I don't feel I know who I am any more! I did some therapy sessions a while ago, and it helped to talk to someone impartial. Something to consider?

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs - thank you x
We don’t have any children, it’s just been us, we have holidays together still go out for meals etc but I’m ruining things by arguing about everything. I question everything he does and it’s driving me mad. I was never like this. I even argue with my in laws and I never would have done that previously and been so disrespectful. I know this is not who I am.
i have seen two therapists and they give advice and listen change meds that they say to give 6 months or so to really work, but they don’t.
i know it’s hormones as I am a changed woman and I hate it so much.

Hi there that seems a lot of oestrogen and not a lot of progesterone. Have you tried taking the progestrone tab vaginally as does help as I felt so out of sorts and so low when taking it orally. Are you on continuous hrt as I feel so much more relaxed on continuous which you can change to if on hrt over a year as hormones more balanced.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants hi sorry but I’m not sure what continues HRt is.
i’m getting bloods done on Wed so will check levels and ask if they should change the med amounts x

Just feel like nothing works and I don’t want to lose my DP. It’s making me so depressed. I’m so awful to him and he doesn’t deserve it.

Continuous is where you take oestrogel daily as before but take utrogestrone daily at a lower dose with no break from it. If you have been on hrt for a year you can do this as keeps hormones more balanced but 3 pumps seems like enough with this amount of progesterone. I have been where you are and believe me it will improve as first time in years I feel normal and no periods which is great. Things will get better you just need a few tweaks to your hrt and good to get thyroid checked also and ask for antibodies check. Wishing you well.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants - I’ve been on Utrogestan for 18 months continuous and the estrogen pump for the same time at 4 per day.
Before that I was on a different HRT that didn’t work for me. Not been told to take a break for any of this but be on it every day?
is this bad advise from all the drs I have seen?
is that why I feel even worse than I did at the beginning? I just seem to be getting worse not better.
i no longer get hot flushes but that’s the least of my worries.
this is just a vicious circle.
will call my dr first thing and request an appointment, after speaking with you it seems you know more than the drs.
its so sad as it’s been ruining my life and if the drs are responsible for putting me on the wrong meds they have a lot to answer for!

just so angry about this

I would say that hearing voices and experiencing paranoia are not menopause symptoms.

That's not to say they absolutely can't be but are you sure there's nothing else going on with your mental health?

I had to do so much research myself as doctor refused twice to give me hrt in my late 40's & early 50's. Had to go to a family planning clinic which is a well woman center and doctor was great but did have to tweak hrt a few times. Please see a new doctor and write down questions and queries before you go and tell them about the paranoia but with anxiety you do get that. Things will improve and speak to your mil and explain to her as sure she will understand once you open up to her. Wishing you well.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants- Thank you unfortunately it seems a lot of women don’t all seem to go through this madness.
some women sail through, I have two sisters and they have not had any of the symptoms I’ve had nose my MIL.
DP as I mentioned has been so supportive however 5 years on and I’m getting worst.
i will call first thing and get an appointment, going to say it’s urgent as I feel it really is if I want to save what’s left of my life!!

Good advice here. Also exercise may be helpful? I really feel for you. Good luck.

Jools70 I have always had anxiety but the extreme anxiety had when in worst part of peri-menopause was just horrendous. Literally felt going mad and a shell of myself. You will get through this and as Galectable said exercise, even long walks, do some boxing will get the anger out. I never had anger but then again am single and could not have handled someone around me. Keep us posted how you get on ok xx

Thank you all it does help writing these things down and after reading posts on here knowing other women have had similar issues helps.
TabithaTwitchel - I had read that menopause and Schizophrenia can be linked so hearing voices could be down to this. I have mentioned it to the drs and they said ears are affected in the menopause.
I hope I can get the right meds soon that help me feel more like myself.
i hate this anger inside, it’s just so out of character for me.

I hear voices and constantly paranoid.

That's not a part of menopause I am familiar with. Rage, definitely, but vioces and paranoia, not so much. Maybe another chat with a menopause-savvy GP?
(A lot of them know bugger all about menopause, it's not even a compulsory unit in medicine)

Spoke to the surgery this morning, can you believe I can’t get an appointment, they asked me to call again next Monday when new appointments will be available for next month!!!
However they do have a menopause support group that’s recently been started, someone calls you to go through a questionnaire, then you join a likeminded group on Wednesdays, I’ve signed up for this week, also requested a chat with the pharmacy to go through meds. I had a blood test booked for tomorrow but it was cancelled - what is it with the nhsthese days!!!

You’ve got that right about most drs!! Even the ones who claim to be specialists

@jools70 When you eventually get to see your GP, don't discount anti-anxiety / anti-depressant meds. Although it was bloody wrong when women got fobbed off with them instead of HRT, they are a really useful weapon in the menopause armoury.

I was lucky enough to be prescribed HRT > 5 years ago but my anxiety, irrational rage, overthinking (borderline paranoia?), brain fog and other utterly shit symptoms had got worse in recent months and my mood was desperately low, despite the HRT. I did some reading and asked my GP for an SSRI. She agreed it was worth a punt and bunged me on Sertraline. All I can say it that it's been an absolute game changer and I wish I'd done it years ago. It did take 3 weeks to kick in but I feel like a different woman.

Menopause is the gift that just keeps on giving for some of us and I hope you manage to find something that helps.

The menopause or perimenopause can severely affect your mental health. I don't want to frighten you but it can bring on mental health conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar and psychosis. I'm definitely not saying that's what's happening to you but it might be worth discussing it with your GP.

I hear voices too but usually when I'm in bed relaxed. It's like snippets of conversation or sometimes I get names shouted right in my ear. It's not frightening. I find it quite amusing and often look up the names on Facebook to see if they're real people 🤣

I hope you get the help you need. It's bloody awful what some of us have to go through isn't it ❤️

fannyfiggs & California thank you both.
i had a group counselling session tonight and also my go has put me on Everol Conti continuous patches, The group session was good and I really went into everything that’s been happening.
i have just had enough and said there is only so much you can take.
the dr and ladies were very sympathetic.
i hope the patches work and the dr said normally she would ask that a patient give meds 3 months but she told me to give it 4 weeks if no improvement then book an appointment.
i feel better after reading your comments, and I had read similar items regarding mental health and menopause xx

I’m hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I read out these messages to my DP and it was good for him to hear these things.
we are both suffereing xx
thanks for sharing

Same for me. I had exactly the same symptoms and Sertraline + HRT have done the trick.

@jools70 that's great that your group session went well and it sounds like your GP has been supportive.

I honestly thought I was losing my mind at one point. HRT has definitely helped with the anger and mood swings but it took a bit of tweaking to get the dose and application right.

I'm glad we've all been able to help and I'm sure our DH/DPs understand how your DP is feeling.

I hope you feel more like yourself soon ❤️

Thank you, this gives me hope and strength xxx ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you hun xx. I’m so pleased I have found this site, it’s already made a difference ❤️

Good to hear you are getting some support and things will improve and good that your husband can hear we are all on the edge but it will pass so think of this in your lowest time. I am also on antidepressants and helps so much with anxiety and completely stopped panic attacks but have had anxiety since I was a teenager but did not have any help then as no one talked about anything. Wishing you the best and keep us updated and great to see so many ladies giving help to others on here and wish you all the best.