Finding it really difficult to rebuild work life during perimenopause

[SilkieChick]

Struggling today. I’m low and unmotivated and still in the throes of a career crisis. Lost my job last year and went self-employed, almost burned out. I have a new part time job to help with stability and income, but I'm worried I dislike it already. I can’t imagine having enough energy or confidence to make a success of anything at the moment tbh. I really want to move away from the communications type work I’ve been doing in-house and freelance and start my own gardening business but I’m worried it’s going to fail because I’ll run out of steam in a week.

I’m perimenopausal and on HRT, which is helping a lot of the time but in last couple of days I can sense the hormones have nosedived and I feel really flat and teary, a bit hopeless. I’m sure my mood will pick up again and I'll regain some enthusiasm, but I know it won't last. How on earth are you supposed to navigate a midlife/career crisis and build a new business or hold down a job when you’re on a rollercoaster like this??

I just want to lie in bed all day and read trashy fiction. I want to hide until I feel better. I know I’m distant with my family but I can’t start a conversation about this, DH really doesn’t get it and rarely asks about work or hormonal stuff (I suppose I don’t really blame him because I can be spiky about it). And I have no-one else to talk to - no close friends that I can regularly confide in. Feeling pretty lonely a lot of the time, and overthinking everything, which is a symptom of anxiety for me. I need to get out of my own head and pull myself together.

I don’t know why I’m posting today, just trying to get this out of my system and onto a page I suppose, and wondering if anyone else is going through similar.

Past peri and into full menopause and I'm just exhausted. I'm also cynical and jaded

I can 100% relate OP. I have a good career that I’ve worked hard for and I’m so incredibly bored of it all. I’ve started to look for other jobs in my field and in the process of applying have had to write about what I’m currently doing. When I write about my current role I’m like “OMG this sounds amazing, so many would love to do this, what is wrong with you? Why are you so bored?”.

I wish I knew.

I’ve found HRT to be a real rollercoaster. I’ve been on tablets for a couple of months and they were amazing at first but now my body has adjusted and the night sweats, brain fog, hot flashes are back with avengance. I’m struggling to sleep again and it’s all impacting my mood and anxiety,

I just can’t be arsed, which is tricky really as I’m only 41 and have another 20 years of being contractually arsed ahead of me before I can retire.

I don’t know what the answer is really. But you’re not alone.

I hear you, @YetAnotherSpartacus This new job, everyone's been saying how perfect it is, and I was hopeful initially that things would be different but already I'm thinking it's just the same shit, different organisation. I feel so cynical after the experience I had with my last employer 😔 I want to go it alone, but I can't find the energy...

Thanks @RedChester I know exactly what you mean - on paper I've snagged a great role, one that I think a lot of people would want or admire (although the salary is pretty low, which doesn't help motivation either) And I have made a little bit of progress with decent freelance contracts. But today I feel like I just CBA with any form of work, or anything really! I'm in my 40s too - am 46 - and zero chance of early retirement too, sadly!

I do have days where things feel creative and energising and fulfilling, but they're so few and far between at the moment - I just want to feel consistently NORMAL for a while 😩

Today I'm even wishing I'd stayed in the role I was in two jobs ago! It was a fairly cushy and undemanding but well-paid public sector role, mainly wfh. I could have kept my head down and just survived the menopause years then maybe moved on... aaaah now I'm just torturing myself... 😖

Luckily I didn’t suffer with peri menopause, but oh boy it bit me on the arse when menopause kicked in.

After struggling to get a progesterone that I can tolerate, the fatigue was destroying my life. After a test for testosterone it was found to be near non existent. Within 2 weeks of having Tostran gel it was as if a light had been switched back on, absolutely bloody fantastic.

I also know when my estrogen dips as I start to feel jittery again, I’m on estrogen patches, I usually use a 50 patch and currently have upped it to 75 and feeling happy again. I’m not sure if you are allowed to do this during peri menopause, but it does make a difference. You can also top up with an estrogen gel, but my skin is sensitive and the alcohol in it didn’t suit me.

Go back to a savvy G.P who’s up to speed with menopause, or if like me there isn’t one 🤦‍♀️pay to see a specialist. My specialist was the one who ordered the testosterone test, I’d suffered for a year of being so bloody knackered. It’s the best money I’ve ever paid, I’ve got my life back.

I’m perimenopausal and on HRT, which is helping a lot of the time but in last couple of days I can sense the hormones have nosedived and I feel really flat and teary, a bit hopeless

It sounds as if your HRT needs tweaking and maybe increasing.
What do you use now?

If you want to switch careers, can you afford to take time out while you retrain as a gardener? (Or do you mean doing garden maintenance?)

HRT is good but it's not a silver bullet.
How much other stuff are you doing, like exercise, healthy eating, all that sort of thing? It needs a 'whole life' approach.

I'm well post-menopause, on HRT but sleep was an is my biggest issue. I try to do a 3 mile walk most days and the days I don't, my sleep is worse.

@Snippit that's interesting - I hadn't considered testosterone. I do have a lovely and sympathetic GP although I'm not sure it's widely prescribed where I am (Scotland).

Still might be worth going to see her as you and @JinglingSpringbells suggest. I started on 50mg patches almost a year ago and upped those to 75 about 6 months ago after sensing the low moods creeping back in again then. Maybe that's what's happening again and I still need to go higher?

I don't have many physical symptoms but I'm noticing a really achey shoulder joint which comes and goes - and in fact was quite uncomfortable a couple of days ago when my mood started to plummet, I do wonder if it's linked with the drop in oestrogen - I'm a few days post-ovulation so I'm guessing that matches the timing of a hormonal dip...

And yes, I exercise regularly and am a sensible eater, I do think I'm tackling this from all angles, it's just still a slog isn't it 😣

Omg OP are you me?
I am also going through careers crisis in comms and want to spend the day avoiding this
Feel burned out
Just posting as you're deffo not alone

@pyrocantha I know quite a few other former colleagues in comms who are feeling really disillusioned and burned out - I don't know if it's a midlife thing, or a post-pandemic thing but neither of us are alone in that respect.

Sometimes I feel so tired of it, I never want to write another press release, I want to leave it all behind and do something completely different (eg horticulture, which I'm now qualified in). But then I also think that if I can use my skills and experience to work for myself, perhaps I'll find some enjoyment in it again, and it would certainly provide a better source of income.

In reality it's likely to be a blend of both... and I'm hoping that means I will be able to enjoy both lines of work with a better balance of creative and outdoor time.

That's if I can muster the energy and motivation to actually move things forward and make a go of it! It's a very start-stop affair at the moment, thanks to the peri shitshow. Hoping the hormones will kick back into life and give me a boost sometime soon...

I can't even be arsed to rewrite the post I just lost but.....same. 😜

I hear you! Fortunately I’m in a role which is less taxing than my Previous me as I was pretty much heading for full on burn out.
interestingly I had my work annual review today and we talked a lot about the menopause. I have a supportive manager that understands how menopause feels and work with a small team of similar ages so we are all going through it together.
this year I’ve actually not set any big work goals but just to get through it!!

I hear you especially the can’t be arsed feeling which some of comes from just seeing all the bullsh*t management speell before. Even my brother got to 45 and said he just couldn’t work for someone else anymore ..he retrained and runs his own business. So I think some is our age, along with a huge rollercoaster of hormones.
I run which helps me and cold water swimming

I hope you can get it sorted 😊. I’ve also started taking a supplement that seems to be helping me physically and cognitively for the last couple of months and I can feel a positive difference. I’m more cognitively alert and my organisation skills are better again, my energy levels have also improved. It’s called Neuromind.

I think I read a review about it, as I’d never heard of it. I was feeling like a cabbage and absolutely useless in life, I’m now multi tasking again and loving it, my husband can’t believe the difference.