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Menopause

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Getting cross with people

3 replies

Orangesandlemons77 · 07/02/2024 17:23

I think maybe menopause is making me grumpy. Or I'm just sticking up for myself more.

I've been ill with neuralgia from shingles and on some pain meds, also antidepressants and HRT.

I've been sort of looking after elderly MIL (she does have three children but seems to turn to me for jobs, coffee, etc) more so since her husband died a few years ago

Anyway she is always dismissive and rude to me about my health problems, saying things like 'everyone feels like that' or 'what have you got to be depressed about?' and now, with the pain, she keeps questioning if I am really in pain? and going on about poor Dh and what about the children? As if I am focusing on myself too much. (they are teens and quite independent, and I'm always there to listen to them and eat meals with them etc.

Yesterday things came to a head and she asked me about my health and started going on about 'what a shame' it was I had left my job 'such a waste' and stuff like that.

Also DH wants to go skiing next week and he is grumpy that I don't want to go.

I am cross that none of them seem to understand or be supportive, and instead seem to be blaming me for how I feel.

DH will say things like I 'can be ill when I feel like it' because I always cook in the evening, usually after a nap. He doesn't understand it is because I have had a rest I can do this.

I sent MIL a message cancelling meeting up later in the week and said I was upset at the things that were said about a 'waste' and 'shame' that people get health problems and it's not their fault, that I thought it was time we had a break from meeting up as I need to look after my mental health.

Do you think this was the right thing to do? She probably won't get it. I'm NC with my own mother and she could be like it as well. She didn't get it and sends me cards and letters about how her sister's son does the shopping for example, as if nothing has happened.

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons77 · 07/02/2024 17:25

Also, about the skiing, I'm not stopping DGH from going if he wants to, I wouldn't expect the whole family to go to e.g. a yoga holiday for example, just because I like it.

I don't ski, and end up sitting around with a hot chocolate in the cafe all day with a book anyway.

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons77 · 07/02/2024 17:26

DH, not DGH

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons77 · 08/02/2024 10:33

Bump? Or is it just me.

OP posts:
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