I'm not depressed but...

[MattyMatthew]

I am 51 and in peri menopause - I've always had really bad periods so to have very light bleeding every now and again is great and I don't have any other symptoms that are really bad - although the hunger and weight gain......

However, I just seem to want to be by myself. I don't want to go out and talk about the same old stuff, I don't want to go to parties and listen to other people. I just don't seem to care! I have let a lot of friendships go over the last 2 or 3 years and am completely fine with it. I am not depressed in fact I feel pretty good - is this normal?

Yes. The not wanting to go anywhere was a problem for me, so I went on HRT. Still haven’t managed to go on holiday yet though.

Holidays I'm ok with, I think. I just want to be alone doing my thing or with my husband and kids. Not unhappy at all.
I can't take HRT, unfortunately.

That started in my peri menopausal phase and it's continued as I've gone through the menopause! I absolutely love my own space, I always have. But I think it also stems from feeling forced into going to social situations when I didn't actually want to. I felt if I said no, I was being an antisocial, miserable bugger! But I think the menopause has just reinforced that ability, because I now have absolutely no problem saying, no, I don't want to go, or no, I'm not doing that. Which for me is great and very freeing! I have two close friends, that I don't see too often, so the whole situation is great for me and it sounds like it is for you!

I stopped drinking in peri, and I’ve no problem with others drinking, but I’ve no desire to go to pubs etc any more. I like putting my PJ’s on, getting cosy, then going to bed early to read.
Im trying to embrace making myself happy, rather than trying to do what others do.

Yes! I used to be much more social, especially when the kids were younger. But I never really felt like I fitted in completley and have never loved big groups but I think I felt I ought too. Now, I couldn't care less and I don't want to be around people who aren't 'real' - so much bullshit out there 😀

Welcome to the wonderful world of Not Giving a Fuck. You're all out of fucks to give.

I love it here.

It is very relaxing!

Exactly the same, I have no tolerance for bullshit these days! I can't be doing with the drama of it all... Give me my pj's, a cuppa and a bit of catch up TV and I'm sorted! There is a party coming up, one of the motorbike groups we were part of, at a pub, live band etc. I said from the off that I wouldn't be going, but I know, the nearer it gets, the more I'll be asked to reconsider... Happens every single bloody time! I've told him indoors that I am more than happy to drop him off and he can bus or taxi home. I have no issue with that, I just don't want to go! 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think a lot of women blame the menopause and peri for what is actually shit situations in their lives.

I'm 43 and had people tell me I was going through the peri-menopause. It is amazing how since my now ex husband left in the summer ALL of my peri-menopause symptoms have ceased. Brain fog, mood swings, tiredness and anxiety all fucking gone!

It sounds like you've been a people pleaser your entire life and just realised there is more to life now.

This is true. Although I realised I was a people pleaser a few years ago when I had something traumatic happen in my life and all those people I was there for/helped etc disappeared in a puff of smoke and I had to look at myself and realised I had made all the effort.

This is a new level of don't give a fuck. It is very liberating.

"And if living for myself is what I'm guilty of,
Go on and sentence me,
I'll still be free'.

This song by Diana Ross is called My Turn.
It's the anthem for women of a certain age.

This is me 100 per cent. The freedom and joy of saying “No” x

Mewtwoo

I wonder if the same thing applies to me. The perimenopause leaves me second guessing how I really feel or whether it is hormone induced. I'm beginning to believe it is how I really feel but daren't make any drastic decisions right now. Interesting to read your post.