Want to run away, or jump off a cliff

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Really struggling. Perimenopause still have reasonably regular periods, lighter than years ago. Always struggled with PMT, been on AD's for 15 years or so, unable to come off them, fluoxetine 20mg a day
Currently on Evorel 50, and utrogestan 100 x 2 a day for 12 days in 28 day cycle.

Last couple of months have been really struggling. Have a very high stress job (self employed, can't take time off) and narcisstic ex I have to 'co-parent' 8 year old with. But last few months I am not coping. I want to relocate to other end of country to get away from ex (I can't put any more boundaries in place, they are all there but he poisons our child against me subtly, and so far unsuccessfully). He will now allow me to relocate with DS, so am I thinking daily about just going alone and leaving DS with him. Failing that, I have various other plans of disappearing, and at times of jumping off a cliff, but no active plans of it, just it keeps coming in my head. An escape.

Any advice?

Firs, contact your GP as itsoundslike your AD isn't working. Also ask for a blood test to check hormone levels & make sure you're on the right replacement.

That's the medical side.

Awful as it sounds, moving won't solve the ex problem, especially if you leave your son with him. I know you say you can't take time off from the job, but is there any way you can have a change of scenery, maybe wfh remotely so when you end the day you are somewhere other than home & can go for a walk / meal / swim ?

Other than that I can only offer a handhold.

I felt similar about wanting to run away and I don’t have half the stress you have. I’ve changed my HRT and it has made a huge difference. I’m now on the tablets and the difference is astounding.

Please do go back to your GP, and don’t leave your child with your ex

I've just done an online consultation for GP appt

@RedChester what tablets are you on now?

No advice OP, but I feel just the same. I’ve been in peri for about 2 years. I started on ADs and I’m now on Evorel 75 and Utrogestan 14 days/cycle. I’m struggling so bad with anxiety, my main peri symptom. My chest is tight from the moment I wake up and feel like running away most of the time! I’m going to ask to go back on ADs as well as HRT because the anxiety is so bad.

I’m on Elleste Solo, which is just the oestrogen as I have a coil in for my progesterone. I think the Elleste duo is the one that has both hormones in.

I’m glad you’ve made an appointment. if you’re only on 50 patches then you could at least get the 75 or 100 ones and see if they make a difference. It’s so hard ☹️

Sounds like your hrt really needs increasing. 50 is still quite a low dose.