Anxiety - hope, hints and tips

[Allthroughthenight23]

Please give me your messages of hope! I need to feel that better days are coming. (I'd be really grateful for no hrt negativity!) I started hrt, evorel conti 7 weeks ago. I am 52. The hrt has helped with hot flushes, brain fog and I feel a bit brighter. However the anxiety remains and it is terrible. Now on 80 propranolol and still have anxiety. Have been on cilapram long term and it has recently been upped to 30. From advice on MN I've started magnesium too. I am well and truly fed up and want my life back. Does anyone have any advice, hints or tips of things that have helped? Please, I'm desperate.

Hopeful bump. Open to all suggestions medication, lifestyle or other. Hopefully we can share suggestions that might help us all.

What kind of anxiety is it you are experiencing? I have it too and am struggling to find a remedy. Also 52 and sick of it.

Hi @Sortmylifeout52 My anxiety is all physical. Feeling sick/nauseous, jittery, no appetite, can't relax, feel like my heart is pumping too fast, sweaty, hot and cold. I'm not worried about anything in particular but I feel like I'm stuck in fight or fright. What about you?

(Although I am worried that I will never feel normal again)

I think of the menopause (which I’m in the middle of) as like being knocked down by a car. Perhaps I’m using this as a comparison as I have actually been knocked over, in the past. A whole other thread.

It’s like being discharged from hospital after the accident. You need quiet, no stress, everyone off your back, less focus on work, your family to help you, good nutrition and exercise, all to recuperate. It’s going to take time, there’s no quick fix, it’s a work in progress.

You need to focus on Mind, Body and Soul.

You’ve got your medication for anxiety, but you could try mindfulness and yoga for example.

You need to make sure what is going into your body is good for your mind, and your body including vitamins and minerals. If you haven’t already, take up exercise. Running is brilliant for burning off anxiety.

I find studying, or volunteering/ doing something for others, distracts me from what is going on in me.

Finally, don’t beat yourself up, and give yourself time. I promise you, if you prioritise YOU and your health by making small incremental changes and improvements like above, you’ll wake up in a months time feeling better, and then in 3 months feeling like your old self.

Remember, your family love you, and they won’t like seeing you distressed, so don’t feel bad about taking time for yourself. They will all ultimately benefit from a happy you.

X

What I have found helps is no alcohol, exercise & better food choices. Also going for a walk daily. Boring I know, but rather that than be on edge all the time.

@TisTheSeasonToLebkuchen what a lovely reply. Thank you. You sound very wise and I will be re-reading and thinking about what you've said. I've always loved studying and that is something I've let go over the past few years. I agree that do need a distraction as I feel a bit better even when just reading a novel. I like your suggestion of small changes too in many areas as it seems so overwhelming when faced with the whole concept of 'getting better'.

This is a fantastic post. It really resonated with me. My anxiety was so crippling I nearly left my job. After 8 months on HRT and being gentler with myself, trying to eat right, to exercise, to do things I enjoy and it is back to only 1/10 or 2/10 even on bad days.

Hang in there, it will improve. X

Thank you @Offredismysister I actually went to the gym today to see if it would help, and maybe it did a little. I love a g+t but haven't felt well enough to have one for the past couple of months. I've always been reasonably fit and healthy, so finding it all so frustrating!

I can't really help as my anxiety lifted within 48 hours of putting my first patch on. It has come back a bit years later and I've mostly cut out alcohol now. Could you try a higher dose of HRT as a trial?

Oh @MissSmiley so pleased that you had such quick results with hrt. At this stage I would definitely take a higher dose but the doctor says to give it 3 months before reviewing. I have noticed a downward spiral when my patch is due to be changed so I do think that the hrt is working to a certain extent.

I didn't ask my GP I popped two on together after a few years just to see if there was any difference, I told her afterwards I had tried it. There wasn't any difference so I went back to 50

Has the anxiety just started recently? Do you think it is purely menopause related or a combination of other things too?

Thanks @MissSmiley and @Candleabra I've always been an anxious person so I've had episodes in the past, but this is just on a whole new level.

It’s hard isn’t it. Have you tried counselling/therapy to get to the bottom of the anxiety?

OP, I was in a terrible state 4-5 years ago. I've always been an anxious, highly strung person, and the peri/menopause just loaded it up full whack.

I couldn't get on a plane, or drive my car down the motorway, or sit anywhere for long periods of time without wanting to fight or flight. Usually flight.
I remember being on a lovely holiday and just sitting there really depressed and thinking everyone was better off without me. I also had horrible, intrusive thoughts. My marriage came very close to ending. My DH gets up at 5am, and I would be at the door of the shower telling him he didn't care about me, did he love me? If he went away, or stayed out late, or went to a conference with a female workmate, I would accuse him of having an affair. It was awful. I remember being in a hairdressers with loads of foils on, and I had a massive panic attack (being kept in the chair unable to leave) and I had to ask if I could go out the back to call my DH to calm me down. I managed to stay till they washed it all off, and I left and have never been back. I have a local hairdresser now, and for a couple of years I had to pop 2 propranolol just to be able to sit there whilst she touched up my roots. I still have to use propranolol to get on a flight otherwise I might jump up and run off.

I also had flooding, periods every 2 weeks. It was a nightmare.

I had HRT and a coil about 4 years ago. I've since dropped the HRT as it was the coil that sorted me out. It basically stopped my cycle. I don't know what is going on, as I haven't had a proper period for 4 years due to the coil. I am arranging a well woman checkup for the new year, and I may get some HRT and renew my coil. I think little things are creeping up on me again, mostly I have been kicking off and been angry apparently.

In the past I have been told that I am a nurturing person and that I did a good job with my DC and I take good care of my DH. I recently decided that if I am good at that, then I need to use those skills on myself. That is what I am doing now.

The best piece of advice I was ever given was from my late mum, who said "when you are stuck in a situation, do small things to prepare for when the door opens, and you can move swiftly". So, it may look like there is no way out of this, but there is. This too will pass. Do small things to help yourself everyday, even if you don't feel like it. It will collectively help massively.

We are here to help you OP. Tell us some of the things you like to do, what hobbies would you like to take up. Do you have family, any DC? What exercise do you like doing?

Thank you for posting. I can identify with everything you have said. The person I was has been replaced by a shadow person who is socially isolated and just existing. On paper I have it all, in reality mentally I have fallen apart. I could always pick myself up and come back step by step as other posters suggest. That has now deserted me, it sounds weak and victim like but I have nothing left to give. I hope you find your way back. Wishing you strength.

@Candleabra yes I've used counselling in the past, and it did help, I should look into that again thanks. @Ihateexcel23 so sorry to hear that you are feeling bad too. I totally get it. Fingers crossed that we both get some respite soon.

@TisTheSeasonToLebkuchen Your words are very encouraging, thank you. I like your late mum's wise words and will try to put them into practice. My own mum died many years ago and I would love to still have her around. So sorry that you've had such difficult times too. It's a horrible situation to be in. I am glad that you've found a way out of it and are looking after yourself. I like the simple things in life - reading, a nice coffee in a cosy coffee shop, walks, dinner out. I haven't been able to enjoy these things of late. I have a good family around me who are supportive and good kids who are young adults. I am very lucky. I usually work full time in the nhs (stressful job) but have been signed off sick. I'd like to get back to work but I'm really not fit yet.