Lost my identity

[Diversion]

I feel like I have completely lost who I used to be, lost my identity and I want it back. I am 56 and 2 years post menopause and it is absolutely rubbish. I had very little self confidence in my teens and twenties and it took until my thirties to find myself and now I am lost again. I have gained a significant amount of weight and have no willpower to lose it. My social life has taken a hit due to caring responsibilities, arthritis and the weight gain and I am struggling with the fact that I am actually getting old. I want the old me back. Any advice please?

Not really. It is what it is. Better than the alternative right enough.

Only that I feel the same as a peri 48 year old. It took me to my 30s to find my style and confidence and now I feel like a potato. I avoid mirrors now.

So if I'm understanding correctly, you're older, you've put on weight and you're not well. You would like to go back to your 30-year old self when you didn't have all these issues. I don't blame you.

Actually when I look back to when I was 56, I was really overweight, unfit and I lost myself too. It's taken a combination of diet, exercise, HRT and counselling to get me to the point where I can ask: Who do I want to be? I'm still on that journey.

I hope you find yourself.

I feel like this and I’m in my 30’s. I’ve actually lost weight though not gained but it’s due to the amount of anxiety I’ve had with menopause symptoms. I feel like I’ve lost my womanhood and no one seems to get that. Questioning everything and worrying abut everything it’s awful. You’re not alone

I'm 61 lovely and I do know how you feel- in last 5 years my teeth have gone to shit, I was 4 stone overweight and suddenly after covid developed all sorts of ailments. I've started with the things I can do for least cost, so now am 2 stone down , having vegetable smoothies, cut carbs and rattling with supplements, have spent more on hair, dress as well as I can - I think weight and supplements first! Small changes can make a difference.

I really know what you mean . I actually felt like I had been possessed it was bloody scary. I just couldn't explain it to people. I felt like I was slipping away and having a breakdown. Just a never ending list of symptoms and the anger and crying was off the charts. I started HRT just over a year and half ago and it was amazing . It didn't stop all the symptoms but it did stop the nasty ones which was great . I feel like myself again . I still get a little low but I'm able to cope with it. I really think HRT saved my life . I think without it I wouldn't be here now .