Feeling low and angry (+ no sex drive and furious husband)

[Ahumanjellyfish]

Hi,

Hoping to find empathy and solidarity.

• I’m mid forties on hrt and progesterone (progesterone for half the month taken vaginally)

I still have periods and I’m not sure if it’s pmt or progesterone but I feel tearful, really irritable and frankly in have an ongoing low mood with intermittent bursts of feeling fine. I’m bingeing on carbs.

I have children but husband wants sex more than fortnightly and now my whole existence is dependant on doing this - I look after him but I feel no desire - I’ve been accused of being gay, having an affair, not bothering and how would I feel if he has sex with someone else. I couldn’t bare being touched the other evening I have terrible pmt - and understand his disappointment but I have not heard the end of it. I have helped look after and contribute care of our own children and my step children. All is fine on our lives apart from this. Yet I suspect it will lead to a lot of sadness. I feel disgusted pretending to feel sexy. I feel blood awful.

I work part time in an nhs job. I’m never going to be able to cope on my own. I don’t want to only half half custody and only see my children every other week after I have been there every day since their birth. I want the best for them though. Help! Please tell me I’m not alone. If anyone has some logical advice I realise I’m a little emotional and lacking logic currently, it would be gratefully received.

Sorry you’re going through this OP. A few questions:

• did his ex divorce him because he is a twat?
• have you tried testosterone? You can get your levels checked at Superdrug I think via a blood test, then they prescribe it
• how old are your biological children? If over 11 they’d have more say over who they lived with if/when you divorced him
• would he even want the kids 50/50
• does he have any redeeming features?

You deserve sympathy and support, not threats and coercion.

I feel tearful, really irritable and frankly in have an ongoing low mood with intermittent bursts of feeling fine

Well, yes, you would feel like that with an abusive cunt polluting your life, wouldn't you?

This is nothing to do with perimenopause and no medication will make it better. Removing the abusive cunt, however - that would make you feel far happier.

Contact Women's Aid.

I feel tearful, really irritable and frankly in have an ongoing low mood with intermittent bursts of feeling fine.

Perimenopause is a bitch but obviously this is your real problem:

I’ve been accused of being gay, having an affair, not bothering and how would I feel if he has sex with someone else.

If you're truly not able to contemplate leaving this abusive marriage, your best option is to try to get your husband to go to couples counselling right away so there's a possibility he might start to understand how absolutely appalling his behaviour is.