Struggling - meeting with work to see how they can support me

[justteanbiscuits]

I'm struggling massively at the moment. Extreme brain fog, complete lack of any executive function. I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years back, but have coped fine. I'm on a massively long NHS waiting list, and my private medical insurance doesn't cover menopause or ADHD. Menopause has basically kicked every single ADHD symptom into high gear, with added hideous insomnia and restless twitching legs and arms (only managing 3 to 4 hours a night where I can't relax or rest). I'm on HRT, but 6 months between appointments as I am under consultant care due to other health issues.

My work are lovely, and very supportive. I have a meeting with my manager to discuss how they can support me. I already work from home, and my hours are quite flexible - as long as I get the work done, but I'm not getting the work done. I go to meetings and information just wafts over my head. I can't take information in, instructions make no sense, and I have no ability to self start. I've been in the role 3 years, and it was basically my dream job. But it's very much a self-starter job, where I manage and create my own workload.

I just don't know what I can ask for in terms of support. What adjustments would you ask for? Without finding the money (which I don't have) for private psychiatrist, I don't know what else to do :(

Any ideas? Suggestions? I'm the eldest female member of our team, and the first to go through this, so no one else has any experience!

I was struggling too - but no supportive employer! Luckily HRT has really helped me and I've found the right dosage for me quite quick - it sorted out the sleep problems which then seemed to help with the day problems. So I would say that getting the HRT right for you is likely to be of more help than psychiatry? Would they fund an appointment with a private menopause specialist doctor?

I don't think they'd pay for an appointment sadly.

I'm just at a loss as to how else they can help. I desperately want to leave and find a job that is a lot more structured, but I can't risk leaving and then being unable to a) find a work from home role, and b) be unable to take in any information about a new job.

Are you sure they wont fund it for you.

Im sure itnl will cost them more in the long run if youre not performing or they have to find a replacement

I’ve been told that the latest research about restless legs is that taking iron is the best treatment.

Would you consider trying meds for your ADHD?

I sympathise. I'm also peri-menopausal (been on HRT for 10 months) and it kicked my ADHD into overdrive. I also have long Covid (which has caused significant cognitive issues as well as left me with chronic fatigue) and the 3 health 'issues' together feel like some evil trio putting my career hugely at risk. I'm currently on sick leave (long Covid relapse) but planning my phased return to work. I suspect my employer has lost all patience with me so not sure if I will be managed out on my return. I'm trying everything I can to 'get better' and that includes having my first titration appointment later today.

Just to add, I've found that Trained by JP Dream Sleep (magnesium plus other minerals) taken with 50mg diphenhydramine (anti-histamine) has helped significantly with my sleep. I'm a lifelong insomniac (thanks ADHD!) but this helps more than anything I've tried (and I've tried a lot!).

For brain fog it's worth trying Co Q10 200mg x 3 times a day. If it helps, you will feel a difference within 48 hours. If there's no improvement in that 2 days, just stop taking it as it's not going to help you (advice given to me by a long Covid specialist cardiologist). It made a difference to me within a day. I'm not saying it fixes everything but there was a noticeable improvement for me.

I would honestly consider trying anything at the moment.

I have an appointment with the Bupa mental health line this afternoon, as they do cover mental health - but not if ADHD or menopause related, so need to try and get referral that isn't connected to either. I actually had a cerebral stroke last year, and what is so frustrating is seeing different consultants, but none joined up, so I have no real idea what is causing what.

I'm on iron for the restless legs, and magnesium too. Will look at the other supplements.

I basically just cried at my boss for 40 minutes. He's lovely and supportive and has told me to go and sit in the sun for the rest of the afternoon and not think about work. It's so frustrating when he asks what can they do to help and I honestly have no idea. All I know is I can't function.

Your boss sounds lovely @justteanbiscuits, at least that's good!! I'm pretty sure my job is at risk unless I can start functioning again 🙄

My first titration appt didn't go well. She refused to start me on any medication yet whilst I'm still waiting for some blood test results back from my GP (not related to my ADHD so wish I'd never mentioned them). She was very negative about ADHD meds and I generally found it a really miserable experience and feel quite low as a result.

Other things that have helped me a little are daily use of an app called Impulse Brain Training. It's helped my cognitive issues but also give me a dopamine hit. It was recommended to me to help with the ADHD. You do need to pay to get access to the useful stuff though.

Well, Bupa have been close to useless. Again. Due to having had depression and anxiety on my notes in the past, it's classed as a pre existing condition. They have offered me a list of websites that provide 'self help'. I do that for a bloody living! I've done self help for years, and it's only mindfulness that is keeping my head above water at the moment!

Can you you ask your GP to increase your oestrogen before your next consultant app?

I also have restless legs. Iron was the worst culprit and now I'm on magnesium glycinate two tabs before bed that keeps it under control.

I also never used to sleep, I now take magnesium, have a coil which made me instantly sleepy when it was fitted, am on 100 oestrogen patches and testosterone.

I was offered anti D's for very low mood but the thing that has made the most postive improvement to me is the testosterone.

I appreciate though that you also have the adhd which must make it so hard.

Can the consultant see you sooner? Call their secretary and try to get your app brought forwards?

My GP won't change my prescription at all :( And the consultant only has a clinic once a month - that was the first thing I tried!

Just all so frustrating. Though I did have a slightly better nights sleep last night (I tend to, once a week, when things are at breaking point!)