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Menopause

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Original poster

Anyone gone off their partner/husband because of menopause?

57 replies

Alicew00 · 29/08/2023 09:56

I've just had it confirmed I'm going through the perimenopause. The last week or so I've been put off by my boyfriend. I don't want to be touched or kissed. He annoys me. We have nothing to talk about unless it's to do with work or his childish jokes and childish behaviour.
I do get put off when he has bad breath because he didn't brush his teeth and when I mention he has something in his teeth he makes a joke about it and ignores it. I also can't stand when he's walking around naked. He has weird shaped body. He keeps asking if I'm alright and it drives me crazy!!
Could it be to do with menopausal symptoms? Will it go away

OP posts:
Wheresmemum · 31/08/2023 15:19

ShrinkingSusan · 31/08/2023 08:48

Everyone has different symptoms. Some people become sex mad.

Show quote history

If Brad turned up at my door wanting anything more than just a nice chat I would be slamming the door firmly shut and he would hear those locks and bolts sliding into place! 😂

FloweryWowery · 31/08/2023 15:23

Leave him again! Whether it's menopause or not, he sounds like a little boy with you his mummy. You can't stay with someone because splitting up will make him sad. He's not bothered about your sadness.

PhilMitchellsleatherbomber · 31/08/2023 18:13

Wheresmemum · 31/08/2023 01:57

This made me laugh! Thank you for that and I can totally relate! Although I would happily sit and have a cup of tea and chat with Brad, nothing more though!

Tea and a nice biscuit with Brad sounds perfect to me too! After I had finished watching my paint dry of course! 😀

herbaceous · 31/08/2023 19:25

Ha! Caitlin Moran was very good on this. She reckons that the oestrogen women are bathed in all their childbearing years is what enables us to overlook all the irritating shit about our partners, as we're drugged up to the eyeballs with hormones to make us caring and nurturing and not upsetting the menz in case they leave our babies out on a hillside to die.

Then when the oestrogen fog lifts the scales fall from our eyes, and we're all. 'I'm sorry what now?'. We don't go mad; we go sane.

I too can't be arsed with sex any more. But looking back it was always rather a chore anyway. Would rather potter in the garden, or wander round M&S. A nice cuppa with Brad in a garden centre would be perfect.

SilkieChick · 31/08/2023 21:08

smooththecat · 31/08/2023 02:13

I’m at a stage where if he turned up on the right day of the month, I’d do it. All the other days I’d tell him to piss off. Sex drive is basically a once a month deal for me.

I'm so glad it's not just me. There's a very, very small window of opportunity once a month and even that is diminishing I fear. I'm not bothered in the slightest but I am aware that it makes DH unhappy if we're in a dry spell...

As for irritability - yup, that's number one on my list of symptoms. The noise he makes eating cereal for breakfast makes me want to rip my ears off. The music he listens to, the wanting to know what I'm up to, him and the the kids asking constant questions and interrupting my thoughts all. The. Time. And the rest. I can 100% see why some marriages grind to a halt at this point, and why some women have real difficulties distinguishing between peri and legit unhappiness in their relationship.

Bookist · 01/09/2023 18:26

I only genuinely feel like sex for about three days per month. The rest of the month I am far more excited by the thought of any early night with a new book. I feel so sorry for DH though because he still wants sex most days. And I can totally understand how he feels because a few years ago my GP got my testosterone dose wrong. For a few months I really felt I needed sex every day. I once burst into tears because DH was delayed coming home and I felt desperate. It was like being shackled to a mad woman.

Newgolddream70 · 02/09/2023 11:40

Off to the garden centre later. I wonder if Brad will be there? 🤣

Wheresmemum · 02/09/2023 16:51

Newgolddream70 · 02/09/2023 11:40

Off to the garden centre later. I wonder if Brad will be there? 🤣

🤣🤣🤣 you never know! If you do bump into him enjoy the tea, biscuits and chat!

Original poster
Alicew00 · 03/09/2023 16:54

Yes I can barely have him touching me. He's so lazy too to the point my family are noticing. He didn't even do my child any breakfast when asked for some he just staying in bed. I'm sick of it. He wears half way down his backside like a teenager.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alicew00 · 03/09/2023 16:55

I pretended to be asleep when he came in from work last night too

OP posts:
Spudlover · 03/09/2023 17:06

This is me too and I’m strangely relieved by this thread. I am so angry and irritable all the time, and definitely not interested in sex. It’s just another job to do. I have started HRT so hoping this helps.

I feel sorry for DH as he’s walking on eggshells constantly but everything about him is annoying me. I don’t want to leave him, we have had a good life together, but I really hope this phase passes!

Sortmylifeout52 · 03/09/2023 17:36

Same, but I literally can't be arsed with life right now. I feel my time on earth is done. DD goes to uni soon, DS just wants to leave school next year and get a job. DP is indifferent to life in general and I'm literally dragging myself round each day.

My HRT is never right, I'm tired, bleeding, fibroid, tummy ache.

Gynae appointment on Wednesday, to hopefully find out why I'm bleeding.

Just had enough...

BabyStopCryin · 03/09/2023 17:38

I think peri. I’ve gone off everyone pretty much.

Sortmylifeout52 · 03/09/2023 17:39

Oh and theres still a pile of bloody laundry to put away, my car to hoover out and my lunch to make for work tomorrow!

BabyStopCryin · 03/09/2023 17:42

I’ve got 4 essays to write and a loaaaaad if practical to write up but I really can’t be arsed…

Sortmylifeout52 · 03/09/2023 17:44

Yes, that's another thing I'm meant to be doing.. looking at courses and jobs .. have had all summer break, but dragged down by hormones!

whatisforteamum · 03/09/2023 17:57

I think both are to blame in my case anyway.
Dh has a terrible temper since his heart attack ten yrs ago.
I used to pop shopping or be at work weekends as we had dcs.
Now they have long flown the nest and the thought of an overweight man who has to take viagra and be reminded to brush his teeth I would rather not.
I used to be so sex mad now I can't be bothered.
I have seen some attractive men a had some thoughts about them,I just don't have a sex drive anymore.
I try to keep fit keep a positive attitude yet dh just grunts or moans which is v unattractive.

emmama2 · 03/09/2023 17:59

I'm feeling like this and have been for a while. In the Pat 6 months been diagnosed mid 30s most things are a lot better on hrt apart from my complete and utter non fussed ness for sex. It feels like a chore and I overheat very easily.

Are others struggling to plan food/meals? I can shop fine but the effort to plan and cook is just not there.

Sortmylifeout52 · 03/09/2023 18:04

@whatisforteamum it might be that you do have a sex drive, but it's just not connected to your husband?

I'm wondering the same. I don't think I like my partners personality much these days.. we don't appear to be on the same page of life any longer.

Sortmylifeout52 · 03/09/2023 18:06

Yes the cooking effort definitely isn't there! Shopping is fine. Cooking is not fine.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 03/09/2023 18:13

I love my DH to bits plus he’s kind, handsome & very fit. I love the idea of sex with him but my body even though I’m on hrt including testosterone just isn’t fussed at all

it makes me sad as I had a very high sex drive when you get but now I just can’t

Theeyeballsinthesky · 03/09/2023 18:14

When younger even!

whatisforteamum · 03/09/2023 18:14

Sortmylifeout I agree different pages maybe a different book 🤣🤣

Mummysgogetter · 03/09/2023 18:21

This is me…. I find, not just my partner, but EVERYTHING utterly irritating 😠

Theeyeballsinthesky · 03/09/2023 18:25

I do find pretty much everything ejse irritating tho. The effort not to say what I think at work……