Anyone else feel like this?

[HippyPippy]

I’m posting as I’m really not sure if I could be peri / meno pausal? I’ve had the Mirena coil for over 15 years and am lucky that I have no bleeding with it.

I have felt completely lacking in motivation for the last year or so. I don’t feel unhappy or depressed- I feel indifferent, I am just questioning what’s the point in anything?

I have taken citalapram for many years for anxiety which has hugely helped and still take it. I also take vitamin D and B12 everyday.

I am lucky as I have a lovely husband and two sons (16 & 17) who are overall not very stressful (they were as younger teens!) and we all have a good relationship.

I am also lucky to have a job working with young children which I thoroughly enjoy.

From the outside I have a lovely lifestyle, no financial problems or major stresses like health problems which I know a lot of people have to deal with and therefore I feel I should feel far more grateful and blessed. I really have nothing to complain about. I therefore feel guilty for being so blasé about everything and this makes me feel bad. I should be enjoying my life but I can’t be bothered to do anything.

I did visit my GP last month who explained there is not a blood test available for peri or meno and as I wasn’t having any classic symptoms such as irregular or no periods, hot flushes or mood swings to just ‘keep an eye on things’.

I don’t have any friends and sometimes feel lonely. I find myself googling how to disappear and wonder why on earth I’m doing this as I have nothing I want to get away from?! Apart from that nobody would actually miss me apart from my immediate family. I feel confused and can’t remember anything!

Not sure if this is relevant but I had a seizure a few months back whilst walking the dogs in the woods. I was completely confused when I regained consciousness, luckily my husband found me as we have the find my iPhone and took me to hospital. I have since had an MRI scan which was all clear and therefore this was an isolated / unexplained one off episode.

So sorry this is so long, thank you if you’ve got this far. I am 50 years old.

Could well be the Peri-menopause op. I can't tick all the boxes you can but nevetheless life isn't essentially bad. I have a meh feeling about it all, a kind of despondency and what's the point attitude. Feeling at a loss really. I feel lonely, I only have a couple of friends and they aren't in regular contact. I am lacking a feeling of connectedness, some of it is real due to my situation but I think it is made worse by the peri.

I'm taking HRT. All it has done so far is taken the edge of the extreme anxiety I was feeling. Low mood but that could be due to life circumstances. Feeling stuck. Unable to make a decision and foggy thinking doesn't help. Add in low motivation. I'm hoping to take some sort of medication but it is up in the air at the moment.

No real help here op, just to say you are not alone.