Menopause mental health changes

[witham]

Hi,

First post.

I really need to know I've made the right decision supporting my long term partner (over 30 years).

Can the menopause cause a massive breakdown to the point where the relationship is just thrown away? My partner has probably been peri-menopausal for a few years now. Recently she's been pressured by a male friend of the family into flirty messaging, leading to promises or a much better life. She as met him twice, both times in a social setting. There has only been a quick peck on the cheek in terms of physical contact. It's been going on for a couple of months.

When I found out I could 100% see she was embarrassed, angry and just could not back down (together 30 years, we do know each other very well). I, gently, said what I though was wrong. That she may not be thinking straight. It's not her fault. And it was just a few texts in the end and we could work it out (not even a single naughty pic or any sex talk!!). Wasn't looking for a sorry or a help, just a nod then we could get help together. But she would not backdown, cam up with a very weak reason why she was leaving.

She booked a hotel, packed and went. And I'm absolutely positive he wasn't there with her.

The next day she went to see him. On the way to him she panicked, "came to" and rang me for help. She was going through a breakdown. I told her it was probably now over between us, but she still wanted me to help block him from her phone and tell him to stop constantly messaging. This wasn't a proviso of her coming back - I didn't think I wanted her back then. I was prepared to do that and help her get to somewhere safe.

So helped her block him, we went for a walk, talked things through. She admitted I was right (could not think straight and she claims she is scared and thinks she is like "Jekyll and Hyde" right now).

We went to the docs the next day (I didn't go in the room) and has been immediately place on HRT (waiting the prescription).

Am I being a complete doormat or soft idiot believing that it can do this? I've asked a few close friends but they're just taking my side and I don't know what to do.

I'm getting therapy now, and I also want her to talk to someone. I am trying to help without being overbearing but I don't know if I made the correct decision.

Anyone with any experience?

It can do this, yes.

It can also make the blinkers come off and cause them to reevaluate everything they thought they wanted in their relationships, and to recognise how much they've sacrificed for years.

Every woman is different.

Yes it absolutely can do this to women and I am dealing with and helping a family member who is suffering in similar ways since the menopause.

I also know a few women who have got to this stage in life and decided they aren't happy anymore so have taken steps to separate.

I'm not afraid of blinkers coming off and it's the end. I was prepared for that at the start of the week. Not happy at all about it, but sort of resigned to it.

If it really is a mental anguish type of thing I want to be with her to help. If not, I'll still help but probably want to be apart.

At the end of the day there's no way of knowing for sure. I'll see if the docs help starts to get her back to her usual sharp and brilliant self and take it from there.

Going through menopause with usual hot flushes, aching joints, and a lot of other things the MP can throw at me.... does anyone else break out in, what I can only describe as, hives.

It's red blotches, on parts of my body, legs, ankles and top arm ,( not all at once thankfully) they're like heatrash / insect bites like. No yellow heads on them. They get itchy but disappear after a few days.

But come back now and again.

I have read online that hives, these bite like things, can he a symptom of the MP.

Has anyone else come across this?