Perimenopause- Quit job?

[Flatpancake1]

Appreciate nobody is able to tell me what to do here but would appreciate insight, opinions and advice for anyone struggling with perimenopause.

I started struggling a few years ago, mostly with the psychological aspects but relentless exhaustion, aching joints, very heavy periods but mostly brain fog, loss of concentration (which is exhausting in itself constantly forcing myself to concentrate), low mood, tesrfulness and all these happen with the exception of the periods every day.

To cut a long story short, I changed jobs 6 months ago as my husband was made redundant. Went back to my nursing role in the NHS (was previously in private sector). I have gone back into a job where it is extremely stressful, no support, expectations beyond my job description and is a very fast paced role. My team have definitely noticed I'm constantly a bit off, but I work hard and perform but to the point I am unwell.

My GP has mentioned he can write me a FIT note so I can have adjustments made. Husband wants me to just leave and do agency/bank work so I have the flexibility and can pick and choose where I work (to a point) and I know this is the best thing..just leaving. My team are very cliquey/gossipy and not particularly nice people nor are they supportive.

My question is, what would you do? I'm working FT and I know reducing hours is not an option for them. If I leave and do flexible work how on earth do I provide my reason for leaving to the next employer without being discriminated against (likely to be a NHS employer). I could look for a less fast paced team, on less hours but I can rarely get short bursts of time off. Help, I'm stuck.

What have you done to relieve your peri menopause symptoms ?

If it would make you happier, healthier and less stressed - leave. You can always say to future employers that you left for a better work / life balance.

Get help for your symptoms.

I'm working FT and I know reducing hours is not an option for them. If I leave and do flexible work how on earth do I provide my reason

This is literally your reason. You need reduced hours and flexibility which is not possible in current role.

I also meant to say you don't need to give a reason for needing flexibility, reduced hours. Just say a better work/life balance

This.

I took redundancy from a job that wasn't compatible with family life. Didn't work for a year then went back into full time work in a busy stressful role with little support. I didn't realise it at the time but I was also perimenopausal. It almost broke me. My mental health got very poor to the point I was considering harming myself.

I was lucky my employer refused to accept my resignation and I ended up negotiating part time flexible working.

You've got the option of agency work. Grab it. Sorting out my work life balance and getting help with my symptoms made me well again in no time.

Thank you all so very much.

@DustyLee123 I have tried various HRT sources but to no avail with a few. I can't take tablets due to cardiac issues and the patches exacerbated it so now at the stage I am managing with lifestyle changes. GP has prescribed Promethazine as opposed to antidepressants, next stage will he Prozac which I'm not fond of. I also have started taking herbal supplements (waiting to see if they make a difference), exercise, sleep routine etc.

All the replies have really helped me see what is important.

I've worked part time for ages now as I physically and mentally cannot work full time anymore. I'm 60 this year, so I'm winding down. Be kind to yourself!

@DustyLee123 I have tried various HRT sources but to no avail with a few. I can't take tablets due to cardiac issues and the patches exacerbated it so now at the stage I am managing with lifestyle changes.

Have you tried gel and Utrogestan?

It sounds as if all you have tried are patches with Norethisterone as the progestogen which many women find gives side effects.

There is also the option o estrogen and the Mirena coil.

Maybe reconsider HRT and stick with trying to find one that suits.

Patches alone are just one you've tried.

Most GPs are pretty useless with HRT and if all you've tried/ been offered are patches, that's quite negligent of them.

Why weren't they suggesting other types?

Why hasn't your GP suggested the Mirena coil anyway to help your heavy periods?

My friend moved from matron level to senior nurse in a different Dept taking a pay cut but massive reduction in stress levels and switched to 4d week. She’s so much happier even in same hospital. Also late 40s so struggles massively impacted by delights of this age.
Do what you need to do to reduce stress, as life is too short and stress is a killer on your health literally. Also look holistically at your whole health try eating better, cutting down alcohol, exercise, meditation etc. I know it’s obvious but when you get stressed & tired all these parts suffer too.

I think the problem is the NHS, sadly.

I'd look on to going back to the private sector, or moving to a slower paced role (if they exist in the NHS nowadays).

Can you explore other HRT options? The Mirena coil has been life changing for me.
If you're not happy in your job, there's nothing to stop you leaving and taking agency work (assuming you can afford it - in terms of pay and pension). You don't need to give perimenopause as the reason. You don't need to give a reason at all. You just give notice. Your reasons are private.