It can be. But isn’t always.
Twice I’ve regarded my husband as the bane of my existence. He did nothing right and seemed to have “irritating my wife on purpose” as his main hobby.
The first time was after DS was born. It went on for a long time. But then he turned 4 and suddenly I felt like a fog (mostly made of sleep deprivation and being touched out) lifted from me. DH was back to being my mostly lovely (but every bit as imperfect as I am) husband again.
Second time was peri really taking it up a notch. Not long into HRT I was holding his hand again and choosing to be in his company. Which was a big switch from half planning to leave because there was nothing left between us and not being sure there ever had been.
We are all different. It turns out I’m basically a bag of flesh made to carry around some hormones. Hormones out of whack and the bag of flesh wanders off in some rather concerning directions. (I’m still quite shocked at how easily hormones got to over ride my values, beliefs, plans…. me, the entire foundation of me, who I am and what matters most to me.)
Other people will find that even once the hormones have settled the issues they perceived are still there, with knobs on.
Personally I’m deeply relieved my marital woes turned out to be (mostly) hormone related. I’ve watched several women in my family (some for good reasons and others perhaps not so much) exit a life built together and find the one they’re building alone is not quite what they had in mind. Or even better than the one they had. Having said that I also know women who have zero regrets. But some (not all !) of them give me this weird vibe that they are trying to convince themself, as much as they are me, that they jumped in the right direction.
However, I’m on the ride or die marriage bus for long standing personal reasons. Which will of course influence my perceptions and create a bias I can’t realistically calculate. So that has to be factored into all of the above.