Can’t find my libido or orgasms anywhere

[YorkieTheRabbit]

As the title suggests really. I’m mid 50’s been on Oestrogel and Utrogestan for around 19 months. They have got rid of the sweats and anxiety, improved my mood etc but for the love of god I can’t get my libido back and my orgasms are pathetic.
When I first started HRT several years ago I was on Femoston ,the doctor increased my dose as she said it would help. It didn’t, in fact, I ended up feeling shocking. So much so that after going back on to a lower dose for three months , I stopped taking it completely.

I have two pumps of oestrogel, anymore increased my migraines. I’m not due back at the doctors for several months and now the lovely Advanced Nursing Practitioner is been seeing has left, so I can’t phone to ask for advice.
That leaves one full time male GP who’s advice seems to be antidepressants for everything, the GP who increased my dose but freely admits she knows next to nothing about menopause and the another who is on maternity leave. The practice nurse is only young and also doesn’t have much knowledge of the menopause.
I just want my normal sex life back.
Is it possible, and if so, how?

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Watching with interest as I've been on pessaries, patches and utrogestron since January. Like you my anxiety is much better and although my libido did initially improve after a few months, it's back to virtually zero again.

Testosterone did it for me. It can be tricky to get and it doesn’t work for everyone but for some of us it’s transformational.

The route is

• your oestrogen has to be optimised (sounds like yours is)
• it’s not licensed so the gp has to prescribe it off licence. Some won’t, or need a bit of a think, many will
• it can only be prescribed for loss of libido.

I suspect the GP who responded well last time is the one to go for. Go in knowing your stuff - there’s a facebook group called Totes Merry Peri which has a good guide to how to ask GPs for HRT.

@LadyGardenersQuestionTime Thanks. I’d be interested in hearing more about testosterone. I haven’t a clue regarding the GP’s to be honest.
The person who knew most about the menopause and was great to talk to, was an advanced nurse practitioner and she left at the beginning of May.
As one GP is now on maternity leave, there are only two left and the female doctor most definitely has no clue, she actually joked that the receptionists probably knew more about the menopause as they were older .
I'll need to do some research.

I have the same problem, 50 and 2 years post menopause, all sex drive gone. I am taking oestrogen gel, but probably not enough - just one pump a day. I’ve just had a breast reduction, I know have much smaller boobs an want to keep them that way, my surgeon said that high does of oestrogen will Mack my breasts get bigger 😟

I agree with the poster who suggested testosterone. I think if HRT alone doesn't improve your libido, testosterone is the way to go. You may have to go private to get it though.

I’ve been looking online and apparently Superdrug, of all places, actually sell it. There’s a test kit which has to be used first, that checks if the testosterone levels are low. If they are, you can then buy it. I’ve definitely got to do some more research into it before buying any.

Really the doctors should be the first place I’d go but as they are short staffed, getting an appointment isn’t easy then there’s lack of menopause awareness, so unfortunately I’m not sure there’s much point.

Following with interest. My libido is shocking too. Did you try the testosterone test?

I’ve been prescribed testosterone through an NHS menopause clinic, I’m 52, it’s made a big difference!!!

Testosterone works. I have been using it for the last couple of years and it’s made a massive difference. First I had to get it prescribed by the menopause specialist, but now it’s just on repeat prescription from my GP

Genuine question but have you had any side effects? I'm worried about excess hair or mood changes.

As pp above, I'd be worried about the side effects of testosterone. Anyone have any first hand info?

My libido went missing after 2nd DS and I didnt open up to DH about it. I wish I'd have known 2 things - testosterone and 'Responsive Vs Spontaneous Desire'

I've been prescribed it through a private specialist, but she told me I need regular blood tests with it, which I haven't set up yet.

I’ve been on testosterone 6 months now, it’s all positive, increased energy and libido. Absolutely no side effects at all.
The advice I was given was to try it, if you get the side effects you can stop.

I’ve had two blood tests, the first, my levels were slightly high, so I reduced the dose, the second test showed the levels were fine

There is more research coming regarding menopause and testosterone and a b ig push for the NHS to change the way they prescribe it for women. Its all about libido for them when testosterone has other uses for our bodies, focus, concentration, muscle building etc I was put on it after my oestrogen was optimised, privately, and probably had a bigger effect on me than estrogen did. I can exercise again regularly, my focus and concentration improved and my body shape responded well too I think.

It is hard to get prescribed on NHS even if your libido is low, it will depend on your local health board and what they've decided. Again, that is changing, I wrote to mine who are reconsidering it.
You need to test before and then 3 months after going on it, then yearly. This checks that you do not have too much and that will mean no side effects you do not want. They only happen if you have too much. You may get a little increased hair growth on the area it is applied- I did not. I am on the standard dose and it didn't increase mine very much at all, I was quite low. Also remember if doing tests that they go by 'free testosterone'. or your FAI- free androgen index. Which comes as a percentage. If you are on certain medications, they can increase your SHBG which lowers your free testosterone, so if you have a thyroid condition you should especially check testosterone.

No side effects here - I feel great!

At my first test a year after starting, my levels were slightly raised. So I lowered dose. Then ability to orgasm dissapeared again, so the consultant OK'd me increasing the dose, thank god!

I’m post menopause by about 7 years and no longer need systemic HRT (I do use oestrogen pessaries twice a week for genital dryness and itching). My libido has disappeared. Happily, in the sense that we are well matched, so has my husband’s (aged 70). We both mourn the loss though, as we still fancy each other and used to have such a great time. My orgasms were weak for a few years, but they are much better these days (I have enough oomph for a quick one by myself). They are still not a good as when I was younger though 😔

You need testosterone.

My ability to have 7 or 8 orgasms in a row (with the first couple being absolute whoppers), disappeared. My poor husband was having to work so hard to give me one.

I now have Tostran gel and all is back to normal. Thank goodness! I had to go to see a bloody gynaecologist for the script though, which was a nuisance. But now I’ve gone that, my GP is happy to prescribe it. I’ve never had to have a blood test.

I have wondered if I need testosterone but my blood test showed it was in range. Does it have to be below range to be prescribed/make a difference?

What dosage is everyone on for testosterone?

I've been on it for several years now and it doesn't seem to have helped at all, as I still have no desire to have sex and struggle to get turned on at all.

I do a pea-sized squirt every other day.

Testosterone made no difference for me 😩 Blood tests then showed that my levels were high so I stopped.

Was drawn to the thread because my orgasms are crap. Kind of muted 😩