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Menopause

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Can’t work out if these symptoms are all down to perimenopause, older age, stress or just life?

47 replies

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 19:38

I’m now 50 but for the last 5 or so years I have been on a steady downward decline in my mental and physical health.
I can’t work out if the issues I have are actually down to perimenopause because I actually still have a cycle and have minimal hot sweats (although I have always been a super chilly person so not sure if that makes a difference) or if the fact I’ve had lots of family stresses, a death in the family and caring for a parent with dementia has a lot to do with it?
I have seen several GPs regarding this and they have put everything down to anxiety and won’t acknowledge that I may be in perimenopause despite my age. One even tried to put me off HRT by printing off some literature warning of the breast cancer risks.

So I am at a bit of a dead end. I can not afford to see a private menopause specialist and so am coasting along feeling like shit every day.

These are my symptoms, could most or all of these be caused or made worse by my hormonal system?

Anxiety - I have had anxiety most of my life but hitting my late 40’s seemed to unlock a level of anxiety I have never experienced before. It’s relentless, overwhelming and much worse during the first half of the day, I wake up feeling dreadful and feel shut most most mornings. I feel so low, cry at the drop of a hat and am spiralling into quite a depression

IBS and upper gut issues - again, something I have suffered from for several decades but it’s been super bad these last few years. Despite endless tests via gastroenterology all has been put down to IBS and functional dyspepsia. I have a bad tummy every day, nausea, acid, gurgling, bloating and gas. The symptoms even wake me during the night. This is one of my biggest issues and is very much getting me down but nothing I try helps (on a low fodmap diet, take IBS meds and meditate etc)

Sleeping issues - I am often woken by my tummy but also woken because I’m hot, or because I just don’t sleep deeply enough anymore, I wake so easily. I often wake from 3am - I’m knackered a lot of the time.

sore and dry I am often sore and dry down below and have what looks like a paper cut down there which flares up throughout the month and can be quite sore and itchy. I also have zero libido.

very dry skin dry skin all over unless I moisturise every day.

Periods up until last year I had very heavy periods, so heavy I ended up needing an iron infusion and uterine ablation. I now have a tiny light period which is every 28-30 days so obviously still having a cycle.

Aura migraine I suffer from aura migraines, not so much the headaches but the visual issues, these became worse since hitting 45 and have always been during my periods so must be down to hormones. Not sure if this means I could take HRT or not as I’ve never been allowed to take the pill due to the stroke risk.

Of course, none of these things could be down to the menopause and maybe lots of these symptoms are related to the amount of stress I have been under for the last few years and according to the GPs I’ve seen I’m not yet ‘there’ as my cycle is the same but I can’t help but think that surely I must be somewhere there? My mum was about my age when she went through it but she has Alzheimer’s so I can’t ask her but I do remember her being very low with awful anxiety and crying a lot at that age but she also lost her mum at 48 so I had put it down to that but who knows now?

Can anyone relate to these symptoms? Where they part of your menopause symptoms and what help you? The GP just wants me on antidepressants which make my gut issues so much worse.

OP posts:
Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 19:41

Should also add that despite walking the dog for an hour or two every day I ache so much. Hips ache, lower back aches, legs ache. And my muscles have turned to marshmallows when not too many years ago I was quite firm! However, if I try lifting weights or doing yoga/pilates I end up aching even more and for weeks and weeks after.

OP posts:
WonderDays · 10/06/2023 19:43

I would give HRT a go if I was you.

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 19:44

Sorry, another add - my poor mum never took HRT and at 80 has a pacemaker, is bent over with osteoporosis and as mentioned has Alzheimer’s so I am obviously keen to do all I can to reduce my risk of these awful disease which has affected my lovely mum.

OP posts:
Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 19:46

WonderDays I won’t lie, I was put off by the GP who printed off the breast cancer risk to me last year, she seemed hell bent on putting me off hrt but I don’t want to keep feeling this way anymore. How do I get them to take me seriously and stop offering bloody antidepressants?

OP posts:
WonderDays · 10/06/2023 19:47

You say I’m 50, I’m experiencing numerous peri symptoms and I’d like to try HRT as I don’t want to feel
like this anymore.

SpringOn · 10/06/2023 19:48

HRT. Ask for another GP.

Resolved most of these issues for me. Though I didn’t have the gut ones.

All the best, is awful. Anxiety lifting for me was first and made such a huge difference. The rest followed. X

chopc · 10/06/2023 19:48

Ask to see another GP who has a knowledge of menopause and it's symptoms. If there are oK contraindications for HRT, you can have a trial of three months to see if it makes a difference. Be insistent. You are in charge

WonderDays · 10/06/2023 19:49

My friends have also tried low side antidepressants with the same symptoms as you and they have worked but by the sounds of it aren’t suitable for you. Others have had antidepressants for a year and then switched to HRT.
I went straight in the HRT.

Endlesssummerof76 · 10/06/2023 19:49

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 19:46

WonderDays I won’t lie, I was put off by the GP who printed off the breast cancer risk to me last year, she seemed hell bent on putting me off hrt but I don’t want to keep feeling this way anymore. How do I get them to take me seriously and stop offering bloody antidepressants?

It's disappointing that some GPs are still reeling off this shit which was based on old data from the WHI study. Not all women are suitable for HRT but you need to have a proper discussion about your individual risks and benefits with an informed healthcare provider before making a decision.

WonderDays · 10/06/2023 19:50

Sorry that should say low dose.

MotherOfCatBoy · 10/06/2023 19:54

They nearly all sound like menopause. Go to another GP!
I got to a point suddenly when I couldn’t sleep and it was driving me nuts. Went on HRT for two years. Came off eventually but much better now and thankfully sleeping like a log, 3 years post meno.

Worldgonecrazy · 10/06/2023 19:55

The problem with the medical establishment is that every ailment in women around our 50s gets blamed on menopause. Having said that, HRT would rule out the menopause if symptoms still persisted.

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 19:57

WonderDays the gp who printed off the bc warning has gone on mat leave so hopefully her replacement will be a little more sympathetic. I have tried several antidepressants as some of my friends had success with them but I couldn’t get past them exacerbating my tummy problems.
SpringOn Although I will never be 100% free of the gut issues, I think the anxiety has exacerbated it to a point that I can’t get it under control. Hopefully, if I can level the anxiety the gut issues might dampen down.
chopc I did ask the receptionist if there were any GPs with menopause knowledge but apparently there aren’t any at the practice but I’m hoping my GPs replacement (GP on mat leave) will be more understanding.
Endlesssummerof76 the last GP seemed so dead set against hrt. She’s only around late 30’s and I couldn’t help but think ‘just wait love and see how you feel in 10 years time!’ I am hoping her temp replacement will be better informed.

OP posts:
newname642 · 10/06/2023 19:58

It sounds like you need Ovestin cream (very low dose vaginal oestrogen) for the dryness down below.

newname642 · 10/06/2023 19:59

As well as HRT for your other symptoms.

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 20:00

MotherOfCatBoy I long to have a full, uninterrupted nights sleep. I can’t remember the last time I slept through.
Worldgonecrazy I suppose that is my niggling concern, what if most of this isn’t menopausal issues and just every day life stresses?

OP posts:
mirages08 · 10/06/2023 20:01

You definitely need estradiol pessaries!
You gave vaginal atrophy

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 20:01

newname642 I did wonder if I should try that first then trial some hrt?

OP posts:
Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 20:01

Thanks mirages08 I will definitely ask about that.

OP posts:
newname642 · 10/06/2023 20:08

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 20:01

newname642 I did wonder if I should try that first then trial some hrt?

it sounds like you need both, but the ovestin cream should give you some relief pretty quickly.

Oblomov23 · 10/06/2023 20:10

Why are you so passive? Stand up for yourself and say no, thank you, "You say I’m 50, I’m experiencing numerous peri symptoms and I’d like to try HRT as I don’t want to feel
like this anymore.", exactly as WonderDaus suggested.

Theredfolder · 10/06/2023 20:19

Oblomov23 Because my symptoms and the shit currently going on in my life has worn me to the bone and I have zero confidence anymore, so when a GP says my issues are not peri and prints me off a form explaining the risks of bc with hrt after I’d tentatively asked if I could try it and then appears exasperated with me, I just take the leaflet and shuffle off. Yes, I am passive but I’ve got no fight in me and I should not have to fight and battle with a healthcare professional who should be there to help and advise but there you go!

OP posts:
EyelessArseFace · 10/06/2023 20:20

Worldgonecrazy · 10/06/2023 19:55

The problem with the medical establishment is that every ailment in women around our 50s gets blamed on menopause. Having said that, HRT would rule out the menopause if symptoms still persisted.

Actually, I'd say that it is entirely the opposite, and that the combination of a whole bunch of menopause symptoms are put down to the patient suffering from depression, and treated as such.

The irony is, no wonder you feel depressed when you feel absolutely shit all the time!

EarringsandLipstick · 10/06/2023 20:30

OP, I would nearly guarantee that a few days on HRT will see an improvement in many of these symptoms.

One of the worst for me was sleep. I was exhausted, fell asleep fine but never slept deeply, and my FitBit would show endlessly disturbed nights. I thought I would die from the tiredness - and for most of my life, I was a) a night owl b) insomniac c) needed little sleep. But this was hell on earth. Within 2 days on HRT I had decent sleep again, I cried I was so happy.

I have all sorts of shit going on in my life so sleep can ne challenging but the quality of my sleep is a billion times better

The aura migraine is something I also suffered from, I was on a prescription to deal with these but since HRT, 18 months now, I've had 3 migraines only - compared with at least 1 every 6 weeks before.

I'm sorry your GP was so poorly informed & shocked that she's still peddling the breast cancer risk nonsense.

Please go back & insist on HRT.

EarringsandLipstick · 10/06/2023 20:33

@EyelessArseFace

I agree. My usually-excellent GP was initially poorly trained in peri/menopause issues. She kept telling me my symptoms were due to being a single parent, abusive ex & busy life.

It's also a vicious cycle. All the problems I was having were made worse by my peri symptoms. Once I went on HRT, I had her energy & ability to deal a bit better with everything.