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Menopause

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Original poster

Anti depressants

27 replies

HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 12:49

Not sure where the right place is to post this but pretty sure it's menopause related. Have been on HRT for years and it definitely helps. But certain times of the month I have what I can only describe as a flat feeling, like there's no joy in anything. Feel almost depressed. What's triggered it this time I think is that DD was home from uni for a few days last week and now she's gone I just miss her so much and feel depressed that she doesn't live with me any more.

I have a good husband, nice life, no real money worries, have nice holidays, but sometimes I just feel so down. I wonder if anti depressants would help as well as the HRT.

Can anyone identify with this, and have anti depressants helped?

OP posts:
Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 13:37

Bump

OP posts:
CeciNestPasUnPipi · 10/04/2023 13:41

I think that "feeling down" is part of the human condition, and I think that we're often very quick to medicate something away that is dealt with either through patience, grieving, or another method.

(Caveat: this, of course, is different from the kinds of intractable forms of depression that need stronger interventions.)

CeciNestPasUnPipi · 10/04/2023 13:42

What about therapy? Very often what presents as 'depression' is something else underneath that needs addressing, and in your case I'm wondering if it's coming to terms with a different life stage that has loss at its centre.

JinglingSpringbells · 10/04/2023 13:58

I agree with @CeciNestPasUnPipi

I feel depressed that she doesn't live with me any more.

Maybe you could change 'depressed' to 'unhappy' or 'sad'?

These feelings are not an illness- they are part of life.

Everyone has something that makes them feel this way for some of their life. But it doesn't warrant medication.

Why not explore new hobbies, doing things that make you happy, looking at maybe helping other people (volunteering) as you sound as if you don't have enough in your life to distract you from these negative feelings.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 14:05

Hmmm ok.... It's difficult because I've felt flat for a very long time. I work, exercise most days, have a fairly busy life but it all just feels like the shine has gone out of life.

OP posts:
JinglingSpringbells · 10/04/2023 14:28

HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 14:05

Hmmm ok.... It's difficult because I've felt flat for a very long time. I work, exercise most days, have a fairly busy life but it all just feels like the shine has gone out of life.

Two possible options

Consider your HRT dose- if it's been the same for years, you may need more estrogen.

Maybe invest in some counselling to explore what you mean by the shine has gone out of life.

What's changed? What's missing? Are you bored? Unhappy in your relationship (if you are in one)?

The first line therapy from GPs now is therapy anyway, not drugs, so you need to try talking to someone about how you feel.

ssd · 10/04/2023 14:51

The shine has gone out because you are missing your dd and getting older. People are far too quick to medicate normal human feelings.

dimpleton · 10/04/2023 15:13

I feel the same OP.

I've got the mirena coil plus oestrogel, which seemed to help with the anxiety and some other side effects I was having. I am still very low though, and cry most days. I find my DH almost intolerable but I can't work out if it's him or me.

Continueasweareormakeachange · 10/04/2023 15:17

Yes, I can empathise. I have real black times although had never been depressed pre peri. On HRT now but it's not preventing the bad days. During these it feels like there's no point in anything anymore which is a worry.

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 10/04/2023 15:22

Upping my HRT, and oestrogen particularly, really helped with my "flat feeling" (exactly like yours). It was creeping back and the GP upped my patches from 25 to 50 (so still not very high) and it made a massive difference. Maybe worth considering?

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 16:44

Thanks for the replies. I started on two pumps of gel and upped to three. Have tried four but was waking up with hot flushes in the night so reduced again.

It probably doesn't help that I don't ever sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. Am constantly tired.

Good to know I'm not alone. Was talking to a friend who was put on ADs on top of her HRT so thought it might be quite common.

OP posts:
JinglingSpringbells · 10/04/2023 17:38

HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 16:44

Thanks for the replies. I started on two pumps of gel and upped to three. Have tried four but was waking up with hot flushes in the night so reduced again.

It probably doesn't help that I don't ever sleep for more than 3 hours at a time. Am constantly tired.

Good to know I'm not alone. Was talking to a friend who was put on ADs on top of her HRT so thought it might be quite common.

After your update, it sounds as if your sleep issue is the root of your mood.

Have you thought about doing anything to help? Look up gut health and sleep, and maybe doing something like yoga, mindfulness, meditation etc might help.

I'd also think again about the dose of gel- upping it ought not to increase hot flushes- quite the opposite.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 17:51

Have tried all sorts over the years to sort the sleep issues and it's better than it was. It's not getting to sleep that's the issue, it's staying asleep and the quality of sleep.

Maybe I should try 4 pumps again. But I read somewhere that you can have too much oestrogen.

OP posts:
dimpleton · 10/04/2023 18:28

Well I've decided to go from two pumps to 4, and see how it goes (doctor gave me the go ahead to do that ages ago but for some unknown reason I didn't bother)

Why not try it as well OP and see how it pans out?

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 18:51

dimpleton · 10/04/2023 18:28

Well I've decided to go from two pumps to 4, and see how it goes (doctor gave me the go ahead to do that ages ago but for some unknown reason I didn't bother)

Why not try it as well OP and see how it pans out?

I'd probably try three first if I were you. You can definitely have too much oestrogen. Why would you jump from 2 to 4?

OP posts:
CeciNestPasUnPipi · 10/04/2023 21:10

I still think you're a candidate for counselling or therapy. Midlife is a critical juncture in the psyche, and is often a time to deal with our unattended-to business, including the business of facing getting older. A lack of sleep can certainly be part of this.

menopauseadventurer · 10/04/2023 22:02

I am new to HRT but, on the sleep front, I find that taking Utrogestan really helps my sleep. I don't know what kind of HRT you are taking at the moment but people on these sleep threads seem to only seem to mention oestrogen in relation to this but when I was on sequential regime the oestrogen only weeks I wasn't sleeping so great (though very cheerful) and the weeks I took utrogestan I slept like a log. Too much in fact. But now I'm on a slightly different regime I'm sleeping very well. Might be worth exploring the different HRTs and regimes from a sleep point of view?

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 11/04/2023 05:38

Yeah have already tried lots of different HRTs - am 5 years into this. I take utrogestan daily. And yet here I am awake at 5.30am and unable to sleep.

OP posts:
dimpleton · 11/04/2023 06:09

I'd probably try three first if I were you. You can definitely have too much oestrogen. Why would you jump from 2 to 4?

When I spoke to the doctor a couple of years ago about it not helping my symptoms, that's what the doctor suggested 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 11/04/2023 06:13

dimpleton · 11/04/2023 06:09

I'd probably try three first if I were you. You can definitely have too much oestrogen. Why would you jump from 2 to 4?

When I spoke to the doctor a couple of years ago about it not helping my symptoms, that's what the doctor suggested 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fair enough, just feels like a bit of a jump but I'm not a doctor.

OP posts:
Oblomov23 · 11/04/2023 06:31

Is it hormonal? Is it the same time every month, or every 3rd week. Plot it and see.
Is your dd your only? Why are you missing her that much that you can't enjoy anything? That's not good. It seems an ott reaction. Do you need some counselling? To address why you are relying on her, others so much?

LBFseBrom · 11/04/2023 06:44

You poor soul, I sympathise.

I have to say I was always inclined to depression and anxiety. I'm in my seventies now but did go on HRT for a while twenty odd years ago. It actually exacerbated my depression and I had migraines whilst on it (I had had bad migraines when on the pill years before) so stopped taking it. I only started because at the time I had a demanding job and did not want to have debilitating flushes at work. However though I did have flushes they weren't that many or that bad. I was better for not taking HRT and my bones are fine (I know this because I had a couple of accidents in the last few years - no bones broken - resulting in a thorough overhaul in hospital and was told so). I eat very well, don't drink alcohol or smoke, and take recommended supplements.

Regarding antidepressants I was prescribed so many of them years ago and they never helped, what's more the side effects were terrible. I would not touch them now, I can manage myself.

Life is never easy all the time but most of us get through. It is hard when our kids fly the nest but we have to live our own lives which can be enjoyable.

Good luck, op.

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 11/04/2023 06:48

This is the thing, I've never had anxiety or depression before I hit late 40s. Been reading up on anti depressants and think probably best to avoid. May try upping the gel again but God knows where I'll put 4 pumps - takes long enough to dry with 3.

Yes she's my only - split from her dad 13 years ago and we're very close (she doesn't see much of her dad but that's a whole other story).

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 11/04/2023 07:22

Perimenopausal symptoms do not last, Handbags. I've no idea what you mean by 'gel', my HRT was in tablet/capsule form but that was a long time ago, I'm in my seventies now.

Your depression could be reactive, you miss your daughter being around. It is a huge change when they leave the nest. However she is still your daughter and will always be in your life. You actually have a lot to look forward to.

Do you have an interesting job? That does help. So does going out and having a life, not to say a laugh, sometimes.

Keep yourself physically as well as you can. I'm sure you will be fine before too long and far wiser for these experiences.

Onwards and upwards!

Original poster
HandbagsnGladrags · 11/04/2023 08:54

Oh I'm way past peri - I'm 53! And your body never starts producing those hormones again so yes those symptoms can last for a years and years in some people.

Gel = Oestrogel (a form of oestrogen).

I do know I have a lot to look forward to. Trying to start the day afresh and focus on the positives but it's not always easy.

OP posts: