My partner went through surgical menopause last year age 36, full hysterectomy ovaries removed. We are a same sex couple with a 9 month old baby.
I love her so much but I am struggling and feeling helpless. Our relationship has massively took a hit. Of course from the baby. Also she is a completely different person now, she has been through so much, so I know it really is understandable. But where does that leave me?
She is currently feeling trapped, disconnected from everyone and everything, including me, keeps talking about fantasies about living apart, how unrealistic it is to be together forever. Talking about possibilities with other people, saying it’s some kind of midlife crisis. Questioning everything really without anyone to properly talk to.
I want to listen. I want to help, I want to understand. I know menopause is life changing. I just have never been through anything like this and at this point with our baby I wish I felt like I was with someone who was sure of me and our life. I wish I was with someone who could physically and mentally support me and our baby more in this present time, instead of being always overcome with their own difficult things. (I have my own difficult things too. But I feel like I have to push them to the side constantly to be available for baby 24/7)
Maybe this is just temporary and the phase will end and she will come back again? Will things get better? Is there anything I can do to help support her through this? I am trying to listen to her talk with as little judgement as possible, even when what she says triggers something in me.