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Moredarkchocolateplease · 31/03/2023 14:15

Not my experience at all, I read that article too.

I'm 45, on HRT and I feel like a sack of potatoes and I don't feel like I've achieved anything in my life at all. I'm shit at coping with adversity.

Imagine the pressure these women are under to look good and keep up a positive image and look tough.

Surely being tough in your 50s depends on access to funds and social contacts and life stage - eg. Children left home?

lljkk · 31/03/2023 14:32

ha! I am amused at how well CS owns being a narcissist.

Was Vine always just a gossip columnist? I honestly can't find any opinion about her opinion, although it's refreshingly positive compared to most the opinions on this board, I suppose.

Nimbostratus100 · 31/03/2023 14:39

Moredarkchocolateplease · 31/03/2023 14:15

Not my experience at all, I read that article too.

I'm 45, on HRT and I feel like a sack of potatoes and I don't feel like I've achieved anything in my life at all. I'm shit at coping with adversity.

Imagine the pressure these women are under to look good and keep up a positive image and look tough.

Surely being tough in your 50s depends on access to funds and social contacts and life stage - eg. Children left home?

why should being tough in your 50s depend on funds and social contacts and life stage? To me ( on benefits) being 50 is all about being who I truly am, having outgrown any need to conform, worry about what anyone else is thinking, or working on "bettering myself".

I just enjoy being me, doing what I want, and pleasing noone else but me

Yes, I am tough! It is a hard won place to be! and I love it

Moredarkchocolateplease · 31/03/2023 14:43

@Nimbostratus100 maybe I'll feel like that in 5 or 10 yrs.

Let's hope so. At the moment I can't see it happening though! Currently who I truly am is a miserable, grouchy, snappy woman!

I can't wait for happy, tough me to emerge!

JinglingSpringbells · 31/03/2023 14:46

Without actually saying as much, I think SV is having a 'me too' moment. She and Michael Gove divorced recently (she's written about that too) and my guess is she's putting herself in the same camp.

RogerTheTodger · 31/03/2023 14:48

We have a work ethic that leaves most millennials rocking in a darkened room

Do we bollocks. I'm in my 50s and have devoted my life to not working unless I absolutely have to. Fortunately I haven't needed to, much.

Sarah Vain writes nonsense. Like all women, "us fiftysomething women" can't be lumped together as one mass of 'womanhood'.

Nimbostratus100 · 31/03/2023 14:48

Moredarkchocolateplease · 31/03/2023 14:43

@Nimbostratus100 maybe I'll feel like that in 5 or 10 yrs.

Let's hope so. At the moment I can't see it happening though! Currently who I truly am is a miserable, grouchy, snappy woman!

I can't wait for happy, tough me to emerge!

It will come! and its the best feeling ever xx

RogerTheTodger · 31/03/2023 14:48

JinglingSpringbells · 31/03/2023 14:46

Without actually saying as much, I think SV is having a 'me too' moment. She and Michael Gove divorced recently (she's written about that too) and my guess is she's putting herself in the same camp.

Every single thing she has ever written has been "me too".

Moredarkchocolateplease · 31/03/2023 14:49

@Nimbostratus100 thanks! I will keep that knowledge tucked away at the back of my mind for a dark day!!

Original poster
OperationMalena · 31/03/2023 14:52

I feel like a tough 50-something and it was hard won too.

My parent died when I was a teen, the remaining parent immediately moved on with horrible step-parent, infertility, issues with pregnancies and birth, marriage problems, issues with newborn and problems finding work.

I used to think I was flawed, damaged, and one stress away from a mental breakdown, but I held it all together and recently realised that actually, I am as tough as old boots.

At 50+ I no longer care what anyone thinks of me and am willing to openly pull people up on their shitty behaviour.

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 31/03/2023 14:52

RogerTheTodger · 31/03/2023 14:48

We have a work ethic that leaves most millennials rocking in a darkened room

Do we bollocks. I'm in my 50s and have devoted my life to not working unless I absolutely have to. Fortunately I haven't needed to, much.

Sarah Vain writes nonsense. Like all women, "us fiftysomething women" can't be lumped together as one mass of 'womanhood'.

I agree about work ethic.💪🏼Damn straight.

I would say you’re in a small minority if you haven’t had to work your entire life.

RogerTheTodger · 31/03/2023 14:54

@Suzi888 I'd say I'm bloody lucky. 🙂

Original poster
OperationMalena · 31/03/2023 14:55

Moredarkchoc

Yes, it will come. One day in your 50's you should wake up and not give a shit what anyone thinks.

OP posts:
Original poster
OperationMalena · 31/03/2023 15:00

I agree about work ethic. I work with many 50+ women and they work hard and are never off sick. They have a "well you are paying me, and this is what I am supposed to be doing for that money" attitude.

We also work with a lot of youngsters and unfortunately we end up doing their work for them as they don't care, and/or are either off sick or can't work due to their anxiety. My 50-something colleagues are battling divorce, menopause and some ill health and many have anxiety, but just battle on.

OP posts:
xPaz · 31/03/2023 15:06

There are a lot of different types of 50 something. I'm a single parent and will have to work for a long time now to make up for the years of being on benefits. I will be working til I'm 67 and still trying to go up the ladder a bit.

My married friends already made it up the ladder a decade ago at least due to having support (they didn't have children with an arsehole, so yeh, all my own fault I know that).

I also have friends whose husbands always earned more than enough for two of them and they're planning a retirement that they can well afford.

I feel tough now yeh, a lot or more resilient than I was when my dc were small. But maybe that's because I wasn't to begin with? I think when I was a single broke parent to two young children I deliberately kept my life very small because I couldn't cope with being overwhelmed or even just needing to be in two places at once.

Original poster
OperationMalena · 31/03/2023 15:13

xPaz, perhaps that is a better word for us to describe ourselves, what you said, "resilient".

OP posts:
Tg2023 · 01/04/2023 20:22

OperationMalena · 31/03/2023 15:00

I agree about work ethic. I work with many 50+ women and they work hard and are never off sick. They have a "well you are paying me, and this is what I am supposed to be doing for that money" attitude.

We also work with a lot of youngsters and unfortunately we end up doing their work for them as they don't care, and/or are either off sick or can't work due to their anxiety. My 50-something colleagues are battling divorce, menopause and some ill health and many have anxiety, but just battle on.

Clearly their anxiety isn't that bad than!
Until you've had crippling anxiety you won't understand.

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