Hi not sure if this is the right place. I'm in my early 40s with a long family history of early menopause. Most relatives age 38 -42 had gone through the menopause by that age. I have lots of symptoms. Night sweats, hot flushes, mood swings, periods in absolute chaos, joint pain, anxiety, the list goes on. My gps solution however is to go back on the pill and go on anti depressants to manage symptoms as my hormone levels apparently don't seem too bad. I do plan on going back to discuss further as this then leads to a further dilema. My partner and I have been ttc for 3 years, I have 2 children. He has none. One of the main reasons I agreed to try for a baby was his desire for children of his own. If he didn't want me to get pregnant that would be fine. I'm happy with my two but he is great with them and after 9 years of being together it felt right to try so he could be a dad himself . Through various investigations over the last few months into the symptoms I've been experiencing there has been no reason found why I can't conceive. The docs said my partner should go for testing and they could then look at fertility treatment. However, my partner doesn't seem interested in doing so despite years of him saying he wants a child. I'm not really getting much out of him about his thoughts on this or whether I should go back on the pill. How I'm feeling generally hormonal is without doubt impacting our relationship. The other thing it's making me question is around how I'm making a life changing decision to have another child in my 40s, the additional risks and complications and both my children the eldest now in his 20s are at an age where some of my freedoms are finally back and my careers going from strength to strength. if he isn't able to even engage fully in a conversation about it it seems like the investment in this is quite one sided and that worries me. Its a little like yes i really want to have a child with you but hes ambivilant to any action taken and doesnt want to take any action himself. Its very strange. I've been feeling a lot of guilt that it's my fault that I've not been able to get pregnant and each month especially as my periods are everywhere I'm in the am I am I not situation. Recently I've started to feel relieved that I'm not but then guilty for feeling that way as he always seems sad when I tell him and all he does say is that he wants me to have a baby and goes quiet if I try to ask anything further. I'm reaching out I guess just to see what other people think about this? Has anyone been through similar? Obviously there will be emotions and worries on his side too but I'm feeling very stuck and too emotionally connected to see from all angles but also exhausted so going back on the pill to balance my hormones seems like a good option yet doing so will basically be a final decision to stop trying to conceive given the time I'm likely to have left based on my families history which i feel will potentially destroy an otherwise pretty good relationship.