I am not having a happy menopause! Any tips?

[CharlotteOwlFace]

I'm 51 and I suppose I've been lucky up until now. Symptoms only really been problematic for a few months and I don't have hot flushes so that's something else to be thankful for

But I've got myself in a vicious circle. My sleep isn't good. I can wake every hour or so. This then has the knock in effect of me being sluggish in the day - so I turn to sweets and crisps etc. this then gives me heartburn and makes me feel worse. I have a kitchen full of fruit and salad and veg and nuts and grains etc - and I'm eating Percy pigs by the handful which I don't even like much

I'm a member of a very expensive spa. I'm literally paying for nothing - because I don't do my daily swim any more - can't be bothered although I used to enjoy it a few months back!

Can't be bothered to go for a walk because I'm tired

Started HRT last week. Now worried I'll just get fat and be progesterone intolerant or something and I also never wanted to take HRT really but here we are

Anyway now I've had a good moan - any tips for me please? Is breaking this cycle really just a case of trying to overcome what feels like a huge mental block?

Total sympathy. I'm 51 as well. I've had a mixture of symptoms, none too terrible for the last few years.

I do find sleep makes a huge difference. How are you doing about maximising the possibility of sleep, i.e. cutting out caffeine in the evening, getting to bed early? Are you able to get outside during the day, even if it's just for a few mins to get a bit of daylight?

Is there something you could do at the spa that would be a proper treat, and then whilst you're there you do a swim first?

This totally resonates with me, you have my complete sympathy, I wish I knew what the answer is......following with interest and hope.

Thanks for the replies! I think I've bored my poor menopause buddy (husband) this evening with my moaning

@tribpot you're so right about sleep being the cornerstone of it all. And I could do more there. I don't drink alcohol or coffee etc but it wouldn't be unusual for me to have a bag of squashies at 10pm or just sit scrolling on my phone until midnight.

When I'm in the right headspace, I'll read and have a peppermint tea and feel smug so this is definitely a bad loop I've got into,

I do lots apart from these blips - Epsom salt baths, posh oil baths, magnesium spray, oh all sorts. But because I'm just tired right now - I'm swigging on a Pepsi

@sauvignonplonk1 it's rubbish isn't it? And I blame Davina tbh. You think a spot of HRT will morph you into someone like her but it doesn't.

Although I've only been taking it about 5 days so I should reserve judgement I suppose.

Don't even know what dose of that to take as my doctor was just like ' oh err take what you want to. Try one pump or two. Whatever!'

So that was a bit weird.

It’s largely rubbish in parts, I’ve been in bits but currently am in a good place so hang on in there. Ditch as much from your schedule as you possibly can and just rest, drink lots of water/hydration is important. Forget diets and eat for nutrients, can you switch the percy pigs for dark chocolate, nuts, dried fruit etc, don’t deprive yourself as that deflates your mood. Forget exercise you cba to do at the moment and find something you can be bothered to do that just keeps your body moving. Above everything else be kind to yourself.

This is lovely x

Sleep, sleep and more sleep matters. Remember the sleep deprivation when you had babies? Nothing compared to menopause. But, we don't tell everyone that.

HRT is going to take at least one cycle (28 daysish) to have an effect.

Pepsi is better than gin, probably

The HRT won't make you fat but the sweets, crisps and Percy pigs along with no swimming or walking won't help.

Good luck with the HRT. Hopefully it will help with the sleeping

HRT helped my sleep hugely. Previously I kept waking up with night sweats and that no longer happens also I think the Progesterone element helps me get off to sleep more easily in the first place.

I had no idea how debilitating this lack of sleep issue was until I got here. I'm never asleep before 1 am even though I go to bed at 10.30 pm. Then I wake around 2.30 am and dip in and out of sleep until 7 am. I hate it.

You have all my sympathy OP! Apologies for being so tedious but have you tried eating more fat and cutting carbs?

In desperation to deal with hot flushes I gave it a try and it helped. Eventually they came back and I started hrt but eating more fat made it pretty easy to cut out loads of rubbish that was making me feel tired and hungry all the time, also eliminated heartburn. It didn't turn me into a ball of energy but I don't get awful dips in energy or raging hunger. Also my vitamin D is in range for the first time.

Might be worth asking for a referral to a menopause clinic. Ideally someone should be overseeing your treatment, not just shrugging and telling you to decide for yourself.

Did you seriously think you were gonna morph into Davina. Did you not do any background reading?

The hormones started kicking into my evil peri-menopause symptoms (at 41) after about 2 weeks. Now at 59, I'm planning to be on HRT for the rest of my life even if I have to rob a pharmacy for the drugs.

@CharlotteOwlFace are you taking the hormones in the evening? Taking HRT correctly is a big part of getting yourself back. Look at the Balance app with Dr Louise Newsome for how to apply Oestragel properly. If you have progesterone tablets take them 2 hours after food. I stop eating at 8, take HRT at 10 et voila. If you take progesterone in the morning you will feel sluggish all day. Personally I got these two hormones under control then added testosterone which has helped with motivation and mental acuity. Not all GP’s will prescribe this tho.

Try and get yourself back into exercising as a way of exhausting your body. I also light a ‘this works’ sleep candle for 20mins before bed whilst scrolling through my phone as a way of relaxing. They also do a very good pillow spray.

What HRT doesn’t do is stop my bloody DH snoring which is why I am awake (plus wine at a birthday dinner) 😂

@Oblomov23 of course I didn't - and I'm clearly joking in my op. Sorry if that wasn't particularly clear

@Netaporter I'm taking the progesterone as you state and the HRT gel in the morning. Was told this was the way to do it as the gel can cause 'a lift' which you don't want in the evening. I'm be found no real evidence that this is the case though!

@crispinglovershighkick I'm usually very good with my diet but when I'm super tired, they all goes out the window. High fat and protein is on the card though - can I start tomorrow?! I've got a tub of ice cream in the freezer 😀

I'm thinking of paying to go to a private menopause clinic. I've found a lovely doctor who runs a clinic and I just want one appointment so I'm really clear in my mind. My own doctor prescribed me utrogestan to take every single night - I had to query this and only then did she say ' you could try taking it for 2 weeks of the month only but no need'

But there is a need! I' still have a womb so my understanding was a fortnight of progesterone

So your idea of going to a dedicated clinic is a good one

I've lost 2 1/2 stone since starting hrt. Well I've been on it for about 18 months now and started losing weight 4 months or so ago. I didn't put any weight on after starting hrt and now I've got a good balance of oestrogen I finally have the head space to look after myself.
Im one of those people who was suicidal before hrt and it has changed my life. Give it time op. Hope it helps you

Thank you @IfYoureGonnaBreakMyHeart

I'm usually quite active (I say 'quite' as that's about all it is!) but the lack of sleep is just doing me in

Like @Shampern ive been falling asleep at about 1am and then basically seeing every hour

Last night I was asleep at just gone 11 and woke at 5 and managed to go back to sleep until 7 ish so this feels like progress!

In my bitter experience, diet and exercise is the solution, not HRT.

I have come out the other side of menopause with a load of extra weight. You need to not touch food at all outside of meal times. And if you absolutely must, then cucumber sticks or nuts is necessary, not anything sugary or shitty ever for a snack. If you want a sugary item, it needs to be eaten with a decent balanced meal at a meal time. This is a direct result of menopause and it's a new way of living.

I am on the way to losing my weight (shifted 1.5 stone) but it is fucking hard because of menopause.

Deepest sympathies OP.
Menopause is total shite!

I'm on HRT and have never felt that great, but I think i would feel a whole lot worse without it.

Sleep is key, without a few decent hours under your belt each night, you will feel pants ( hrt or not) Some say HRT helps sleep, not in my case 👎

Try and eat well and get out in the daylight when you can.

Unfortunately as we enter this frankly crappy phase of life, a few lifestyle changes are necessary.

Good luck and go easy on the Percy pigs! 😊

I'm coming from a place of ignorance as I'm not yet in the menopause but think I'm peri now.

Can doctors prescribe melatonin? I ordered some from the US a few years ago to help with insomnia.

Hang in there and give the HRT a chance to work. I have had different symptoms to yours. I’m sleeping ok but was feeling very fatigued and had awful psychological/cognitive symptoms. Very dark thoughts and a sense of impending doom, rampant anxiety… I’ve been on HRT about 6 weeks now and it’s starting to make a real difference. Now I’m beginning to feel a bit better, I’m almost ready to tackle my sugar addiction 😬 I am exercising loads because it’s my job. It’s a bit of a struggle at the moment but definitely getting better.

@waterlego what HRT regime are you on please?

Ive also got the sugar addiction! It's crazy because I have never really eaten sweets. BUT I have been buying them by the bucket load of late.. 🤦‍♀️

Like you, my sleep was dreadful, and I think the anxiety that came with perimenopause made it even worse as I would go to bed fretting that I would not sleep. Not sleeping also makes it more likely one will gain weight and crave sugary foods as our blood sugar is low and we need something to pep us up. Sleeping well is key to being able to function properly. Once you are sleeping better, the desire to eat percy pigs should vanish. Also, if you are sleeping well and your hormones are properly balanced, you should not gain weight. I know for me, once I was on the correct dosage (for me) of HRT, any weight gained fell off although this was in addition to eating more protein, no sugar and a regular exercise regime - walking/weight lifting/swimming.

I now sleep through the night, and rarely wake - I am on HRT (estradiol/estriol, progesterone and testosterone), and I take the progesterone part before I go to be because it helps with sleep. Indeed, at one point, I was taking 400 mg each night. (Am currently down to 100mg). In addition to this, I also take 6mg of melatonin too.

Unfortunately, the NHS rarely prescribe melatonin, but thankfully, I see a private specialist who prescribes it as standard. If you don't want to go the private route, melatonin in the form of gummies are a good alternative, are available online and should help