What am I missing? I'm not sure I'm ever going to feel like me again

[SurelyNot22]

Pre peri I was in control, on top of my job, emotionally supportive of my kids and partner, able to plan for the future. Generally really positive and happy to deal with whatever life gave me.

When peri hit I was determined to get myself in the best position to deal with it. You name it, I've got it in place. Nutrition/exercise/sleep/educating myself/HRT, the lot.

For me the absolute worst symptom is the debilitating low mood. I spoke to the GP and I've had my HRT tweaked a couple of times now. I even signed up with BUPA to get an appointment with a menopause GP, who made a couple of suggestions which I've also implemented.

I'm now at the point where, whilst all of the above has helped me deal with peri, I'm in no way near feeling good. A good day now is one where the symptoms don't have a huge impact on my day.

I'm beginning to think that I'm never going to feel like myself again. I'm not expecting to feel like the pre peri me, I know this is the next phase in my life etc etc but surely it's not unreasonable to want to be me again...?

Is this as good as it gets?

Can I ask how old you are?

Of course.

I'm 44. I started getting symptoms last summer 22 and went on HRT in early Nov 22.

Have you considered that the peri menopause may be somewhat of a red herring here? Your low mood could respond to a low dose anti depressant maybe?

You'd be considered young for the menopause at 44 but of course not too young for peri menopause.

So given that you're 44 and the HRT isn't addressing the symptom you'd like it to, look into whether you might respond to anti depressants

I tried to express in my original post that the HRT and other measures are definitely helping to some extent.

What I'm asking is whether this is as good as it gets. Is feeling less bad all I should be expecting?

I have found that taking a low-dose anti-depressant has helped me, I don't think all my problems were peri or menopausal though, but I feel much more positive and myself now, whatever the cause.

I definitely don't need anti depressants. The low mood is cyclical rather than constant.

I am in a similar position to you @SurelyNot22 - I'm 43 and been on HRT for almost two years, with various tweaks including adding testosterone last autumn. I eat well, exercise regularly, low BMI, don't drink much etc. I'd estimate that there are only one or two days a month where I feel happy and content - the rest of the time I'm just surviving the low mood / hopelessness (like you HRT had a significant impact on my symptoms, but mood is still an issue). It's awful, particularly as I have a child and a demanding job. Like you, I'm wondering if this is it, as it's no life and can't be good for my child, but GPs are hopeless so I have no-where to turn. Sorry that doesn't help you much, other than reassuring you that you're not the only person on this position.

Sorry! Was only responding to try and be helpful ...

@Moomin37 I'm sorry you're feeling this too. Thank you for posting; everything you've written describes perfectly how I feel.

I don't know if I'm being hugely ungrateful for the small improvements or massively deluded in terms of what I was hoping for. Probably both!

As with most people our age, I've been through a fair bit in my life but in the past couple of years things have taken a turn for the better and I was feeling good about the future. Then peri hit me.

I suppose I'm struggling to come to terms with the idea that this is yet another crock of poo to be dealt with, despite doing everything by the book as instructed.

Thank you for the solidarity x

@OldTrot no need to apologise, thank you for responding. The anti depressant thing is a bit of a sore point for me. I apologise if the way in which I responded was snippy.

I feel like this too but don't think I'm peri yet. I've spoken to lots of people of various ages lately who all seem to feel the same. Friends and I were having a conversation literally this weekend about the fact that there seems to be some sort of post Covid fatigue/misery/hopelessness. We come out of one crisis and lurch into another it seems at the moment and I know I certainly feel quite empty and hopeless at the moment. I hate it. I just feel the last time I felt really happy and content was 2019 which was pre Covid and pre my sister passing away. It's rubbish.

@seratoninmoonbeams I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I hope things improve for you soon.

I'm reading the responses with interest as a lot of the OP resonates with me. I'm not taking HRT due to a family history of breast cancer. I'm also really reluctant to take anti-depressants as my mood is also very cyclical. I am getting by on exercise and supplements but I am sick of not feeling like myself!

That's how I feel. I went on antidepressants because although it was cyclical, it wasn't responding with the HRT like my other symptoms. It's worked, feel back to normal

You've only been on HRT for 3 months. I'd give it a bit more time. I've had to up my estrogen several times. I started on 50 patches, moved up to 75, and now I'm on 100.
I can really relate to feeling flat and hopeless but increasing my dose worked.

I don't know what type of HRT you're on but you might want to try a different form.

The reason I’ve not gone on HRT is because it doesn’t seem to be the wonder drug for everyone, and my symptoms aren’t that bad.
But I do feel a low level ‘can’t be bothered’ and I don’t know if it’s peri, empty nest, post covid, or something else. I’m not depressed, I’m quite happy in my own little world, I just wish I had the desire to go on holidays and days out. I used to go away 3 or 4 times a year, now I can’t be bothered to go once.