Disappointing menopause appointment

[SpamhappyTootsie]

I follow the threads on here and I thought I was all prepared for an appointment with the Nurse Practitioner this morning (my first).
Had the usual gatekeeping oh you need a smear…..hmm, you haven’t had your bloods done for a while……blood pressure a bit high, buy a monitor to use at home and come back in a week or so
She would not listen to anything I said so now I’m a menopausal sobbing mess at home because I can see my 50s just vanishing in a fog of forgetfulness and joint pain. I’ve already turned down a fantastic job because of my energy levels. I have to choose what social and leisure activities I do because of the joint pain and fatigue.

Give me a kick up the arse, please. I’ve just spent £62 on a blood pressure monitor so I can play along with her stupid game, but I feel like next time I go there will be some other hoop to jump through.
Do I go private? Change GP ? How to combat the White Coat Hypertension because if HRT is riding on some magic number in her office then how will I ever get past that? HRT is proven to lower blood pressure ffs!

@Astridspuzzle I lost 12kg last year but it was bloody hard work! And I was even more tired than before. I took B12 and Spatone and low carbed. Added basic hand weights at home to the walking I do, anything more intensive is too much at the moment. GP said if HRT works for me I should see a rise in energy levels and hopefully a reduction in joint pain so that should help shift the 5kg I put back on over winter. If joint pain and fatigue not meno related then the blood tests should pick up possible reasons. I've taken VitD for years as that was always typically low in line with regional trends.

Thank you @adriftabroad and @vjg13. I know there will be women looking at this board who feel a bit let down by their GP offer so I just wanted to show the incredible difference between practices less than 2 miles apart.

Oh, I'm having trouble accessing the Balance app. It says I have an account attached to my email already, which I haven't. When I try to get a new password just in case it says the email isn't recognised, so sort of going round in circles. Anyone had a similar problem? I can read all the relevant info so not essential but GP said she helped develop the app and I want to engage to put a bit back in return for her efforts. Plus I'm crap at keeping paper diary records so it will be helpful.

Oooh that's inspiring - well done you. I'm going for body weight exercises first as started weights last year but hurt myself! Now doing swimming lessons. But I do need to watch portions...

Gosh 12kg - that's really great!

I'm so glad you're getting somewhere at last, OP! I have given up completely flogging the dead NHS horse and as i'm in surgical menopause something had to give, so I have booked with a private Menopause Consultant for next week.🤞

I hope you get a decent response @SebastianFlytesTrousers . The disparity between services is terrible. One of my GPs does private consultations, in fact that's how I found her, then saw she is a partner in the practice. It's for all the community but is getting a name for itself as specialising in women's health.

How many days have you been on the prescription, @SpamhappyTootsie ? Are you feeling much better from it?

It sounds like you did a lot of other things this year, too, not HRT, that maybe helped? What were those things?

I am only 2 days in @lljkk . Just the estradiol gel for now so far too soon to see any benefits (or side effects?). Utrogestan won’t start for a month. I wanted to wait until I’ve been taking the gel for a cycle so I can separate the effects out if possible and the GP said that was fine.
Losing weight last year made me feel a little better in myself but the fatigue, anxiety, low mood, tearfulness, night sweats, IBS and bone/ankle pain didn’t get any better. Magnesium, B12, Iron haven’t made any difference either. I’ll certainly keep up with the nutritional changes alongside the HRT and I hope to be at a point where I can look at the women only gym for some further weight bearing exercise in a month or three.
I don’t know if the HRT as prescribed is the ideal one for me yet. I just know that the change of GP has made me more confident I have been listened to and that I’ll have a knowledgeable professional to guide me through the next few years. Which is what every woman should be entitled to.

What did you go to the GP for? Blood pressure? That’s not necessary related to menopause. I’m in the menopause but haven’t been to the GP as have no symptoms. Not everything is hormone related just because you’re that age.

Are you ok?
Maybe on the wrong thread.

Hi @43ontherocksporfavor , that’s brilliant that you have no symptoms - many women don’t, including several of my friends. I’m all for managing peri and meno naturally if that’s the choice someone wants to make. Wish I could do that too, but it’s become apparent that I can’t unless I want my 50s to vanish in a haze of fatigue, pain and anxiety. So I’m giving HRT a try for now, to hopefully solve the immediate issues and also to protect my future bone, heart and brain health.

I’m just saying you have to be careful that you don’t blame all woes on menopause. I realise I’m lucky at the moment, that could change of course. I have known women think their poor health is meno related when it’s been thyroid issues or other complaints. Hope you get to feel better soon.

Just realised this is an old thread! I must have more brain related symptoms than I thought! 😂

No, the OP kindly came back to update on her progress so it's not an old thread

Yes I realise that and that’s why I came back. I was responding to her op and hadn’t read the whole thread. But thanks.

@SpamhappyTootsie I can absolutely confirm that all the things you have remaining are definitely low estrogen symptoms, along with a myriad of other lovely stuff. I am 100% confident you're going to see a real improvement on the gel in time.

No problem (love the username!)

You are entitled to refuse a smear and that shouldn't have been a condition of further discussion of the menopause although a suggestion to have one was not unreasonable.
Screening before prescribing HRT is required and includes all the usual lifestyle questions, checking your blood pressure and getting details of your menstrual cycle. If you have significantly raised BP it is completely normal to treat before starting HRT and getting results and a genuine average reading by checking this at home and supplying these results( rather than surgery ones) is a good way to do it. If your home BPs are normal there will be no barrier to HRT. If they are significantly raised you will have to decide on your priorities although many very active very slim and healthy living people need BP medicines so they can't necessary be avoided and are prescribed to prolong your healthy life.
Be very choosy with private providers , @JinglingSpringbells has good advice .

It's the difference in approach I'm updating on now. Of course it's necessary and reasonable to have BP and lifestyle checks. But in my original appt the Nurse began with questions about smear tests, making me have to go into the reasons I find them incredibly difficult. Which raised my blood pressure and she used that as a reason not to even discuss HRT further. She was awful. However, I did follow the advice to check BP regularly at home and went for a follow up appt with the BP Nurse. Who was surprised I had been asked to see her as my BP is fine unless someone is making me relive the PTSD I had while giving birth to my DS.
Whereas recent GP did exactly the same checks, recommended suitable HRT on that basis THEN had a discussion about the importance of a smear test and suggested a general blood test as part of the NHS Health check offer.

Here's hoping! But on the off-chance it doesn't I'm confident my GP team are women-centred and will work with me to find an alternative.

Write to the practice manager and complain about being fobbed off. I did this and they prescribed at next appointment OP.