What's it like on the other side?

[crackofdoom]

I've never seen this question asked, yet surely it's the most important one of all. What's it like once you've been through the menopause? Does it get better- ever?

I'm on HRT, but still get symptoms- the one which bothers me most is the tiredness, but also aching joints and weight gain. Is this the new normal, or can I look forward to a future in which I get my energy back?

Had a hysterectomy at 46, went into menopause pretty much 2 years to the day later. No HRT just painkillers to deal with the (horrendous) joint pain. It lasted about 5 years and now, 7 years later I feel great! No PMT, no other physical issues. Not quite as much energy as I'd like sometimes but otherwise life is good 😊

Weight training for your joints.
Sleep more for your tiredness.
Eat often and lowish carb healthy fats super high protein for your muscles and metabolism.
Older women rock at endurance pursuits, we're built for it. The future is good 💪.

I started a year and a half after my last period. Wish I'd done it sooner, but HRT has helped me a lot in terms of keeping my energy levels for exercise, sleeping reasonably well and not slipping into a flat mood all the time.

How long does it take to work? I went on it 12 days ago and all that's happened so far is that I cried at work because I had to to do a stupid course that has nothing to do with the job I'm doing now. It would have been linked to the job I used to do, which I preferred and I was taken away from that role and just ordered to do this one instead. I did point out the illogical waste of time that this was but boss told me sorry, it has to be done Normally i'd have shrugged but the overt lack of sensitivity to the fact I'd already moved away from the role I preferred so obligingly, looking forward, with a smile staple gunned on to my face, it really spelled it out to me, I'm a cog. Nothing more than a cog. But so what, it was just two days. I felt like taking a career break and working in a cafe. I put this uncharacteristic inability to shrug over box ticking nonsense down to hrt.
I haven't cried at work for 30 years. Far worse things happened over the last decade.

@JinglingSpringbells sorry for jumping in but can you help with anything that can be taken for libido apart from testosterone? I'm 4 years since last period, peri was awful, I sobbed and begged in the dr's but all they would give me was anti depressants which I refused. I had work Bupa but I wasn't covered for menopause. Anyway 4 years later I am relatively OK, I take magnesium, vit D and turmeric and thats all. Sleep and sweats are ok if I don't drink or eat sugar, and I exercise a lot BUT my sex live is crap. I have no interest and I miss it. If I do get going it takes For EVER and when I peak so to speak its really not that great😳 not like before. I cant afford to go private so I just wondered if there was any other natural product which you know about that could help. Thank you

Jinglingspringbells post is the most honest I've read. I thought I was the only one not skipping about, thrilled at my final years. I hate it. I miss my periods (even though they were horrendous). I hate that I'll never have another baby. I hate the feeling that I'm moving towards the end. I hate that this is it now.

I've never had a hot flush, my periods stopped instantly, no erratic ones, I have an interesting job, a lovely partner, gorgeous kids, and it looks from the outside that everything's great - but I feel like I'm in mourning.

I'm sorry I don't know! There was something in the news yesterday about a new product (pharmacy type) for libido so you might be able to search for that online. I don't know if it's available mainstream yet or if it's still being developed.

Are you using HRT because a lot of women find estrogen helps.

Yes parsley tea daily just a small handful needed fresh. Rinse then let brew in a cup. If yo u make it too strong you get loose bowels. Tastes surprisingly pleasant. If still menstruating do not use during periods as can make them heavier.

my libido has improved though so I think many things balance out again!

Of course you can!

Loads of women only start post-menopause (me included.)

There are 2 sorts of HRT - one for peri and one for post.

The benefits to your heart can be had if you start it within 10 years of your last period. But you can still start at any time.

RudsyFarmer LOL in a sad way 😂 I'm on the tail end of dry January and am on a strict low carb diet- and still feel like crap! At least I know I don't have to give up alcohol for the sake of my energy levels!!

Interestingly, I have given myself a break from the low carb diet for 2 days for DS's birthday. I iced and assembled his Snickers cake last night, nibbling on cake trimmings, buttercream icing, all the bits of chocolate I was using to decorate the top. It gave me a massive surge of energy. Still feeling better this morning 🤔 Damn.

FullFathomFyve yep, the massive spots are receding. Huzzah! Except I've got one right now 🙄 PMT has plagued me all my fertile life- nowadays I'm finding I'm completely free of it about 2 cycles out of three....and the third is a humdinger 😱 I can only assume that this marks the cycles when I'm actually still ovulating.

@JinglingSpringbells @Zippedydoo123 thank you both, no I am not on HRT as I couldnt get it when I needed it and now all that I would need it for is Libido and what I read it doesn't always work for that. So am off to get some parsley 😉 and will research what this over the counter product is. Thank you both

For me it was marvellous but I had an easy menopause anyway. The biggest thing for me was the end of migraines. I had a 3 week cycle and for a couple of days every 3 weeks I'd be drugged up with painkillers if it was a milder migraine, in bed struggling to get to the bathroom to vomit if it was a bad migraine. I vividly remember lying on the bathroom floor just wanting to be dead.

So after menopause my life was and is so much easier. Over 20 years now and although I do have some arthritis in one of my hands that is due to long covid not menopause.

I'm 70 in a few weeks, bringing up a grandchild for various sad reasons, carer to my disabled husband and just about to retire. I don't think energy is my problem although long covid did make me realise how lucky I am and I am so relieved that I'm just about through that.

I've never been quite sure what brain fog actually is but I don't think I had it, my career took off after menopause and the last 20 years have been great and my boss has done everything to persuade me not to retire.

You might be lucky, you might not, but live in hope.

ancientgran a friend had migraines at the level you describe. She was very wary of going on HRT, as she thought the progesterone would exacerbate them. She eventually did......and the migraines stopped.

It's no more honest than anyone else's. You just relate to it more.

Your "final years". Fucking hell. What an attitude.

I personally could not use HRT owing to stroke history with both my parents. I take blood pressure meds. A friend was diabetic so could not take either.

I have resolved all symptoms on my own through research except the dry mouth issue. The NHS is not always the answer. I have had to learn the hard way through trial and error.

I honestly didn't want to make it sound all doom and gloom.

There are women who feel great, no real peri with no need for HRT at all. But statistically they are 25%.

However, there are two sides (at least!) to menopause.

The first is the flushes and sweats and everything else that goes with peri.
The length of time they last varies- they say the average is about 7 years, but there are about 10-15% who find they never stop.

The second is how the menopause affects the body long term. This happens even if you had the easiest peri ever!

There is no question that women's health can deteriorate without estrogen.
Bone loss
Heart disease
Increased risk of diabetes
Dementia

The biggest cause of death for women is now dementia, then heart disease, then complications from osteoporosis.

I've loads of friends who never used HRT but now, in their 60s, they are getting other things like osteoporosis, low mood, lots of aches and pains (sometimes osteoarthritis).

I was worried about a poster here who said she had an easy menopause at 44, because now anyone stopping that early would be strongly advised to use HRT up to 51 at least to protect their heart and bones.

Yes, some of this can be prevented with lifestyle, but if anyone in your family has had heart disease or osteoporosis or dementia, you will be at higher risk.

'nuff said!

@Zippedydoo123 Who told you that and when? It's completely wrong and out of date. If this was a dr telling you, they are behind the times by about 20 years.

You can take HRT if your parents had strokes. You just use the type of HRT that doesn't cause strokes. You can take HRT with high BP if you are on meds for it. This is all online, on medical sites.

Likewise there is no reason at all why someone with diabetes can't take HRT. In fact HRT protects again diabetes.

I’m nearly 61 and feel the same. Aches and pains are also much reduced, I used to have sore feet and aching hips all the time, now they don’t bother me at all unless I’ve walked over 5 miles. I have much more get-up-and-go as well. I’m looking forwards to doing things again rather than trudging through life. I never did HRT. The worst of menopause for me probably hit at around 53-56.

Interesting. Must be out of date information I obtained.

My remaining symptoms are bearable though.

Was your friend having migraines because of the menopause or had she always had them? I do feel I should have had more medical help with them but maybe I didn't make enough fuss but as they started when my periods did when I was ten I suppose I just accepted them by the time I was an adult.

HRT wasn't something I felt I needed, I suppose I'd had periods for 35 years and the migraines were something I thought I'd always have. I had a hysterectomy and oophorectomy so my menopause was an overnight thing and I suppose in the 20 odd years since I've had 2 or 3 migraines on the milder side. So I suffered with periods and migraines for 35 years but never had any perimenopause symptoms or menopause symptoms or post menopause symptoms. Maybe we all suffer somewhere along the journey and I'd done my time.

@Zippedydoo123 It's very out of date info.

Using the right sort of hrt actually protects the cardio vascular system. One of the reasons I chose hrt was because of the strong history of heart disease on my maternal side- gran, uncle (heart attack/stroke, and heart attacks, young for my uncle ) mum - some minor issues, dad - minor stroke.

Estrogen opens up the arteries and stops them furring up. This is why HRT is recommended within 10 years of menopause, because after that time the arteries will have started to thicken and the benefits aren't as great.

Likewise, with diabetes, the effects on blood glucose levels of HRT help prevent it.

I'm 59 and was fortunate to have a very easy menopause (so was DH 😄). Periods just stopped at 52 hurrah! No HRT. The only thing I "suffer" now with is achy feet sometimes first thing in the morning but that's probably as much to do with, you know, actually ageing.

I have a brilliant colleague who I love dearly but she is always going on about how awful it is (and for her it genuinely is, I don't deny it) to the point where a couple of slightly younger colleagues are now terrified of it because she issues these dark warnings about what's to come for them. I do my best to reassure them that an awful menopause isn't a given and hopefully OP your post-menopausal life will be fulfilling and enjoy your hikes 😊

Well, for me, if my life is so miserable without HRT, then I don't really care about cancer risks. There is no point in being miserable just to prevent cancer which you might never get.

I am out the other side, no HRT mid to late 50s, I feel fine, no aches and pains, 8st, still slim & fit, I have always made healthy eating and lots of exercise a big part of my life so that could be why🤷

Is there anyone on here who started getting migraine with aura when they were perimenopausal, and the auras stopped once they were properly menopausal? I am 50, have been getting aura since just before my 43rd birthday. Have been on HRT patches for nearly a year; didn’t get any aura for the first 4 months, now getting them once a month around the time of my period. I hate them, they terrify me, mimic the symptoms of a stroke (I’ve been checked by a neurologist to be sure) and wipe me out for days afterwards. I need to know that there is some hope that I won’t be having them for the next 30 years as they (and the fear of the next one) are ruining my life and I’m terrified to leave the house in case one happens when I’m out and about and I’m unable to tell a passer-by what help I need 😓