Menopause Workplace Rights rejected by UK Parliament (in which lies a Significant Irony…)

[discobrain]

I wanted to share this from someone I follow on twitter - please read it.

Parliament has rejected workplace rights

I feel incredibly fortunate that I have been given HRT, although I had to fight for it. I was forty years old when perimenopause got me, and I was initially dismissed by a younger lady doctor. Those next four years were hell, until I called and asked begged desperately to speak to a woman GP in my own age group. I was truthfully in such a state, and I actually said to the doctor that I didn't feel safe to be around because I was so constantly angry and overwhelmed that I didn't want to be around anyone, and I was wondering if it would be easier not to be around at ALL anymore. Fortunately she listened to me, and apologised for the surgery letting me down four years earlier.

Those of us with an ovarian system need to be listened to, not just in the workplace, but EVERYWHERE. Men in particular dismissing us and calling it "just hormones" like they have ANY idea what it feels like, they don't.

What the fuck do we do about this? How do we make these uninformed and apathetic arseholes understand how debilitating perimenopause and menopause is?

@discobrain you've just described exactly how I feel now (I'm currently 40). I don't feel safe to be around and I feel the anger/rage inside me has turned me into a different person altogether.

Feel like the worlds worst mum for being so snappy and irritable and just a horrible partner in general.

The physical side I can cope with (so far!) but i really think it's massively understood within the workplace/between men. Even younger woman don't fully appreciate how bad it is (including my younger self in that bracket!)

@nc1013 it's HORRIBLE.

The first symptoms for me were periods that were beyond horrific, and I've always had nasty ones since I first started my cycles, but when peri hit me? I couldn't leave my flat. I genuinely couldn't. I would be hit with terrible migraines, constant nausea and eventual vomiting, couldn't keep food down, and the amount of blood I was producing was like something from a horror film. I couldn't use any internal method of mopping it up so to speak, it was so painful. The biggest pads weren't enough either, I ended up having to buy those huge incontinence pads that are thick and heavy, it felt like I was wearing an adult nappy. My cycles were around nine days and the first five of those days left me incapacitated that I couldn't always stand up, and being dismissed the way I was, left me honestly suicidal.

My bones and joints were agony every single day, climbing ten steps left me in intense burning pain, and I would routinely faint. Huge mood swings, sobbing, inability to concentrate, leaving my keys on the outside of the door and panicking when I couldn't find them, not being able to cook or do anything to take care of myself meant my living space went to shit.

Four years of that before I was given HRT. It has been an actual lifesaver, and for fucking politicians to be so dismissive makes me rage so much. We deserve better than to be ignored like this.

How fucking depressing. Once again women are shown how little they matter. It's like polititions are unaware women can vote.
Says someone who currently gets 3-4 hours sleep a night and who’s body feels 90 (and has a physical job). But hey the years of flooding at work/on way to work seem to be over so that's good . Unfortunately I can't take hrt and have been waiting to see a meno specialist for over a year, that was after fighting for referral for 18 months.

@BrassMarbles I'm so sorry you can't take HRT, it's not fair at all. I know there are supposed supplements that can help with some symptoms, but so many of them are gimmicky and too many people fall prey to them and they're not cheap either.

Obligatory mention that if this happened to men, it would be addressed immediately.

I am so sorry you had a hell of a time OP. And I simply don’t understand why GP training isn’t already mandatory.

But I’m now late-40s and I’ve got past the age where I’d get suspicious looks in interviews where I could tell they were sizing up if I was going to have babies. I’m no longer a “maternity risk”. But if I was also a “menopause leave” risk, well what would that do to my career? Nothing good, I’m sure.

I am not sure I truly want menopause to be recognised for leave, because like it or not that WILL cause employers to take pause before hiring women “of a certain age”. I’m not saying that is defensible but I think it’s a reality, isn’t it?

And the problem should have been addressed by your GP, by better healthcare - being granted regular sick leave whilst you are dealing with symptoms and waiting for effective treatment.

Well said!

I am out the other side and although I had horrendous periods ( ending in a hysterectomy) I just about managed. I am all for help in the work place but I can see this potentially getting abused by anyone of a certain age, so I agree with the post above.

Where does it end? A reasonable adjustment in your workplace could help, get occupational health involved if necessary?

Meanwhile they are trying to lure people in their 50s back to work.

It would be impossible for me to work now, especially without HRT or short days. Literally would keel over if I had to stack shelves for too long. And I'm only 55.

They aren't that good at cause and effect and making connections that's for sure.

thanks @mrsbrownhat .

I don’t like using the argument “but I’m afraid of suffering more discrimination”, because I’d like the answer to be that employers don’t discriminate. But many do, and many always will. Especially in smaller companies, IME.

In reality women with menstrual, pregnancy-related and menopausal symptoms have always just learned to work through issues, unless physically incapable of working. In the same way my colleagues -male or female - with depression, anxiety, colitis, MS, chronic back pain, cancer etc mostly just get on with work unless they are absolutely physically incapable of working.

I realise that pregnancy related illness is protected in a special category but I think that probably has a relationship with the length of the illnesses (often debilitated, but by nature finite) and the history of women being sacked on the spot once pregnancy was identified.

Im not sure, I’m just not sure. Happy to be persuaded tbh.

There was an interesting article last week in The Times by Janice Turner on this. Don't turn menopause into a tragic female flaw

Because of the paywall, you can't see it, (unless you subscribe) but basically, she was saying that if women want be to treated as equals, they shouldn't expect to be treated differently once they got to menopausal age (because both sexes may suffer ill health in middle age, and older.) Basically what @PotKettel is saying above.

She also suggested such 'concessions' could backfire with women (once again) being written off at 50 if menopause is singled out as an issue. The Discrimination Act (I'm quoting her) already includes sex, age and disability, which in her opinion give enough weight to the issue.

What she did call for was better access to trained GPs and easier access to menopause treatment.

Also, sometimes it's the person who has to change, not the system. I don't mean women (or men) should be forced out of their jobs, because of disability, but as we all age, some jobs that are physical maybe aren't suitable. people need to plan ahead and consider a change, and even re-training, when the pension age is likely to continue to rise.

@PotKettel you're absolutely right of course, leave for menopause WILL undoubtedly cause more discrimination for an already discriminated against demographic, but why shouldn't it be recognised for the debilitating life stage that it is?

Trying to find work when you're of a certain age is difficult as it is, most of the employers who are looking for a workforce are ageist as hell, amongst other things.

There's no reason why this can't be a protected characteristic, nor is there any reason why GPs shouldn't have mandatory training, but apparently it's too much to ask for. Are we supposed to just suffer without any recognition or the right care? It's not fair, any of it.

@JinglingSpringbells I get your point, but so much of peri and menopause affects us mentally too, it's definitely not just a physical thing. It affects everything.

For some women, not all.

And I wasn't simply meaning the physical symptoms.

Looking at your original post, most of the really good menopause experts in the UK are male gynaecologists, who are tend to be very sympathetic towards women.

Some of the worst examples of being dismissed by drs (on this forum) are women complaining about other women drs who say 'Oh I got through it fine, so will you.'

It's disgraceful you had to try for 4 years to get treatment and this does need to change.

Thankfully, the NICE meno guidance came out in 2015 and this does at least give women some evidence to print off and discuss with drs who insist on not listening.