Hi @menowhat, I didn't ever seek treatment for low mood/depression, so HRT has helped me somewhat incidentally with that, as it has, looking back, with other things, eg my bladder. I sought help as a home hormone test showed my testosterone levels were really low which again looking back was making me feel weak and fatigued and very intolerant of exercise.
Although I found a private specialist willing to prescribe me just with testosterone (after a pointless detour via the endocrinology department of my local NhS hospital), they also said a) there were other benefits to standard HRT (oestrogen/progesterone) and b) that my body might start converting the testosterone to oestrogen if that started to run low too (which was inevitable given my age).
Anyway this is a somewhat unusual route into HRT so not necessarily that helpful but I think we are all have our own stories/experiences. The annoying thing is that not all doctors are in a position to give clear and confident advice, plus it's so hard to even see a doctor at the moment in some areas. I feel a lot of women are suffering alone.
There are no reliable tests you can do for menopause. Oestrogen fluctuates through the month. At 45 a 'diagnosis' should be done on symptoms (of which there about 40). Whilst it would be lovely to think there's a test that clears things up neatly, there isn't. Sometimes it's just trial and error eg take HRT for six months and see what happens.
I found Louise Newson's website and podcasts very useful whilst undertaking my research. She's become a slightly controversial figure as she clearly thinks most women should be on HRT and early. Personally I think we need someone like this to undo all the damage of the flawed 2002 study that led to HRT prescriptions dropping significantly. But as always it really is up to each person to decide what is right for them. We know our own bodies best, have particular family histories, and we all react differently. I'd been on the pill for years and my body loved it for balancing my hormones when others obviously react badly. I see HRT as a safer version of the pill particularly at my age (without the contraceptive bit of course!). I've had no side effects with progesterone when plenty of others do.
And then of course it could have absolutely nothing to do with your hormones! 40s can be a tough time if you have caring responsibilities and also the time when you realise you are definitely not young any more! The Happiness Curve is an interesting read for anyone feeling a bit dissatisfied in this decade.
PP is right that Jan is depressing plus the general state of things in the UK right now but you will know if this seems more than that as this isn't so new!