Support at work during peri menopause

[CoQ10]

I've just posted on another thread.

I've had a shit year due to peri menopause:

1. Chronic fatigue, which took me off work for three months (GP incorrectly diagnosed long covid and tried to prescribe me anti depressants) and again for two months after I tried to return to work prematurely.

1. Huge loss of personal confidence and anxiety.

1. Bursts of anger and irritability towards my kids.

I also completely messed up a promotion interview that I should have sailed through, largely as a result of major confidence loss. I couldn't answer simple questions that were asked of me, despite being a competent and confident person.

I've subsequently recently passed the promotion and am on HRT and (at my request!) testosterone.

However, the support I've received at work has been sporadic and inconsistent. No one talks about menopause, I was naive completely to my initial symptoms, and I don't feel that managers and career counsellors are equipped to support women going through this.

I nearly resigned 12 months ago from my 22-year career. To leave feeling the way I did back then would have been sad and a huge personal loss for me and the organisation, which would have had to then spend a fair amount recruiting to replace me .

I have quietly been lobbying various senior men at work on this topic and I have the attention of one of our global leaders who wants to meet me on the 19th January to understand what I went through and how I believe things need to improve. He alluded to his own family's circumstances in an email, so I am expecting the conversation to be very much two-way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on what workplace support should look like for women aged 40 plus. Has anything your employer done helped you? I want to share some thoughts on what I think my organisation could do to ensure we retain women who might be menopausal and having to cope with all the physical and mental challenges that it throws up at us, often for many years.

All thoughts are welcome, and please also include any horror stories related to workplace support (or lack of) too, if appropriate.

Thank you!

CIPD guidance for HR teams

My workplace has had a lot of open discussions about menopause which has been helpful if the short term goal is to increase recognition and allow women to discuss problems more openly.

Unfortunately it’s also made a lot of men think that all women over 45 are basically useless. And considering the men make up most of the senior management, it hasn’t helped career prospects (albeit the discrimination is not open).

What support would you like? In hindsight if you'd only gone to your GP and started HRT long ago, work wouldn't have been as bad.

Peri menopausal had been in the news, tv programmes for some time now.

What "workplace support" will you be asking for?

If you're a marketing head and have a few duff campaigns, you're out. At least in US companies.

Hi all
There are some quite different views and feelings about my question on here! I'll try and answer some of the questions you asked first of all:

I am not a journalist.

I have worked at this organisation for 22 years, and have an exemplary record, hence why i imagine I was given the time off (altho my salary did drop as a result of the time i was off because of our sickness policy)
I worked in my new role (the promotion) before being promoted for a whole year so wasnt paid as much as three peers (all men I might add) who were doing the same job until i 'passed' the promotion interview - so my salary uplift was paused for a year. That grated if I am honest as the sum involved was substantial. I also missed a bonus uplift which again grated, given my actual day to day performance and feedback was on a par with those three men.

This year has been the worst of my entire career here, which I struggle with. I love my job and the organisation and I feel there are some lessons to be learnt from my experience.
It was a new boss in January who got me referred to Occupational Health immediately, which changed things around. The OH nurse happened to be a menopause expert and picked up that that was the issue, not long Covid.
I wanted to hear from others who might have experienced similar.
I have not suffered visible symptoms (mine have all been mental/fatigue) until Christmas day when (thank god) I was at home, but i flooded severely and was very ill. Had I been at work that day, I am not sure how I would have coped.

Equally I sleep well. When i see the post above of the lady who has poor sleep and bad night sweats, I think of the impact that would have on me at work and my performance.

I liken the way we think and (dont) talk about menopause to the way we used to think and not talk about mental health at work. It was a hidden illness that was shameful.
The world has moved on. Most men will have wives, sisters, daughters and I dont believe that the menopause or periods should be shameful or hidden.

I would like the conversation about menopause to be positive not negative.
I think there is absolutely an education piece that needs addressing (not necessarily at work, but I know it needs to happen) and I'd like men to be part of that.

What support would I like?

A menopause policy
A review of our other policies such as disciplinary/ under performance / sickness and whether they are fair for someone who may be menopausal and suffering debilitating symptoms over a long time
A review of our sickness policy to consider whether it is appropriate for someone who is going through menopause.
Training on menopause for anyone (male and female) who leads a team on how to support someone who is going through menopause
Training (optional) for women over 40 to help them recognise the symptoms and what to do if they experience them, where to go for help and support at work and also how to manage GPs and getting a diagnosis! This might generate a reaction in some of you but I dont know how else women can be educated on this - like someone said above, the younger me would have scoffed a year ago - I was flying through my 40s and into my 50s thank you and was health personified, and loving life and work post Covid. Err not so fast thank you.... my body had something to say about that, and here we are today and life is a little different!
More education on the topic generally to reduce the taboo
More role modelling by senior women and men who talk about this topic - like we have on mental health
A clearer direction on what to do if one of your team is unwell - this is a broader issue, but I should have been referred to OH immediately. My previous boss was male and a bit of an arse and I couldnt speak to him about this. Had I been referred quicker I would not have been off work so long.

Updating of our systems to give the organisation more data - so currently when i am unwell i have to log the reason on our Peoplesoft system. Menopause isnt mentioned so the organisation has no data on % of those affected as it does for other illnesses.

This is just my brain dump from reading your posts and thinking about what could be different or improved at work to help others. I am not representative of everyone clearly hence why i came on here. I have been lucky in some respects and I realise that.

Please keep the thoughts coming as regardless of what I think, I am interested to hear about others' experiences. My meeting with Mr Global Senior Man is on the 19th and i would like to go in with my thoughts on a) why this matters and b) some ideas of things we do differently as an organisation going forward.

thank you.

The OH nurse happened to be a menopause expert and picked up that that was the issue

What did the OH nurse do for you, OP?
I am guessing that nurse did none of the "What would I like" things, which is why you struggled and advocate for them now, but still, nurse did something else that helped. What was that?

My separate thoughts on OP's "What I would like list"

I despair of written policies on every topic in the world, so much pointless bureaucracy. Even worse when people are expected to remember all this bumpf.

That said, I can't raise objection as long as I (as a non-manager) don't have to flipping engage with a single word of it, or i can politely ignore/ make generic sympathy noises / escape quickly if someone starts talking as though I must be interested. I would screech objections if the "education" training courses became mandatory.

This thread is reinforcing to me why I never ever in a month of zillion Sundays want to be a manager. Let that stuff stay above my paygrade.

ps: I Think acting-up job roles without matching pay increase might be common practice post-Brexit/Covid/FinCrisis, at least in public sector. One of my colleagues is furious about it.

This is identical where I work (do we work together? 😁).

To be honest the Menochat is the most useful thing. For us it's a just a drop in chat for anyone who wants to talk to others going through it. It's organised by the Women's network (one of several affinity networks) so someone just hosts the call but it's just an informal chat.

We may work for the same organisation- it’s pretty big!