Change of career due to menopause

[CelesteM]

Hi, I currently work in a professional role in a senior position. This last year has been like a nightmare to me with menopause symptoms, trying different HRTs, two covid infections and becoming recently single with two teens. I feel like I just can’t cope anymore especially now I have no support. I really dread going to work and come home exhausted! Most weekends I’m resting recovering from my week.
I finally got my hrt sorted and most of my menopause symptoms have settled down, but I just feel like I can’t cope in my role anymore and have lost my confidence at work. It doesn’t help that’s it male dominated and I feel so middle aged amongst my young team. A few of my girlfriends also going through meno have told me to resign and find a less stressful part time job. They are either working part time or have left executive careers. Even my doctor has recommended this as I’ve been quite unwell this year with menopause, long covid symptoms and general fatigue. She’s worried about my long term health.
Has anyone taken a step down in their career due to menopause or if not how did you adjust to your current job? My current employer isn’t very flexible with no wfh, part time or leave options. Thank you!

Me, a few months ago! I couldn't bear any of it any more due to very similar reasons to you. I work in a supermarket now, when I was in the civil service. Its a massive relief.

Thanks! I was just thinking I’m the only over 50 female in my office at the moment! Did you find it hard to change roles? Did it take time to get use to? I’m worried I will get bored! Also, the pay cut will hurt, but will be manageable.

Not yet but I'm really considering it although I need to be confident I can manage financially with the rise in the price of everything.
It's so different being in a senior role when you don't sleep well, can't remember things and feel muddled.
One thing I have done in my current role is drop one day a week: work slightly longer four days and reduced my contract by four hours. I had to push for it but this has made a positive difference although sadly not quite enough for me not to be looking for a way out.
Could you consider this or even a job share?

Thanks for your reply! The current role is full time, minimum 9 hr days, as I lead a team that has constant deadlines and we’re discouraged to wfh. The company is very inflexible. I knew that when I started and was fine, but with menopause coming on so quickly this year and my two covid infections in 4 months, I just feel miserable and exhausted all the time and have started to dread Monday mornings!

A lot of people reassess their careers in midlife, both men and women.

You don't have to stick with what you are doing, forever.

Can you not talk to HR about reducing your hours because of your covid infections? You clearly aren't well still and maybe need some adjustment to your work.

Life is too short, go for what will make you happiest

Thanks! Yes I could talk to my HR manager about reducing hours, but I’m not sure how well it would go with them. I had to basically beg for a few days off over the recent school break and made to feel guilty taking time off during my covid infections. I have a feeling would just be replaced by a younger and more ambitious team member!

I think the job market is really interesting at the moment. Listening in my office, apparently it's hard to recruit good, senior people so it could be a great time for you to look for a new role. I recently went back into a 'proper' job after nearly ten years of freelancing and while it's different circumstances to yours, I was able to find a company who would be flexible to what I wanted (part time mostly wfh).
Why not find a good recruitment agency and have a chat with them? And good luck, sounds like you've had a rough time of it. New job could be really exciting!

Are you sure you couldn't just change companies? Min 9h day with constant deadlines is a killer in the end for most people. No time for creativity or recharge. The job market is good atm.

Agree you should speak to an agency. There's lots of wfh flexible roles out there.

I also hate my job so can sympathise, albeit I mostly wfh and 32 hours per week. Relentless Teams meetings, messages and requests coming in from multiple systems constantly.

Sounds like you need to find a better company to work for. I'd try that before switching careers.

Good luck x

I dropped a day and took the decision to not get as involved. I turn up at my start time and leave bob-on my finish time, I do what I’m paid to, and no more.
I now sleep better and feel in control.
I do know many women who retired or changed to less stressful jobs at this age. I see it as winding down to retirement.

Thanks @KangarooKenny and @wellillbedamned Yes I need to start just working my hours and maybe try asking for one day less a week. Otherwise I’ll start looking elsewhere!

Me too. Well to a degree. I'm going part time, cutting my hours in half. It can't all be done and I just don't want to anymore.I used to love my job and now I count the hours down until I can go home.

Yes , I used to work in a clinical role and now do a very boring admin job , I do give it my all but I'm not really interested in it .I watch my younger colleagues who, rightly so, are so enthusiastic and invested in the company , they work all hours and I just can't be bothered with it all. The company do seem to care about the staff but there's lots of redundancies on the horizon and I am not prepared to work my arse off for a big corporate who can get rid of you just like that.
Once menopause hit me , I seem to have a totally different outlook on life, none of what I do at work now is so important that I lose sleep over it.

Change companies? There’s plenty of nice flexible companies out there. I’ve been to my office 4 days this in the last month. When I had covid I had sympathy. I earn a big wedge, look around. Book a holiday in the sun.

Your mantra can be “strong, successful and happy”

Yes, I changed from practising law to teaching, for a variety of reasons but mostly menopause.

I’m a bit you in reverse in that menopause hysterectomy cancer etc lost me a senior job five years ago and now I am happily the other side but in a assistant manager post on half the salary I used to get and in a different industry. I am full time I can’t get my head around part
time.

My current job meets all my needs etc I work from home the salary is adequate it’s challenging due to deadlines but achievable and I like the role but I seem to long for that senior position and salary, I’m contemplating a job advert now!

It’s a head and heart decision.

Nothing wrong with stepping back a bit if you can … if your heart agrees.

Do what's achievable and makes you happy. I'm in a very low paid role right now and menopause has been brutal for me. I couldn't do anything more challenging if I tried!

Just looking through this topic.

I am mid-40s and am currently moving up in my career rather fast, and am being encouraged to apply for an SCS role in a male-dominated CS environment. Some weeks I know I can do this easily, but then the other weeks hit, like today, and I stare at my laptop not knowing how to respond to the most simple request. I need to champion some new ways of working, and growth mindset stuff and I just want to laugh at it. It talks about how attitude is a choice, and we must challenge people with negative attitudes. Sometimes I don't feel my attitude is a choice, not when my hormones are dropping and I feel out of control. It just all annoys me and I'm not sure I want it anymore.

I could have written much of this myself! I am a senior management role in a male- dominated industry. Constant demands and unreasonable deadlines, working 1.5x my contracted hours, permanent wfh which I hate, and told I am being negative when I try and raise any of these issues. Yesterday I was so wiped out I sat and stared at my laptop blankly and set-up imaginary meetings all day to free up time to try (and fail) to get a GP appointment to adjust my HRT. I’d love to try and retrain in something physical - painting/decorating or furniture restoration - or dealing with people face-to-face - maybe teaching. But don’t have the headspace to plan it. I’ve always been so ambitious, will I regret the move? I’d love to hear success stories of those who’ve made menopause-influenced career changes.

I am a senior manager, 52, but I only work part-time now due to health issues (not just menopause).

I would really struggle to work full-time.

I still have a busy role with sometimes tight deadlines but being part-time and working remotely most of the time makes it much easier and I am really enjoying it. The salary is quite good, so even part-time I have enough to live on.

I think you also get to a point where you realise that life is short and you really don't want to spend all your time destroying your health for an employer who might not even necessarily value you.

Hi everyone! Thank you for your replies! Sorry I gave been off mumsnet for the last few weeks. Checked back in and found all these encouraging replies! Still at my job, but will make a big effort to find a new company to work for part time in the New Year. Our office shuts down for 3 weeks over Christmas so I’m just going to hang in there until then and look for something in the new year. At least I know now I won’t go back to a full time management role! Thanks again!

Good luck with it! You’ve been through a lot recently and hopefully you’ll find a new company which can offer you some flexibility.