Ending a relationship

[Runaround50]

Have any of you ended a relationship/ divorced/separated during menopause?

Been with partner a significant number of years, two teen kids, but I'm becoming increasing irritated by him. To the point where I'm looking to move out and start afresh.

I think we are two totally different people who seen to have grown apart.

My Hrt is not optimised at all and I'm all over that place right now. I've tried lots of different types and doses of hrt and none seem to keep me stable for very long. Currently I have a mirena coil in place for progesterone, but struggling to get the oestrogen right.

The thought of moving out seems daunting, but I think it's the right thing to do.

Personally I would not make any major life descions when your HRT is all over the place. I too am in an roller coaster of HRT not working.

I too feel like pressing the f-it button but how can I make any descions when my brain is all fogged up and I feel like I'm am going crazy. Is it him , is it me, is it the hormones?

What I have done is relationship counselling to deal with the current situation and am taking one day at a time.

I did end mine and all has clicked into place, but we didn't have kids. You seem quite resolute?? I'm also of the view that our hormones work FOR us, as part of our wisdom and knowing. It may be hard, but I try and trust mine.

@cosmosforall thank you so much for replying. This is EXACTLY what I'm asking myself; me, him, hormones?? No clue.

I'm so close to wanting out.. been looking at rentals, assessing finances etc etc

My brain is cabbaged!

I just don't know what to do.

Is relationship counselling working for you?

@something2say yes I am resolute.
I think it's the right thing to do.
I think my hormones are trying to tell me something. That after years of having my head in the sand, maybe it's time to part, daunting as it seems.

I came very very close. Then started Tibolone. Thank goodness. I mean, he's still as annoying as fuck but I don't want to do allllllllll the shizzle on my own. The fact that everyone else was incredibly annoying as well was a hint that it wasnt all him. You wouldn't lose anything by getting on the right hormone support and then taking a view.

I do think a lot of breakups are menopause related in various ways.

Have you thought about trying counselling? It might help to talk about it all to someone who is impartial.

Only you can work out if the menopause has exacerbated feelings you have suppressed for years, or if you are less tolerant now because of hormonal blips.

Have you asked yourself if he is doing things that have always annoyed you but you have been more forgiving? Or are you now at 50-ish realising who you are and what you want?

There is a big difference between being short tempered and grumpy because of hormones, and not feeling you want the same things out of life with someone, for your next 30-40 years.

Do you share the same values, dreams, ambitions, and how you want to spend your time now and once the kids have left home?

Have you sat down and talked to him about how you feel?
If he promised to change or meet halfway with whatever you want,would that work, or are you just no longer in love or want to spend the rest of your life with him?

Could you support yourself? Do you work? What would life look like a single person now?

Still none the wiser.
Partner is a good few years older than me and the age gap is showing now.
I'm not convinced we are compatible. He's quite awkward and wooden at times. I have a job and would rent and probably claim UC.

We do share some common interests and like similar films / tv etc.
We like eating out together.

I'm working on the sex side of things. VA and loss of libido have made things tough. He's also dealing with his own mid life crisis ( poor sleep and worries about money etc).

I'm not the easiest of people to be in a relationship with either; particularly now the menopause has struck.

I can imagine myself living a single life I think.

He isn't going to change. Weird upbringing, very wooden, lack of emotion etc but fear of rejection I think.

It is so hard to figure out isn't it.
I always wanted to get the dcs grown up before I thought about myself so threw myself into an all consuming career.
Now it is just the 2 of us I feel the same as you OP.
Mine is only nice to get sex which has pretty much gone out of the window in the last year due to shift patterns and his failure to switch off the tv and bother with me.
Housemates would sum us up.