Actually feel like I'm going crazy irractic behaviour...

[Meltinthemiddle]

Basically after lockdown I turned 40 and I quit my job of 10 years, I have then jumped to one bad job to another. I've always played it safe stuck to the same old, same old, but recently I've been feeling overwhelmed and when I've encountered something challenging I end end up quiting! This recent job is the worst as totally not for me as different area but I'm panicking about given notice after a short time because I know I sound crazy and unstable and unreliable which isn't me normally. To be honest because I don't know what I want. I'm not sure if it's just the line of work I'm in and so it's all rubbish conditions or if its me and the fact I will never be happy anywhere. I want to work part time but when I do I worry about money. I want the opposite to what I want and when I get it I'm not happy. I'm hot and cold with dh. Having night sweats which are also interrupting my sleep. I feel down and just miserable most days. I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode.

Sorry you're having a rough time.

Night sweats are a classic peri symptom but I'd see the gp to rule out anything else eg hyperthyroidism. It's more likely to be peri menopause though.

Usually it's hot flushes and night sweats that trigger a menopause diagnosis and hrt. If you are 45 you don't need blood tests. They may give you tests but these can be erratic in peri.

So I would go to tbe gp first of all and discuss your symptoms, especially night sweats and sleep. If you don't get anywhere, track everything really religiously - you may see a pattern with cycle, and go back. I had to go back a few times before i got hrt (by then I was 44 though. I also hadn't counted / mentioned over heating at night.)

Thank you for your reply, its weird as I'm up and down and can't make a decision without panicking and anxiety setting in. I'm always tired and now overweight too. But the night sweats have been more recent. Normally I'm afraid to make a decision but now I just do it and panic after. Wondering if it could be thyroid issues too.

Gp should rule that out as standard as it's common for it to go kaphut in middle aged women. (Mine went bust at 20!)

however perimenopause really does mimic thyroid issues too - I never had any aches and pains with hypothyroidism at all. I personally think that's listed as a symptom as it's usually menopausal women who have hypothyroidism. My aches and pains have been awful with peri.

I feel like I am on the verge of doing something erratic or in some ways want to revert back to my 20's (my life as it is doesn't provide much opportunity thankfully). Heavily in perimenopause with responsibilities (mainly young dc). Trying to stay rational and entering therapy soon as I find it all a bit overwhelming and need to talk it out (friends don't seem to be going through this).

I want the opposite to what I want and when I get it I'm not happy

This is what I keep coming back to and keeping in mind. My relationship is not in a good place but it feels like the wrong time to do something drastic and I question my judgement as I am aware my hormones are everywhere (can't take hrt, so muddling through and waiting for it to hopefully, pass).

Thank you for replying. My heart and head is racing. I just feel so anxious and on edge. I genuinely don't feel like me.

I'm the same, anxious, irritable, tearful. No sweats tho, just be lucky to be avoiding that so far..

Same with job too, it's just too much, too chaotic and I haven't the patience I used to have.

10:46 on woman's hour today, Gp discussion around womens use of antidepressants but the question is asked about hrt - she's says from age of 40 women can be peri and the mental symptoms can come before the physical. In which case hrt is first line to address, but the education isn't there yet.

Which poses the question for 40 yr olds, how do they get hrt at 40 when still menstruating!

But if she's saying that for a 40 year old (not all!) then it's vital for a 45-50 year old who's having difficulties.

I would get a blood test to be sure it's not a thyroid issue.

I'm classic mid 40s crisis point. I have had a few weeks of erratic behaviour and thinking. Im thinking recklessly, not giving a toss about anything just want to feel a spark again, feel anything again rather than fed up and irritated and exhausted. To feel alive and excited instead of dead, old achey and apathetic.

I've had to pull myself back from doing all sorts of things that frankly are very unwise and could easily blow up my world and that of my family. I flit between hating everyone to fancying every man going (except dh who is just permanently irritating).

I know I'm peri but I had no idea it could do this. I'm off to see gp next week to discuss before I end up doing something I can't come back from 😒. The joys

Describes me perfectly 😜😡😞

Crying for an hour today, prior to which had a 'heated discussion' with my manager

This afternoon feel great

Frightened I may do something I regret

Being pulled in too many directions

IamSamantha I could have written your post almost word for word. I think I am genuinely unhappy in my relationship and this is fuelling everything but not in the right state to make any big decisions. Trying to reign myself in too. Tricky.

Is it every day or is it cyclical?
I was fine whilst my estrogen levels were okay, nothing bothered me, I multi tasked, could organise things, actually looked forward to doing things - once the second half of my cycle kicked in, I was unrecognisable, felt really anxious about everything, hopeless, useless, stupid, scared, off the scale emotional, unreliable, unable to even follow a recipe or clean the house methodically - I was prescribed HRT for peri and Thyroxine for under active thyroid - they both definitely helped.

My Palpitations were caused by low ferritin.
I calmed down when I had a Mirena fitted.
But if I were you I’d try HRT for 6 months and see how you feel. That’s what I’m going to do.

. I flit between hating everyone to fancying every man going (except dh who is just permanently irritating).

What is this do you think - hormones or more to it?

Oh and I never had a hot flush or night sweat, they were the classic peri indicators I was waiting for.

I flit between hating everyone to fancying every man going (except dh who is just permanently irritating).

Just been reading about the 'sex surge' in the perimenopause and I think this is happening to me. My relationship is not good if I'm honest and hasn't been for quite some time (years now) unfortunately. Probably need joint counselling to see if it is salvageable. Meanwhile I have been working quietly on myself and getting myself more centred, starting a small business, developing interests, focusing on dc etc. and just muddling along. Now this surge has happened which is showing me what I'm potentially missing and what is probably being described above. Previously low libido so not particularly bothered about current circumstances. This is the last thing I need. I've also lost a fair bit of weight (I was overweight and felt very unhealthy) and I've acquired curves again. I'm entering therapy in two weeks time and hoping this is going to save my sanity. I think, given the right circumstances I could do something irrational. I might copy this and start another thread. Anyone?

@Nowweareold yep I can relate to this.
Peri made me do some weird things where men were involved.
I did indeed do something which frankly makes me cringe now, but at the time, I couldn't help it!

Just call it a ' surge ' in hormones!

Runaround50 Thanks for replying. What is your best advice? Stay in the house and don't come out under any circumstances for instance???

It truly is wierd and erratic behaviour inducing. I can see how easy it would be to do something (given the opportunity) which looking back might make you cringe. Hope it doesn't last too long (for the sake of my sanity). I feel a bit like I'm twenty something not nearly 50. Plus responsibilities including relatively young dc.