Could trying oestrogen make you worse if you don’t need it ?

[KangarooKenny]

I don’t have hot flushes and sleep ok etc. My concern is my personality I suppose. I can’t work out if my marriage is rubbish because of my attitude due to peri, or because of things that have gone on in it.
I have less patience, really don’t give a fuck, don’t really want to go out/on holiday because I’m happy at home/walking the dog/going to the shops/work.
But my marriage is on the line and so I’m thinking about adding a bit of oestrogen to my Mirena coil to see if it helps. Perhaps I’m suffering more than I think.
I’m concerned about trying it and it making me worse. There have been threads on here recently where people have complained about sore boobs etc due to it.
If I were to try it, and it didn’t suit, could I end up worse off ?

Anyone ?

Hi

The thing with peri / menopause/ hormones, is that you really do start to evaluate life/ relationship/job etc.

It's like you happily continue for so many years, then bang, you begin to pick up on things which aren't right and fixate on them. I blame that on a shift in hormones and being lost and wiser.

What are the key issues with your marriage do you think?

Menopause isn't always about hot flushes and insomnia. It can be the realisation that things are not as they should be, or just a general lack of motivation to do stuff.

You stand nothing to lose by adding a bit of oestrogen to your body.

Maybe try half a pump to begin with, to see how that feels?

Everyone reacts differently to Hrt and it can take a while to adjust to a new surge in hormones ( the body depletes over a long period of time ).

Plus, don't underestimate the power of oestrogen. The receptors are everywhere and when they start to deplete, issues can arise, impacting our thinking and the way to rationalise.

Meant being older and wiser!

It’s a really weird time. I noticed my patience with everyone and everything vanished and my focus has shifted a lot more to me. Timings not especially convenient as I had a child late and am now menopausal with a teenager in the house. 🙈 HRT might help and give you a boost but meno really seems to be a time of huge change in all sorts of areas of life. I think also for me lockdown and the pandemic changed my perspective on things too. Like you I’m not feeling the desire to go out much, go on holiday dunno if that’s menopause or just post pandemic, state of the world stuff. 🤷‍♀️ I reckon HRT’s worth trial to see how you feel with it.

If something as fundamental as your marriage is on the rocks, it's bound to impact on everything else.

It's not clear if you mean your marriage is on the line because you don't want to do anything (holidays etc)or if your marriage has other issues going on.

Which comes first?

I don't think HRT is there to save a marriage if you are unhappy but if your peri behaviour is causing issues, that's another issue.

No, marriage not on the line because I don’t want to do anything. It’s because I’ve less tolerance for the things that have gone on in the past. Unfortunately I’m not a forgive or forget person.
I wonder if I’m worse than I think, and Ive seen that with people who have a problem/illness, they don’t realise how bad they really are.
I don’t think I’m a particularly nice person any more, my tolerance is low and I’m quite sarcastic because of it. I’d like everyone to go away !
I wonder if oestrogen would give me my caring side back.

@Fififizz I totally get what you mean about low tolerance etc and having a teen in the house. I have two teens and struggle a lot with the demands placed on me, the selfishness of them times and their unwillingness to just help in the bloody house!

@KangarooKenny give a HRT a go. I empathise with you. I just want people to buggar off too. Can't be bothered with small talk and want my bed by
8.30pm.

If there were fundamental cracks in your relationship which were there before menopause stuff, chances are they won't go away, even with HRT.

It might be hard for your GP to prescribe HRT if all you say is you are intolerant now! Most want some classic meno symptoms although that can include mood swings etc.

It won't do you any harm, but start on a low dose and see how it helps, if you can get it.

It's sometimes hard to differentiate between changes that are 'normal' due to age and something that's more meno.

I am far less tolerant now and not very sociable but I put that down to being older ( well into my 60s) and only wanting to put in the effort with people I care about. Don't have the time or emotional energy for people who aren't meeting me half way if that makes sense.