Are most women in perimenopause by the age of 49?

[Thetoasterhasbroken]

I turned 49 last month.
I have been feeling crap for the last 4 or 5 years.
I have spoken with 3 GPs and they all say I am not yet in peri as I have regular periods (albeit extremely heavy which lead to excessively low ferritin levels and an iron infusion, I had an ablation last month due to these periods).
However, I have so many symptoms of Perimenopause and they are affecting my life to the point that I am at my lowest I have ever been and feel my life is really over and I’m just existing (I am being a drama queen, I know but it’s genuinely how I feel).

Most of these symptoms are daily, such as
Exacerbation of IBS and also upper digestive issues (endless tests with a
gastroenterologist but all clear)
VERY excessive anxiety (and panic) from the moment I wake (am having counselling and hypnotherapy but it’s not helping) This and the digestive issues are my most troublesome symptoms.
Absolutely zero libido and would be happy never to have sex again although
this is causing issues between DH and I.
Mood swings - I am on a rollercoaster when it comes to my emotions. Ok one
minute then crying/sobbing the next.
Exhausted often, to the point I could go to bed at 8pm.
Sleep issues - can sleep like a log for weeks then switch to waking every night.
Hot sweats in the night a week before period.
Very tender/sore breast especially before period and mid cycle.
Depressed and very low.

The GPs I have spoken with all say that because my periods were regular and no definite, regular hot flashes then I am not ‘quite’ there. They offer me antidepressants, which exacerbate my already crap IBS.

My mum was around 52 when she went into menopause and thinking back (she has Alzheimer’s so I sadly can’t ask her), I remember her crying a lot at my age and saying she had a bad tummy, headaches and felt she was on her way out!!

As much as I would love to see a private menopause specialist I can not afford it right now. I have filled in forms to switch GP surgeries and just hope I get somewhere with a new GP 🤞

Surely I must be in perimenopause by now, especially with these symptoms?
Why won’t anyone take me seriously? I feel like they think I am exaggerating everything and being a nuisance but I honestly feel like shit, it’s miserable.

I'm 43 and have started with some of these symptoms but GP said that as I'm having regular periods there is nothing to worry about.

My main issue is fitful sleep and hot and cold flashes. I wake up sweating then get back to sleep and wake up again because I'm too cold.

I've also put on half a stone, all around my middle and I just can't shift it.

I have a lot of those symptoms (late 40s) and regular periods. Doctors are not very helpful, especially because I still have regular periods.

I am 49 and have been on hrt for 2 years. Met up with some old school friends recently so all the same age and I would say about 70% of us having some symptoms, about 30% are having regular periods and no symptoms still.

Most of my friends in the same age bracket have symptoms, some are on HRT, a few like me where the GP has just offered antidepressants. I have a 60 year old friend who said her periods stopped at 48, she thought she was pregnant as she had zero menopause symptoms and has not had a single symptom since, lucky bugger!

I'm 48 and still having regular periods but have so many peri symptoms -
Dry skin, hair, vagina
Frequent urine infections
Aches and pains
Anxiety
Anger
Hot flushes
Night sweats
Insomnia
Itchy skin
Weight gain
Brain fog

GP told me that as my periods are still regular there's nothing they can do. It's so frustrating.

It’s beyond frustrating isn’t it? I just feel like my pleas for help fall on deaf ears.

I'm 46 and went straight on hrt last year with fewer symptoms. It's a horrible lottery of care, a disgrace that you've not had more help.

It's terrible that no-one educates us about this. I mean - what even happens with periods? I thought they got further apart. Then I read they got closer together first. Then I read they can just suddenly stop completely without either happening. Or are all women different and they are all right?

@Thetoasterhasbroken Can you see another GP? It's just not true that you need to have irregular periods and hot flushes to be in peri. You have all the other symptoms!

Many GPs are useless re. meno and yours sounds like one of them.

I'm afraid you need to be very assertive or refer yourself to a private meno specialist if that is affordable. £250-ish for an appt.

If you want to be more assertive, print off a list of peri symptoms- there are lists of up to 34 online- try the Balance website by Dr Louise Newson. Take this to your GP. Say in very simple words that unless there is a real medical contraindication not to, you want to try HRT.

These GPs get away with too much poor treatment of women- stand up for yourself in the nicest way!

I'm 43 and I've been in hrt for 4 months. I still have regular periods. My gp prescribed it no issues. My periods began to be horrific forgetfulness confusion etc. Have a look at Louise newton website, arm yourself with info and see another gp. Look at facebook groups too really useful for info and advice

JinglingHellsBells superplumb I have explained my symptoms to approx 3 GPs at my current practice and 1 from a different surgery (who was my age and referred to woman as ‘girls’, made me cringe so had to stop seeing him), they have all dismissed me. Sadly, I just can not afford a private consultation atm but I have started the process of joining a different practice so fingers crossed I will get somewhere. I will print everything off and go fully prepared this time.
But it really does knock your confidence (already down because of bloody Perimenopause), when they make you feel as though these symptoms are nothing much or ‘just’ anxiety. These symptoms are literally controlling my life rights now.

Well the average age of menopause is early 50s and peri is 5-10 years before, so I'd say yes.

I don't know if this is of any help, but Dr Heather Currie who is a menopause gynae (NHS in Scotland) and runs Menopause Matters website offers email consultations for £30. She can answer questions and although she can't force your GP to offer HRT, she may say something in her reply to you that could help.

You could copy and paste your first post to her so she gets the full picture.

www.menopausematters.co.uk/contact-the-doctor.php

Your other option is to ask to be referred to an NHS gynae as you have already been treated by one for heavy periods. TBH the after-care from them ought to have included a discussion about your peri symptoms and how to manage them, not just the bleeding.

I have much the same symptoms as you, except I have had a slight change to frequency and length of my periods. My GP started me on HRT yesterday. I am 44 and had no problems accessing it. As someone else upthread said I imagine mid forties and up would be the right age for peri.

I don't know what to suggest. If you have outright asked for HRT and been refused I guess another practice might be a better option. It is appalling that women are still being denied access to HRT. Good luck Op.

JinglineHellsBells I’ve been under gynae for 6 years due to ongoing issues with uterine polyps. I’ve asked several gynaecologists if I could be referred to the menopause clinic but am told I need to ask my GP to refer me!
I will most definitely look into the Menopause Matters email consultation though, thank you.

I'd be tempted to just say periods were irregular even if not true just to get the referral.

What appalling treatment (or none) you have had by all these drs. Gynaes can prescribe HRT and write to your GP.

Madness.

Just lie about your periods? Oh yes they've been all over the place recently.

GP's are the last people you should go to about peri-menopause/menopause. They know fuck all about it, it's actually shameful how ignorant they are. Do yourself the biggest favour of your life and go to a private clinic. Everything your GP has said is totally wrong.

I had all these symptoms during late 30s, was on my knees by 44.

I think I'm closer to completing than I thought as hrt has made periods go awol as has now covid too.

Peri is supposed to last for around 8 (even 10) years before periods stop. Menopause is going without a period for a year.

Nhs website says the average age is 51, with 45-55 being within the norm. Some women carry on for longer.

Which means that you can be in early peri from late 30s. Menopausal at 46.

To answer the question, yes, very likely.

I think I'm right in saying that the reason that women of 45 years and over can be prescribed HRT based on symptoms alone, is because they're so likely to be in peri. Have a look at the symptom checker on the balance app (menopause doctor - Louise Newsam). There's so many symptoms that I was experiencing that I didn't even know were due to peri. I just thought I was rapidly getting old and falling apart! I still have regular periods, HRT for almost a year.

Your doctors are idiots. I was having regular periods, but due to vulva symptoms that weren't clearing up after a year they referred me to a woman's clinic at the hospital. The nurse specialist there said as soon as she read my notes she concluded, ' All this woman needs is to be on HRT' . I went on it and the symptoms went away. I was 48 then.

I wish GPs would fuck off with the ' if you are having regular periods you can't be in peri' bollocks. Its clearly shite.

The average age of menopause is 51, so yes, most women are peri-menopausal at your age.

I wouldn't normally recommend lying to GPs but in your case I would say that your periods are now irregular and point out all the other symptoms too which are congruent with Peri.

Poorer women who cant afford private treatment are going to be at the mercy of misogynist doctors looking to save money.
I would be going back and insisting on some help from the NHS i was forced to lock down for. Davina McCalls new doc about the menopause is on on Monday night. There will be a Twitter hashtag to go with it. Name and shame these GPs and surgeries i say!