Feeling like the worlds ended as I’m on HRT

[Tempnamelady]

After months of terrible sleep and night sweats, ive bitten the bullet and the doctor prescribed oestrogen gel ( i already have a Mirena). I’m 51.
Last year saw the breakdown of my marriage to my not very nice DH, and then the failure of my relationship with a lovely man. I’m struggling to cope with the fallout to the point that I’m considering going back to my husband. I don't know why it is but starting HRT has really upset me. I feel old , unloved and scared that I’m might never love and be loved again.
Am I being irrational ? Ive literally cried all day today between work calls. It just feels like another shit thing that’s happening to me on top of everything else.

Thanks everyone. I’m just emotionally exhausted and this feels like the last straw at the moment. I suppose I underestimate how wearing the crap sleep and hot flushes are, on top of the fact i cry most nights anyway.
I’m lucky that I love the gym and I don't mind working as it gives me focus , which is as well given the hours I put in. But its so long since I felt anything approaching happy that I am really struggling to find my way back.

Maybe if you make that decision to sell your house and move forward- literally it will be weight off your shoulder.

Making choices is hard but once they have been made (and you know what you need to do) you will feel free.

And wonder why you waited so long.

HRT is not being some kind of failure. I really don't get your mindset there. What would be awful is to have all those symptoms and science not to have provided an answer.

@JinglingHellsBells I’m just so conditioned to doing the best for everyone else and putting myself last, i hate confrontation. Who i am in my professional life is so far from how I am in my personal life. The HRT thing just feels like another end, I’m not feeling sorry for myself , I really have had a shitty few years.

It does sound like you’ve had a shit time, but taking the HRT could be the start of better times. What have you got to lose?

Try Dr Newson’s podcast, she has so much useful information and great interviews with experts on Menopause.

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-dr-louise-newson-podcast/id1459614845