Anyones marriage survived the rage? Any tips?

[RagingRagingAndMoreRaging]

I an on HRT. It’s helped with some things but I still find DH intolerable. I get so irritated by his very existence. He does have some universally irritating habits, but my feelings are OTT. I feel like I could happily just walk out sometimes but have a DC so can’t.

Anyone been through this stage? Can you learn to love again? Any tips on quelling the rage?

I’m worried I’ll call it a day and then look back and regret it. He’s a decent man despite being so irritating.

Mine drives me bonkers, too. Vigorous exercise (boxing particularly) helps me. I try to really enjoy the times with him when I don't have the rage and keep some distance between us when I do have the rage so I am less likely to say/do something I don't mean in his presence. HRT has taken the edge off but I am hoping things will improve with time.

I spend as much time on my own or with my iPad books.

Nope, it destroyed mine. It wasn't so much the rage as finally having my eyes opened to what a shit he really was without the rosy glasses of oestrogen on.

Thank you all. I’m in full avoidance mode.

Narc - I think exercise could help. In lots of ways. It’s been really n my to do list. I might try and find a boxing class.

Holo - that’s my current tactic - bed at 8 on my own with TV on IPAD. Good to know I’m not the only one. I’m sure he can feel me seething.

Shehas..sorry to hear that. That’s my dilemma really. Is the rose tint has gone or are my hormones black tinted IYSWIM.

Thanks for taking time to reply. Would be lovely to hear from anyone out the otherside whose marriage struggled but survived.

Tonight 911 otherwise I go in bedroom at nine,

Must be hard to live like this. Do you love him, do you find him attractive at all, do you do anything together?

We can blame the menopause on a lot of things but if you just can't stand the sight of him it may be more than hormone related.

It's a cliche but you both need to make an effort. Get rid of the dc for a night have lots of sex and reconnect. If you have atrophy use oestrogen cream, do whatever you need to get you in the mood. Then you won't care less about any irritating domestic habits he might have.

Or if it's past that point then dc or not, separate for their sake as well as your own. Good luck.

Does the menopause make you feel annoyed and irritated with everyone /life in general or just HIM?

If it's the former, you might need to adjust your HRT! HRT should help moods/ anger.

If it's HIM can you be more specific?
Is it what he DOEs or he is IS? (his character.)

If it's the latter, that is less easy to change.

What attracted you to him in the first place?
Has he changed? Have you?
Do you enjoy doing things together?
Do you have common interests?

Menopause often coincides with other life events - kids leaving home, changes of job/career/ less tolerance (just an age thing I think, not hormonal!)

Maybe some counselling on your own would help to enable you to work out exactly what's happened to your feelings.