Managing monthly pity party

[YellowHpok]

I am 39 and convinced I am in peri. Undergoing tests and hopeful for HRT. Long list of symptoms etc.

By far one of the most challenging is what i can only call my monthly pity party. I have such awful mood swings, want to cry and hide all the time. I can't seem to trust what my brain thinks.

I've had CBT, which has helped, but I'm still miserable.

Currently hiding in bed in tears because I feel slighted by something ridiculous. I'm such a misbag, and it happens every sodding month.

I'm on the coil already, so I don't have periods as such, just a light monthly reminder of my ebbing life.

How do others manage it?

My PMT went haywire as I entered peri. Having a Mirena coil has calmed it down for me.
When are you due a new one ?

Thanks, I'm not due a new one for two years so I don't think it's that

just a light monthly reminder of my ebbing life

I know you’re feeling really down at the moment, but this is brilliantly funny! From this day forth I shall be referring to my own dwindling peri menopausal periods as such

I have no advice on the moods I’m afraid. I’m 42 and was told I was probably peri by my GP back in 2015 after some blood tests to see why my periods had suddenly gone haywire. It’s only recently I’ve noticed a change to my moods, although they’re not too bad - just different. My main problem is migraines. I’m on the waiting list for an appointment at Louise Newson’s menopause clinic and wondering if they’ll recommend HRT.

It’s all fun, isn’t it.

It is so.much.fun!!

Yes yes to the migraines. I nearly took myself off to AED last month after a 6 day migraine extravaganza. GP was very kind thankfully and advised a new approach to managing them.

I drank through my bad mood in the end, with a family bag of chocolate buttons. Very much not my usual approach but it did the trick.

Can see why women turned to opiates in the good ole days. Doubt Louise newsome has any of that to prescribe

Can't help I'm afraid but think I'm in the same boat. I'm 49 and just feeling so low and tearful at the moment. There is alot going on in life with elderly and unwell parents, a challenging 10 year old and a full time job but I just feel so low, tired and fed up. Probably a combination of life events but am sure its not helped by my hormones. Sorry that's not helpful to you but you are not alone, this stage of life is a bit rubbish!

Isn't that the joy of the menopause, no more periods ?

I started getting ridiculous PMT mood swings and premenstrual doom in my late 30s.

I’d always had PMT, but it was suddenly off the charts.

Low dose fluoxetine helped me enormously. Although now 45 and after 6 years of fluoxetine working a treat, I’ve started getting really shitty symptoms again so now considering HRT…

It would be if they’d bloody stop! I don’t have one for 4 months then I have one that lasts a month!

I know what you are feeling OP. My mother isn’t well, my husband isn’t well. My beloved horse is elderly. My best friend died a couple of years ago. I lost a long term job in Covid. I feel like I endure/cope with life rather than enjoy it.

Sorry to hear you're all suffering too. The cluster fuck of life events really takes its toll.

I've had a horrid few years. Things are better now thankfully on the life front, but maybe that is why all the rage and tears are coming out now. Life was just too hard to cope with previously.

Solidarity sisters ✊

Can I join the pity party?

Period is now almost a week late after a randomly long 10 day bleed earlier in the month. Cycle goes from relatively normal to short/long every three months or so. My mood at the moment is up and down on a daily basis, regular headaches, disappearing libido, admittedly none of the really awful physical symptoms of peri but I am regularly visited by that feeling you describe of 'ebbing life' (brilliant description btw) and a sense of the crushing weight of midlife, time wasted, searching for the joy but not really finding it.

Today I just feel so miserable that it's a gorgeous day outside and I'm stuck inside looking at a stupid laptop doing my stupid job. And I feel like that's it - that's the full-time bloody treadmill I'll be tied to for the next 20 odd years. And when I clock off at 5.30 - why then I get to 'look forward' to making sure everyone is fed, clean and clothed and a house so untidy it makes me want to cry.

I KNOW my life is not shit, it really, really isn't - but when the hormonal cloud descends it's getting harder and harder to find the joy.

Sounds like PMDD/ I had it a couple if years ago, and it was awful. Prozac for the two weeks before the period was due worked really well