Weight gain and body shape changes following peri / menopause

[Monr0e]

I'm feeling really very low right now. Over a period of around 12 months I gained around 2 stone in weight. This has coincided with my periods stopping and the start of peri menopause symptoms.

I have gone from a size 12 to a 14/16. But what is getting me down the most is the increase in my chest size. I was previously a 34DD, I am now a 36H. I despise them, none of my clothes fit, everything looks ridiculous on me and it is getting me really down.

On top of that, I seem to no longer be able to lose weight. I don't know what I'm looking for really, similar stories, advice on how to shift all this extra weight? Or do i just need to learn to accept my new body shape.

Sorry for the pity fest but I'm struggling today after turning down another invite to go out as I cannot find clothes I feel comfortable in and I just don't want to carry on feeling like this.

I can understand why you don't like feeling that your body is out of control op, but I think really you need to work on body acceptance as well as diet etc.

I've had a body like yours is now all my life, I was a GG cup before I left school. Should I have been disgusted and repulsed all this time?

If you've been going round thinking of rounder women as gross all this time and now you've joined their ranks, maybe you've actually been doing them a disservice?

I gained over a stone in perimenopause. I lost all the extra weight slowly on the 5:2 diet. The first 2 weeks are very hard but then you get used to it. My recommended calorie in take on non fasting days was 1300,. I didn’t rigidly stick to that all the time. I drank wine and ate out but still lost weight. I also usually didn’t manage to be under 500 calories on fasting days - usually I was between 500 and 600. I preferred 2 hard days to being careful 7 days a week.
I never eat breakfast now. I find this definitely keeps my appetite lower. There is some evidence to suggest skipping breakfast avoids an insulin spike in the morning and for some people it helps keep their weight lower

I sympathise. My peri-menopause coincided with lockdown and the weight just piled on. Here is what helps me, but I realise we're all different:

I am on HRT, but especially testosterone to help with energy levels. It makes a huge difference. You can get testosterone on the NHS in England, but not in Wales. I get mine privately - the money I spend on Drs with expertise in menopause is some of the best money I spend. I use Newson.

I also do strength training. Cardio feels good, but strength helps women our age with weight. I am working with a nutrition coach and counting macros. I don't drink alcohol during the week anymore. I am not losing weight fast like I did when I was younger, but I am not hungry and am losing about .8 pounds a week. It is sustainable. Finally, I found the Eat Right Now app is helping me with recognising emotional eating.

Good luck OP, I hope you find something that works for you. It is a challenge. I am working on the mindset of changing from short term pleasures (food, wine, telly instead of exercise) is not compatible with a healthy approach to ageing - and the effects of the immediate pleasures are harder to correct than they used to be.

@GrendelsGrandma

I can understand why you don't like feeling that your body is out of control op, but I think really you need to work on body acceptance as well as diet etc.

I've had a body like yours is now all my life, I was a GG cup before I left school. Should I have been disgusted and repulsed all this time?

If you've been going round thinking of rounder women as gross all this time and now you've joined their ranks, maybe you've actually been doing them a disservice?

In my case it's not a matter of being rounder, it's a matter of excess flab hanging from a petite frame. There's nothing that could make me feel positive about this.

@GrendelsGrandma, I have at no point said I find "wider women gross" - or said I am disgusted or repulsed. These are all your words, not mine.

I have said the sudden weight gain has left me feeling low and sad, and that I despise my breasts, mine, no one else's. As I have had to throw away 3/4 of my clothes and now have two bras that fit me and I am struggling to find clothes that I can wear and feel comfortable in. This is purely my feelings about myself, please do not put words in my mouth and imply I look at other women as repulsive and disgusting. Something I absolutely do not do.

And I am working on accepting my new body shape as well, such as learning how to dress, Something I am really struggling with is finding clothes that fit well and I feel comfortable in.

Thank you for everyone's thoughts. I'm taking them all on board

@Monr0e I could’ve written your post.
I look at myself and all I see is boobs, belly and bloat. This has been slowly happening over the last year or so and now I’m feeling down about it. I have started HRT and need to overhaul diet and exercise. I’m trying to accept that this is just a phase in my life but it is hard. Very hard. I am following this thread with interest.

I have looked into some hormone related diet/health books and can see that the general pattern is less alcohol, prioritise sleep and healthy foods. I am going to try closing the window when I eat like 16:8 and lower the carbs and booze for a bit.

Good luck.

@Monr0e I found Yumi did some nice tunic dresses / floaty tops to suit a more rounded shape.
I low carbed for 4 months initially. So a typical day was eggs for breakfast, salad with chicken / avocado and full fat dressing for lunch, homemade soup / fish and vegs for tea. Snacks would be cheese, nuts, berries and double cream, very dark chocolate. I have one of those scales that tracks visceral fat and, although I still had a good bit of overall fat to go after this initial 4 months, my visceral fat levels were great. Then re introduced carbs but not too many. So bit of toast with eggs, porridge, oatcakes, brown rice etc. Very little processed food or sugar. Everything always full fat - butter, cheese, yogurt etc. Maybe 10% of what I eat is not that healthy and I don’t suppose gin is either but since I more or less maintain at the top end of a healthy BMI, I don’t care. Weights at gym can really change your shape at any weight. Not a quick fix tho. I started with just 5-15 pounds on most of the machines and gradually worked it up over time. Similarly yoga helps to give a strong core. I do lots of twists as part of my home routine and that has helped to redefine my waist.
I get what you are saying re your breasts and that it’s personal to you.To me, they just felt like something alien had attached to me. I felt restricted by mine. I’d still prefer smaller as they get in the way of some of my exercise but going back to where yours were originally is probably as good as I can manage now without drastic weight loss (and the effects on my face would be a bad trade).

Hi OP

HRT massively helps (oestrogel and utrogestan )

And:

Eat v low carb (under 20g carbs a day and 1g of protein per lb of desired weight ) plus IF 16/8 minimum if you can and once you get used to it you can do the odd 23 hour one for max effect

Don’t snack ! Raises insulin

Moderate calorie deficit - work out your TDEE and eat 300 less consistently to lose weight slowly

Walk 7k steps a day in nature

Resistance train 3-4 time a week - I do this amazing guy called Hamelin online

Alcohol - drink rarely (max once a month )

Sleep - go to bed early !

Reduce stress levels

Make sure you eat omega 3 rich food or take supplement. Also take vit D

Good luck you can do it !! X

@GeneLovesJezebel

Can I jump onboard and ask what you advise for those of us with big appetites ? I see women older than me existing on virtually nothing, missing meals, but I can’t do that. I’ve tried only snacking on fruit, but it made me feel like I was going to vomit if I ate another piece. Any advice welcomed.

3 meals a day, under 20g net carbs a day and no snacking - your appetite will reduce hugely

@GeneLovesJezebel I've seen a nutritionist who recommended a high protein diet with no low fat foods, and not low carb, but only wholemeal bread, rice etc. She recommended I eat 4 small meals a day based on this, which should keep me full enough not to snack. It's working so far and I have lost 4 pounds in 3 weeks.

My advice is to try and care less!
I am not advising that we just eat to out hearts' content ....not at all.
But realistically, to eat well, enjoy your food, don't deprive yourself.
Do enough exercise to keep yourself healthy (yoga classes
and weights at home)
And google how to dress well for your shape.....so many ideas there.

@Millicent2022, thank you for your detailed post, even if half of it is like a whole other language to me, I have a lot to learn!

I am on HRT, Estradiol 50mg and utrogestan
I sleep well as a rule, drink no more than a bottle of wine a week
Exercise - well that is non existent at the moment, I currently have a frozen shoulder which believe me is a hell of a lot more painful than it sounds.
And Keto / low carb is completely new to me so I literally have no clue apart from what I have seen on this thread

I agree I also need to learn to dress better for my shape, something I am finding very difficult. Shops don't seem to have clothes suitable and I am very wary of ordering online because I quite frankly don't have the time or energy to keep having to return items if they don't fit.

There is loads online about keto, but it's a bit extreme. So is keeping carbs to under 20gms a day. I 'd not advise that as it's really hard to maintain and not endorsed by medical experts. Working on low carb can be anywhere from 20-50gms a day. To help yourself get some perspective, you're going to have to read labels on food packaging!

Look at the gms of carbs in a slice of bread , a portion of rice (uncooked), pasta, a biscuit, etc.

Carbs include grains and refined sugar as well as starchy veg like potatoes, but you should still eat veg like carrots that are also high in carbs as they contain vits and minerals.

You could try the 5:2 diet by Michael Moseley to kick start your weight loss. It's 2 meals a day for 2 days a week. The meals add up to around 600 calories and are mainly protein with veg/ fruit. Look at The Fast Diet book ( always available online cheaply if you buy 2nd hand.)

It has photos and menus for the 2 days.

@JinglingHellsBells, thank you, it is all quite confusing

I know very little so no idea how I start calculating g of carbs etc

If someone could just come and be my personal stylist, nutritionist and PT I would be very grateful 🙏

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down on yourself @Monr0e.

I'm peri at the moment and efforts to generally eat a bit better and exercise a bit more weren't working at all. I am now very strictly calorie counting using the nutracheck app (I find it much better than my fitness pal) and exercising regularly with a mix of cardio, strength and flexibility. The weight is slowly coming off, 8 lbs since the beginning of January and the exercise is just starting to improve my shape. It's a bit of a slog but I feel so much better. The calorie counting is really helping reframe my view of what a portion of things like rice and potatoes should look like, and has highlighted where some hidden calories were. I've still got a stone to go, but I'm getting there. I'm still drinking wine at the weekend and having the odd treat, but in a more balanced way. I keep carbs down a bit and make sure I get plenty of protein. Good luck!

Thank you @WhatWouldTheDoctorDo

I'm feeling better today and more positive thanks to the support and advice.

Starting tomorrow I'm going to have sn overhaul of my diet and try and add a bit of exercise in. I'm not brave enough to go straight into keto (don't know enough to be honest) but I'm thinking intermittent fasting and low carb initially and calorie counting. I'll check out the nutracheck app.

I've got a couple of social events coming up as well so going to try and find one or two outfits I feel comfortable in for them so I'm looking forward to them, not dreading them.

I may even push the boat out and get a haircut 🙂

@Monr0e

Thank you *@WhatWouldTheDoctorDo*

I'm feeling better today and more positive thanks to the support and advice.

Starting tomorrow I'm going to have sn overhaul of my diet and try and add a bit of exercise in. I'm not brave enough to go straight into keto (don't know enough to be honest) but I'm thinking intermittent fasting and low carb initially and calorie counting. I'll check out the nutracheck app.

I've got a couple of social events coming up as well so going to try and find one or two outfits I feel comfortable in for them so I'm looking forward to them, not dreading them.

I may even push the boat out and get a haircut 🙂

Want me to send you a keto meal plan to get an idea of it? I can pm you xx

@Millicent2022 that would be very appreciated thank you

@Millicent2022 Keto is actually pretty hard core for anyone just starting out on changing their diet. It's not actually 'medically' advised to cut out whole food groups.

I don't know if you are suggesting no carbs or allowing some like wholegrains and vegetables with a high carb value ( eg root vegs.)

@Monr0e Just google Keto and loads of charts and tables come up.

It's basically replacing carbs with fat and protein.

[quote JinglingHellsBells]@Millicent2022 Keto is actually pretty hard core for anyone just starting out on changing their diet. It's not actually 'medically' advised to cut out whole food groups.

I don't know if you are suggesting no carbs or allowing some like wholegrains and vegetables with a high carb value ( eg root vegs.)

@Monr0e Just google Keto and loads of charts and tables come up.

It's basically replacing carbs with fat and protein.[/quote]
@JinglingHellsBells yep I just get my carbs from loads of crucifeoua veg, it’s a healthy way to live !

If you have the money I would recommend trying to find a couple of new outfits and u/wear that you feel good in. I think there’s a big psychological benefit to feeling good about yourself - it makes you want to eat better and do some exercise, then you have a bit more energy and start to loose some weight, which makes you feel better and so the cycle continues. Sometimes you need to give yourself the jump-start!

Hello, I found these tips really helpful, have just started experiencing lots of Peri symptoms aged 40. I wondered how you guys are finding the symptoms and weight management a few years on? Would love to know if you have any time to respond x