Absolute despair

[inininsomnia]

I've posted a couple of times without any replies. I've been on HRT (Sandrena + utrogestan) for three months, up to 2mg three weeks ago, which my meno specialist says is the maximum. The daily slumps when I couldn't move or imagine any happiness have gone, but apart a few tantalising good days and sometimes a good hour or two, they're mostly bad days. I'm exhausted and brain foggy, I have constant internal tremors and now an eye muscle twitching continuously. I've aged ten years in six months.

I have a senior job but it's being noticed that I'm behind and struggling to lead my team through a difficult time. I'm the sole breadwinner with a poorly husband so I must work. Often I wish i was dead rather than keep feeling so unwell and pressured.

I'm due blood tests in ten days to see if testosterone would be a good thing to add. I don't feel the oestrogen is doing what I need though. Can anyone give hope that this can get better?

That sounds really tough. I didn’t want to not reply but unfortunately I have no advice. I am 54 and still having monthly periods so I read the menopause thread. Not on hrt or anything yet so can’t help.

Really hope you get some helpful answers today op.

I would call your menopause specialist and tell her how much you are suffering. Is there anything she can suggest short term to give you relief? Is your senior job stressful? Are you otherwise taking care of yourself?

Would it be worth trying an antidepressant as well as the HRT? It's important to address the change in hormones, but also consider that you might need some mental health support at the same time.

I am also really sorry you're going through this. I am on the daily tablets and suffered most of the side effects listed so was referred to a gynae who actually recommended a lighter oestrogen dose version of the tablets I took. 3 months on I am feeling a lot better and the side effects have virtually gone.
Persevere and keep trying to kind the right medication. Can you speak to HR and let them know about what you're going through if they don't already?

Have they discussed adding testosterone to your mix, OP? Are you on regular vitamin D? If not, worth a try.

If you can afford it go private. They tailor it specifically to your needs and have a much faster response time.
Sorry for your daily hell, it can be fixed.

Get your vitamin D levels checked out as low blood levels can cause low mood and brain fog

I can’t take HRT.

Venlafaxine was a life saver.

Not everything is menopause related. Have you had blood tests to check vitamin levels, sugar levels, thyroid, etc? There are other thing that it would be helpful to exclude

You poor thing, that sounds horrendous. I don't know much about HRT as I didn't need it myself, but from reading on here there are different types and maybe there's another combination that would suit you better.

Blood tests are a good idea to see if there's anything else going on. Are your blood tests booked with your meno specialist or your GP? If the former, I think a GP appointment would also be a good plan.

Antidepressants shouldn't be the treatment of choice for menopause, but you sound so down and have so much on your plate that they might give you enough of a lift to help to cope better.

It'll get better, it might just take a little while to find the treatment that works for you.

I think you should tell your GP how hard you're finding things OP. I don't know if changing your HRT is the answer, or antidepressants, or talking therapy, or practical steps to alleviate some of the huge pressure you're under. Could you take some time off work sick?

You say that sometimes you wish you were dead. Please talk to your GP or a trusted friend about how you're feeling. Please know that things change, things can get better and you won't always feel this way.

Do you have friends or family IRL who you can talk to about how you're feeling?

Look after yourself OP. Take one step at a time. Make an appointment with the GP. Then make time to see a friend or relative who you can talk to. Look into taking some sick leave.

@QueenOfHiraeth

Not everything is menopause related. Have you had blood tests to check vitamin levels, sugar levels, thyroid, etc? There are other thing that it would be helpful to exclude

I was going to say this. As someone on HRT and also with low thyroid and low vitamin D and B12 levels, a lot of the symptoms overlap. Try and get a full blood panel done to make sure it’s not something else causing these issues. And if caring for your poorly DH is stressing you out this could also be contributing, so ADs or some kind of anti anxiety meds might help rather than it all being about the hormones. Hope you get it sorted asap - it’s miserable feeling like that and not knowing that to do to fix it

Sounds horrendous. Hold are you?

I think stress makes menopause much worse however you may have other underlying conditions. Vit D & B are worth trying but also a full blood work out.

Can you take some time off? It might feel impossible but if you're not functioning then it's essential.

I really feel for you, OP. I have also had work issues, with foggy brain and forgetfulness. It’s devastating because you get to a point in your career where you’ve worked your way up and then it feels like it’s all going to waste. Would your HR team be supportive? 💐

which my meno specialist says is the maximum

Is this a private menopause specialist, a GP, or what?

Well, no, it's not, basically. So they are presumably misinformed.

You are using Sandrena and the sachets come in 1mgs doses ( or 0.5)

There is another gel type - Oestrogel - where the maximum suggested dose is 4 pumps, which comes to 3 mgs a day. Also, you have only used the 2mgs dose for 3 weeks which is very short term.

I know that other posters have suggested all sorts of ideas BUT the most obvious one is you need to increase your estrogen dose.

I'd suggest you change to another menopause specialist (so many are now calling themselves that when it's clear they aren't!)

And in the meantime, increase the dose yourself. But you'd find it easier with Oestrogel as it's a pump not sachets, so you can increase the dose by half a pump, by not pressing the plunger right down, and building up gradually.