Perimenopause?

[sugarthief]

Urrrghhhh seeking any kind of chat, advice, experience anything!
I am fed up with how I feel.
Got a new job in June - absolutely love my job - been so happy since starting it - everything was going lovely (not really relevant to my problem but just want to point out how happy I have been and normally am!)
I am just turned 43.
Missed a period in October.. thought I was pregnant - but wasnt.. didnt think too much of it - whos not happy to skip a period right?
Novembers period came... jesus!!!! Genuinely started to think I was dying... I was heavily bleeding for 30 days.. HUGE clots... I thought organs were coming out of me! had to give in and register to my local surgery to see a Dr (I hadnt belonged to a Drs in 4 years and barely ever needed to go to a Dr previously to this) So I am not one for running to Dr for everything! I was absolutely exhausted.. on verge of collapse - how I managed to carry on in life I dont know - silly to wait so long I know but I just kept thinking it would stop. I had to use massive incontinence pads as normal sanitary pads (even night time pads) just were not good enough.. didnt dare use tampons because of the clots. I was crying ALL the time over nothing.. felt anxious all the time (this is not me at all) Its like my brain just switched into psycho, emotional wreck mode!
So I was prescribed Tranexamic acid to stop the bleeding, had blood tests, also prescribed the pill (I was worried this would mask the problem but I duly started taking them anyway.
Bleeding stopped after a week...so a total of 37 days bleeding.. had another appointment with dr a couple of days later to go through my blood results.
She said I had severe Folate anaemia and severe iron anaemia as a result of the heavy bleeding. She said she didnt know how I was still standing my levels were that low.
got given high strength tablets to take twice a day for 3 months to get levels back up (dr said I might need to take for longer as its a slow process to get them back up after dropping so low)
I asked the Dr if it could be Perimenopause related, all this! She said given my age she thinks I am too young? I also told her my mum had to start HRT at 42 - she still brushed the idea to side.
So! Although I dont feel as bad in myself as when I first went Drs, I definitely don't feel good still :( I am sick of it!

I didnt bleed for a bit after starting taking the pill (desogestrel) but then came a 'period' and once that had been going for 3 weeks I made another appointment at drs - no clots this time but certainly not light bleeding... was like the worst few days of a moderately heavy period but continuous for 3 weeks.
Got a different Dr this time... I told her I was stopping the pill as I wasnt happy taking it when I had been bleeding for 3 weeks on it - not only that but within a couple of weeks of taking it I got so bloated and felt 6 months pregnant.. felt uncomfortable in my stomach area ever since and depressed at looking so bloated. Maybe it wasnt to do with that but since stopping taking it in the last week, the bleeding has stopped and the bloatedness has gone!
I asked her about Perimenopause and whether she thinks all this trouble has started because of that - she said I am too young also! She asked me if I was getting hot flushes, I said no and she said it cant be perimenopause then! (am I the only one very confused by this?) I know perimenopause can give you a whole host of symptoms.. not just hot flushes!
She said I could try taking 2 of the contraceptive pills a day to see if that helps? NEVER heard of taking 2 pills before at same time each day? Whats that all about! I told her if its made me bleed for 3 weeks and made my stomach look like I am 6 months pregnant taking 1 pill a day, I am not wanting to double the dose and get double the symptoms thank you! So I declined that idea!
This other Dr is sending me for an ultrasound scan so we will see if anything shows up on that, but in the meantime I am so tired all of the time.. my short term memory is absolutely awful and I have never had problems like that before! I am emotional most of the time - the other day I was on the bus on my own, wasnt thinking of anything at all but just burst into tears on the bus.. felt a complete idiot! Could not stop crying, even though I was trying to tell myself I was crying at nothing!
I dont know if I am so tired, having memory problems and crying because of the anaemia, or its to do with something else... Drs just seem to not know or be able to help... feel like I am banging my head against a wall and theres no light at the end of the tunnel!
Has anyone had any problems like this because of perimenopause? I just would like to be able to either rule it out or get some kind of assurance someone else out there has been through same!
I have been reading about perimenopause and there's so much more to it than hot flushes! Why do 2 drs at my surgery not seem to know anything about perimenopause?
I cant go on feeling like this. I am utterly miserable, emotional, and would actually rather not exist than carry on feeling like this. I said this to one of the drs and she started asking me if I want to see a counsellor if I am having suicidal thoughts! FGS! I had to explain to her I am not going to go off and kill myself, I am just trying to convey that if someone asked me to carry on like this or not be here, I would answer the latter because I am not having a life anymore right now - I am literally just existing, and its because something isnt right that needs sorting.. I was fine before this started - I am such a happy, cheerful person normally... I just want to feel normal again!

Sorry for the long post but any ideas VERY welcome please!
Thank you!

Well as someone who was definitely suffering peri in my early 40’s I would not say you are too young!

What other bloods did they check? Because
I am so tired all of the time.. my short term memory is absolutely awful and I have never had problems like that before! I am emotional most of the time - the other day I was on the bus on my own, wasnt thinking of anything at all but just burst into tears on the bus.. felt a complete idiot! Could not stop crying

^I was like this when I started suffering from an underactive thyroid which also causes heavy periods & anxiety. Did they check your thyroid function?
However, I’ve also been anaemic and been very tired and over emotional so…
Can you get a printout of your blood test results and see exactly what they tested?

Hiya! thank you!
Funnily enough I had more blood tests the other day as the Dr I saw was not happy that the last Dr had not requested thyroid to be checked so that dr was running a test for everything same as before but also thyroid because I had told them both how tired I am, I ache all the time too.. best way to describe it is that my whole skeleton aches - like every bone :(
I havent heard anything back which they said I would get a text if any treatment needed following blood test but I am going to book an appointment again early next week and ask for another Dr to see if they can help me this time... 2 Drs down - will try them all if I need to!
Thats the trouble now - I have no idea if the anaemia is to blame now or something else... all I know is I just want it all to go away!
Surely something can be done - I just need a dr to know how to help me!

I would ask for a scan to check for fibroids to rule out anything else causing the heavy bleeding first. There is a FB group called The Menopause Support Network which is very good and has loads of good information and advice. Also you could visit www.newsonhealth.co.uk which has a lot of information which could help.

Folate and iron could be causing memory issues and exhaustion. I'd make sure they're good first before seeking hrt. They should have really checked thyroid too.

But yes my issues started late 30s early 40s, didn't get flushes till last year and I'll be 45 this year. The start was very heavy slightly random periods. But actually since my second child at 41 they've been regular, just v light and I've been having other peri symptoms.

A friend who had awful bleeding (but was told it wasn't peri; it is often a sign) was given the mirena coil and found it great.

You can then be given oestrogen patches on top if you need them.

Balance app by Louise Newson is useful, www.balance-menopause.com/

As is her website, lots of fact sheets, and also her book. She runs a private clinic you could get on the waiting list for but i actually think working with your Gp can be better.

I think you'd should emphasise your mum's experience too again.

It often takes a few appts to get anywhere, if you can track periods and symptoms you have more evidence.

Definitely get iron and folate up now!

You have my sympathies you are going through this OP. You say neither GP has done much to help, but these things can take time. If the second GP ordered a load of blood tests, I think you should give them the opportunity to get the results and make a diagnosis. I reckon the problem is they haven’t done a good job of explaining to you what they are doing and why, and they clearly haven’t done well at making you feel listened to and assured. Peri menopause can, from my own experience definitely make you tired, very tearful and easily upset. I also had horrible aching bones, to the extent I sometimes found my gentle yoga class painful. I would keep an open mind for now and see how your next appointment goes. If they fail to book you an appointment because the tests are all negative? That’s just not good enough and i would be asking for a copy of all the tests and taking them to another GP. Best of luck with it all.

Your GP should examine you for fibroids as a minimum here. You are probably perimenopausal. My advice would be to just tell them you have started having night sweats and hot flushes - even if you don't because some GPs only have those symtoms in mind when trying to diagnose perimenopause. Yes its stupid to have to lie, but it's extremely stupid bot to train GPs fully in how to recognise when a woma is going through perimenopause when to everyone else, it's blatantly obvious!

Sorry for being so angry on your behalf @sugarthief. BUT a dr who only think peri meno HAS to include hot flushes should be struck off. She's not fit to practice. This is nothing short of a disgrace.

Insist on a referral to a gynaecologist for a 2nd opinion.

Hey - I'm sorry you're going through this but it sounds quite similar in some ways to my experience.

I'm almost 44, and I've had really bad joint pains for about 6 months now - mostly if I don't move for a while and then move - my fingers whilst sleeping, for eg, or my knees if I kneel and then get up again. Or my hips if I sit and then get up. I feel like I am suddenly 100.

I also have some vaginal dryness I think - I need to get a GP to actually have a look because when I went a few months ago they just gave me a self-swab to go do in the toilet for thrush and BV (came back normal).

I also developed migraines at 38yo for the first time in my life and now wonder if estrogen fluctuations didn't start even then.

I spoke to my GP and he said I was 'too young' - which I knew from the Louise Newson podcast (excellent, BTW!) was total BS. He also said we could do an FSH blood test (along with others). The bloods all came back normal and FSH was still low, so he said it couldn't be per-menopause. But I know (again, from the Louise Newson podcast!!) that blood tests are inaccurate because levels vary wildly and quickly even throughout the day. My GP even said "And what do we do if it IS peri-menopause, put you on HRT?! Ha ha ha', as if that were the most ridiculous thing.

Ummmm.... er, yes please. Give me back the lost hormones which are causing the symptoms, please.

So I am now in the process of trying to make an appointment with a menopause clinic or doctor so I can see someone who actually knows more than me.

I'm on Cerazette (desogestrel) to control endo and have been for about 9 years. There can be quite a bit of ongoing bleeding at first (mine was brown and sludgy, gross...) but it usually does settle down for most women and then completely stops. So you could persevere with that...

I'm terrified of tinkering with things and endo coming back, but I am sold on HRT preventing osteoporosis, heart disease, dementia and bowel cancer and not increasing the risk of breast cancer. So I know I will want to go on it at some point and stay on it and if I'm getting symptoms now, I need it now really. I'm not sure how Cerazette will fit into all this or whether I'll have to come off it...

But anyway - you are most probably peri-menopausal. You are not too young. You just need to find a doctor who specialises in the menopause. You may have to go private for this but you don't have to stay private - if you can use private health care to get started on HRT that suits you and do the tinkering around stuff, then you can just go back to your regular doctor and say 'I'd like some more of this stuff which is working so well for me, thanks'... :)

You are entitled to ask for Vagifem any tine over 40 I think and Ovestin anytime hormonal changes make vulva dry and uncomfortable. Insist on at least getting you dryness sorted. It's negligence if they ignore you, please consider seeing another doctor and/or complaining to the surgery practice manager.

Totally, I have an appointment next week because I've also been getting some weird discharge. Sometimes very watery (like wee!) and sometimes incredibly thick like glue, with a yellow tinge. I don't think I have an infection and I'm up to date on my smears. I think I have vaginal atrophy and this is all part of that. But will get the doctor to take a look and hopefully give me some Vagifem pessaries or something, then I just have to wait a few more weeks to get in with a menopause clinic to figure out the rest....