Moods: How do you know it's menopause & not just life shit?

[worriedmum20000]

I've got quite a lot going on in my life at the moment - stressful job, moody teenager on track to fail GCSEs & recent bereavement plus the impact of covid I'm sure we're all feeling.
I'm short tempered and snappy with my family (in particular DS15 who is frankly, bloody rude), lacking in energy and generally feel lacklustre. How do I know whether this is just a symptom of my life right now or the onset of menopause. I'm 47 and my period is still regular and no hot flushes or any other changes I'm aware of. In some ways I hope it is menopause then I can at least do something about

I don't know. My moods are swinginabout all over the place at the moment, and I assume it's hormonal, but I don't know for sure. There have been both great and shit things happening lately, so it could just be life. It's like British weather- I don't know what it will be like when I wake, and I don't know if it will still be like that later in the day. It would be nice to day a bit longer in the middle than either extreme ups and downs though.

I've had bouts of insomnia since I was a teen, so won't know if that menopause or just life, either (though it's not been something I've had that recently.)

Could be peri menopause.
My periods became more regular at this time, and I don’t have flushes.
My PMT increased though, and I became generally unable to tolerate shit at home and work.

Hmmm possibly then. Am if it is menopause, when is time to seek help? Being irritable and short tempered in itself isn't serious but it's not pleasant for me or those I live with so it seems a bit daft everyone suffering when there might be help out there. Maybe now is the time to start reading up on it and making some lifestyle changes, look into supplements?

I don't think you do know. Often it's both. I'm still pissed off and moody with DP a lot of the time on HRT. But I no longer have the uncontrollable rage or overwhelming anxiety I felt before HRT. So yes, DP is still annoying and I still get moody but it's much more manageable.

I'm 47 with regular periods. It took me 2 years to realise that what I was experiencing was perimenopausal symptoms. Mood swings, increased anxiety, insomnia - having always been an unfailingly solid sleeper - and a general feeling of being less happy than I used to be. Fortunately (sort of) I realised that I'd been feeling this way since before Covid otherwise I would have put it down to the pandemic!

In the end I had a run of particularly bad nights, lying awake for hours horribly anxious about nothing and everything. It was so obvious to me that it was hormonal. I called my GP the next morning and fortunately he listened and was happy to prescribe HRT (once he'd done blood tests to rule out anything else).

I've been on it for 3 weeks now, so a bit early to tell if it's made a real difference but I do feel steadier than I did before. More like myself.

I've still not had a single hot flush by the way!

Maybe you can do some simple tracking for a month or two? I knew it was peri menopause when I stopped having massive rage and argument at same time every month after oestrogen!

I noticed I became so much more irritable and angry.

I had a lot of physical issues too which is what led to seeking help. They were swings of energy up and down, pain and insomnia. Too hot at night. I was a few months off 45. My periods were v regular give a couple of days, but quite short.

They've gone a bit awol on hrt but I feel more balanced, so much less pain and do sleep a lot better.

I feel a bit glum this month but I know why; pressures at work and lack of time.

@worriedmum20000

Hmmm possibly then. Am if it is menopause, when is time to seek help? Being irritable and short tempered in itself isn't serious but it's not pleasant for me or those I live with so it seems a bit daft everyone suffering when there might be help out there. Maybe now is the time to start reading up on it and making some lifestyle changes, look into supplements?

Supplements I found helpful and still take as they chill me out are magnesium glycinate (and I spray home made mag spray on my body daily) glycine and sometimes a little zinc, all at night. I also take some taurine (powder in my tea as is cheaper) magnesium glycinate and taurine are known for supporting sleep and mood. There's evidence for magnesium being helpful in peri menopause and taurine seems to be very commonly used for sleep and mood as well as other conditions (I think epilepsy?) Lara Briden writes a lot about taurine and mag.

In the day bvits and vit d and k2, which I've always done.

I do a occasionally check iron and take Spatone if low.

I never tried soy etc as I have hypothyroidism and wasn't sure about the interactions.

But nothing really helped as much as the the patches! I remember after the first couple of weeks feeling so normal. It goes up and down as my own hormones are but so much better.

You could ask for anti depressants but I'd ask for a trial of hrt first. You've nothing to loose.

Tracky- can I ask which spray you use, I occasionally take magnesium tablets which do help with sleep but affect my bowels

I tried ancient minerals and better you but it's so expensive.

So I make my own which works out cheaper in the long run. And less plastic

You need a spray bottle. And magnesium chloride flakes and distilled water which I get from Amazon. I did use spring water first; this article says something about extending the shelf life with distilled water but I wondered if extra minerals changed it somehow.

50/50 mag and water in a pan, heat up and pour into bottle when cool.

Over all it's a lot cheaper and exactly the same stuff.

theherbalacademy.com/homemade-magnesium-oil/

OP, do you feel moody or are you getting feelings of rage? Rage is menopausal IME! 😂

For £5 you can get Menopace vitamins (Boots, Tesco, Amazon) and see if they help. They made me feel calmer, less ragey overnight. I love them.

For magnesium you can just have an Epsom salt bath 2 or 3 times a week.

Thanks for the magnesium tips 👍

worriedmum I was going to start a similar thread. I'm your age and generally feeling very dissatisfied with the relationships in my life. I'm trying to work out how much is hormone fueled (convinced I'm in the depths of the peri-menopause) and how much of it is because my relationships are genuinely not very good. Serious relationship issues with husband - I think some of it is real on account of some of his actions/behaviour - it's like I can now see things for what they really are and it feels like before, I very much saw things through rose coloured spectacles and was far more accepting. There is also dissatisfaction with friendships that I've had for numerous years. Nobody is perfect and I do forget this but I also feel like I have little in common with friends now except we have dcs or that my friends are particularly poor listeners (but am I expecting too much and I'm probably not the best listener either). But still, there is a feeling of general discontentment.

I am far less tolerant of my dc too and feel like I need to dig deep. I remain calm and continue to do some activities (but minimal) with them etc. but if I'm honest it feels like it is a relief when they are at school/pre-school and I can take time for myself. Re-wind years ago, I know I didn't feel like this and I was described by friends as being particularly patient etc with dc.

I was also a huge people pleaser and happy to go the extra mile for others. Not anymore.

I'm having therapy but I don't feel any clearer about it really. Watching your thread with interest.

Part of what I’ve noticed is that now I’m on HRT, everything seems easier. So for example before I might drop a might smash a favourite mug and get really disproportionately angry and now I just go ‘oh dear’ quite calmly. I’m much more serene and as such a nicer person to be around. I didn’t go to the doctor about this, but rather weakness and fatigue causes, it turned out, by low testosterone, so going on HRT (oestrogen) wasn’t expected but it’s made a big difference along with the testosterone. I think I was say 43 when it all began but it’s quite hard to judge as these things are a bit like slowly getting boiled alive in an increasIngly hot bath, you don’t notice how bad it’s actually become.

How do we know if its HRT we need or if it's an under active thyroid problem?

I felt positively murderous before I started HRT at 47.

Back to normal levels of irritation now, no digging up of the patio needed.

Before a GP prescribes HRT, they should run bloods to rule out other causes of symptoms such as thyroid problems.

I am also 47 and have turned into my evil twin the last few months. I was wondering if the mini pill would help, also have very heavy, but short and still regular periods. Does HRT help with that too? I am going to book a doctors appointment. I had blood tests last year after having heart palpitations which they said was anxiety, though I wasn’t anxious about anything. Blood tests didn’t show anything.

I think the trouble is that menopause/peri menopause hit just at the same time that other life issues come to the boil. Careers can be peaking, parents becoming frail, teenagers becoming difficult.

There are a lot of reasons for feeling life has become intolerable. For me the clincher was flatness of mood, meaning I couldn’t just enjoy the occasional fun moments. That was a driver for getting HRT, which helped me navigate my career collapsing, one parent dying and the other becoming very ill, all at the same time.

For me the clincher was flatness of mood, meaning I couldn’t just enjoy the occasional fun moments.

Yes I felt very flat as well as highly irritable. Grumpy too. I'm not sure if I'm on the right dose yet

Fit me it was also all over body and joint pain

@WarriorN

For me the clincher was flatness of mood, meaning I couldn’t just enjoy the occasional fun moments.

Yes I felt very flat as well as highly irritable. Grumpy too. I'm not sure if I'm on the right dose yet

Fit me it was also all over body and joint pain

Yes. It's weird, isn't it? I had a very sore little finger joint and a frozen shoulder. Pretty well gone now, two years or so into HRT. The shoulder in particular flummoxed me. I was about to get rid of a new and expensive mattress that I blamed when a nurse told me it was probably my 'age'.

I'm 47 and regular periods but am definitely in peri and started HRT recently. For me it wasn't one thing but a combo of migraines, vertigo, night sweats, insomnia and my weight spiralling for no obvious reason. HRT has been a game-changer.

"Part of what I’ve noticed is that now I’m on HRT, everything seems easier. So for example before I might drop a might smash a favourite mug and get really disproportionately angry and now I just go ‘oh dear’ quite calmly."
I'm the same, but I didn't go on HRT, I got divorced Still have some menopause symptoms (I'm 52, so unsurprising), but I can deal with minor (and indeed more major) life problems with equanimity!

Wondering the same tbh. 46 with regular periods and no obvious physical symptoms except thinning hair and thickening waist. But much more irritable than I used to be, and more flat in mood too. Zero libido.

But sometimes I wonder if it's just the life I'm living. Terminally ill dm, young dc who are still quite demanding, part time but responsible job, and dp who often leaves all the drudgery to me, is fairly miserable and unsociable himself, and I often feel lonely. Not sure if hrt would help, or life changes. Maybe old fashioned mid life crisis??