Feel like a fraud

[ImpossibleDetails]

Have today been some HRT for the first time (Estrelle??) as I was convinced I was having perimenopause symptoms (no libido, constant night sweats, rage, anger, vaginal dryness, random crying) however chat with nurse has made me question it all.

She gave me HRT but said (after tests) that my FSH is still in normal range and that although my periods have changed regularity/length/flow they are still appearing. So I'm not perimenopausal.

She repeatedly asking if I'm depressed and I said that the constant waking in the night covered in sweat and unable to sleep is getting me down but I wouldn't class it as depression.

Now I feel like a fraud, if she says FSH is within normal range am I making all this up?! Could it actually be depression?

DH says she wouldn't have prescribed HRT if she didn't believe it slightly but I just feel like such a fraud. (I am 39, think this just adds to the feeling). Anyone else felt like this?

@JinglingHellsBells you seem to really know your stuff…. Do you know anything about fertility?!?! X

[quote Hoping43]@JinglingHellsBells you seem to really know your stuff…. Do you know anything about fertility?!?! X[/quote]
:) It's not my area of expertise but I can offer an opinion if it's dead simple, or suggest where you can find an expert or books.

@JinglingHellsBells well I suppose to cut a really long story short…. I’m trying for my third baby and really worrying about perimenopause and for people who have experienced it, I guess I just want to know whether it sounds like it could be or not. I’ve just turned 35, have night sweats around my cycle which I’ve had since I was 33 (not drenching, just mainly damp hair at the back of my neck, started when my periods returned after having my second baby), my cycle is regular 28-31 days but some months I feel it’s lighter than it used to be although still have 2-3 days of normal bleeding and my FSH had recently measured 9.6 with the normal range 2-10. Just so stressed out convincing myself it’s bad news and we all know how helpful GPS are….

@JinglingHellsBells sorry, my periods last 5-7 days with 2-3 days of normal bleeding and the remainder light bleeding

[quote Hoping43]@JinglingHellsBells well I suppose to cut a really long story short…. I’m trying for my third baby and really worrying about perimenopause and for people who have experienced it, I guess I just want to know whether it sounds like it could be or not. I’ve just turned 35, have night sweats around my cycle which I’ve had since I was 33 (not drenching, just mainly damp hair at the back of my neck, started when my periods returned after having my second baby), my cycle is regular 28-31 days but some months I feel it’s lighter than it used to be although still have 2-3 days of normal bleeding and my FSH had recently measured 9.6 with the normal range 2-10. Just so stressed out convincing myself it’s bad news and we all know how helpful GPS are….[/quote]
I don't know. I think your best bet is to see a fertility dr privately if you can afford it as a first step and also maybe have a blood test for your ovarian reserve (some women do this if they have not had a child by 35 and want to consider egg freezing.)

Your fertility may be slowing down but it doesn't mean you can't concive.

Many women are just starting TTC at 35, not from choice, often, but lack of a partner before that age.

I've recently seen a £7 menopause checking kit for sale in a local pharmacy, I don't know what it measures but may be worth looking into?

As others have said, hormone testing is not super reliable as the point is it can fluctuate hugely.

I also had similar issues at the same age. Long story short, turns out I was in full menopause but they were dicks about looking into it. I had virtually every single symptom going and said I think I’m in peri, and the male GP said “I’m sending a lot of emotional response here, perhaps you need some therapy”. I nearly screamed at him “of course I’m fucking emotional - I can’t sleep, I have heart palpitations and night sweats etc etc and you aren’t even taking me seriously.” Fucking emotional my arse.

PS @Freebus is correct that you can order FSH blood test kits from the pharmacy. Here’s’s a link to Superdrug’s for £30. Although no one should be having to pay for this stuff in an ideal world.

onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/menopause-test-kit_ppc.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIj-be5eip9QIV6OjtCh0naABlEAAYASAAEgI09vD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Thanks everyone for your replies. I’ll take a look into the test although I think it measures FSH which I have had tested 3 times this year and has always come back within normal range.

@SantaHat it seems like you had lots of symptoms. I really only have the being sweaty at night during my cycle and my periods seeming lighter some months so really not sure. We will be eligible for a fertility referral shortly now on the NHS anyway. Just hope I can get my last baby before it’s too late 💔

Also, my mum didn’t go through menopause until 55 which seems to be a big factor 🤷🏼‍♀️

Keeping my fingers crossed for you @Hoping43

@SantaHat thank you so much, me too. It’s causing a lot of stress and anxiety xx