Anxiety back from the blue

[RamsayBoltonsConscience]

Hi all
I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just want assurances that I'm not going insane. I'm on HRT, peri menopausal, been on it for 3 months and it's been a life saver. My sleep is back, hot flushes gone, feeling more like myself. Prior to HRT, I had episodes of anxiety which I have never suffered from before it it's been so much better. Silly things like driving to pick my son up from uni, heard a clicking on my wheel and almost had a full blown panic attack. I had picked up a stone but I was completely unable to rationalise about this in the moment.
Fast forward and my son has his first job out of uni. I'm thrilled for him but he will need to move to Birmingham ( we're in Essex). This was going to be easy as he has a friend up there in a shared house with an empty room and he was going to move in there, house mates had agreed in theory. Last night he got the news from his friend that the other house mates have said no as the house will be too cramped. Son has started looking for a room to rent(he starts work on 17th Jan.)
Although this is not the best situation, we can work around it and housemates have said he can stay in the short term if he can't find anything. However, I found myself completely unable to sleep worrying about this last night and at about 3:30 am having the most horrific anxiety attack.
I suppose what I'm asking is, will I need to adjust my thinking to accept that this kind of anxiety episode will just creep up on me for the foreseeable future? Should I speak to my doctor about adjusting my dosage (I have a Mirena so on a relatively low dose -2 pumps- of estrogel) or do I just chalk it up to over tiredness around Xmas and see how it goes? I'm still feeling a bit anxious now but I can rationalise this morning and sort of ignore it. I honestly don't know how people cope with this in the long term as there was a point last night when I felt like I couldn't go on if I was always going to feel that way. I'm a single parent so have no one to wake up and talk me down. Feeling quite tired and tearful this morning 😔

So sorry, anxiety is so bad and especially in the middle of the night. My anxiety has also got so much worse the last 6 months and think it may be peri-menopause related. Can imagine it feels really hard being a single parent as well - but just to say in my experience having a husband doesn't help at all, I wake him up with middle of the night anxiety sometimes but nothing he says helps and if anything him being there makes it worse as it means I can't read or something to try to distract myself, for fear of disturbing his sleep as well.
I have gone on a very low dose of antidepressants and that is helping, I'm not reacting with anxiety attacks to nearly as many things and when something does set me off it's not such a bad, sleep-affecting reaction if you see what I mean.

Really feel for you as a anxiety is the absolute pits.
I can totally empathise with the wheel experience whilst driving too.

If it’s any consolation, my anxiety was horrendous whilst driving. We are talking no dual carriage ways, fast bendy roads, basically just short local journeys would be all I could manage. It’s only marginally better now. I’ve tried and tried to fix it, but I can’t, it’s all hormonal.

Anyway, you are on a low dose of gel, so maybe look at increasing an extra half a pump to see how you get on?

Melissa has mentioned a low dose of anti depressants, what do you think? I think some are better than others for hormonal anxiety.

No real advice other than to be kind to yourself.

Being a single parent, I expect you have lots to juggle and you are working. It’s not easy and our brains cannot always cope with the huge loads we often have to carry as women.

The menopause tipped my anxiety sideways. Way beyond anything I’d had before, and ld had bad anxiety. This was a whole new level.

I can’t take HRT, but take Venlafaxine which has been a massive help.

Any side effects with the venalflaxine Arse?
Only asking as GP prescribed me mirtazapine for sleep and anxiety, but I felt permanently sedated on it, so stopped.

Thanks everyone, maybe I will try an extra half pump and see if it makes a difference. I'm very reluctant to try anti depressants but I'm not going to rule it out. I had never experienced anything like this before becoming menopausal but take my hat off to anyone who has dealt with this long term,it's horrendous.
I'm going to go for a long walk later. Normally I would go for a run as that usually helps to sort my head out but I've got a dodgy calf muscle and I haven't done anything for a few days.

I never ever suffered from anxiety pre-menopause, I was always even tempered. Sadly it’s now a big part of my life.

I am on patches, Evorel sequi. I also use additional patches, so I’m on the equivalent of 75 units of Estrogen.

It’s not enough, 100 keeps me more mentally balanced but also gives me breakthrough bleeding and flooding, which leads to anemia.

I find I particularly suffer from anxiety after caffeine, alcohol, or if I don’t have enough sleep - like now for instance. A long walk helps, as does distracting books to read or TV to watch.

In the new year I’m going to try and get antidepressants from the GP, as well as upping my exercise and staying off the booze. My mum gave up drinking at menopause and now I know why

LaMariposa,
In the sane boat here.
75 patch keeps me balanced and sane, but experiencing horrendous bleeds and pain with it.

Have reduced to 50, in the hope of keeping the bleeds at bay AND a bit balanced at least.

Have you tried any other regimes at all?

I’ve always really struggled with side effects. But Venlafaxine is now my BAE!

I’ve been on 13. Ven is the best.

The weird side effect is; if you overeat it makes you want to eat lots more. If you don’t eat much it kind of kills your appetite. Very strange! But manageable.

Amitryptiline is also good for sleep. I’m on that too

Mirtazapine made me an evil tempered witch. I’m just nice and kind on Venlafaxine

@Runaround50 no, I’ve just had patches. They work for me (mostly) and I know I’d forget to take pills - brain fog.

It’s honestly so depressing. I’m in my early 40s with young children - life should be good but it isn’t.

I’m 51 and started with the crippling anxiety/insomnia 5 years ago. HRT and Fluoxetine have helped enormously. I would highly recommend an antidepressant as well as HRT.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow, thanks
Yes that mirtazapine is brutal. Seriously, I took 15 mg one evening, was asleep 10 mins later, but then couldn’t wake up the following day. Like I was in some kind of semi conscious coma!! Bloody awful. Never again.

I’ve got amitryptiline, which I find gentler but effective. Will see how i get on as need to curb the anxiety a bit more.

@LaMariposa, I totally get how you feel. I’m 50, but this crap started 3 years ago. It sounds like your brain needs the extra oestrogen, but your womb is protesting? I am exactly the same, but on 75 patch. Ironically, the 100 makes me even more deranged and psychotic!

What about an oestrogen only patch with utrogestan or a Mirena coil for progesterone? It’s meant to be good for bleeding.

@Phyllis321, what anti and Hrt do you take?

Elleste Duet and Fluoxetine. I have also used Sertraline in the past which was good. Be aware that the first weeks on ADs can be hard as your brain chemistry adjusts.

Another 👍 for venlafaxine, but find it impossible to orgasm